Just Go Read This

From Jesus' General:

I have a couple of other responses to my emails that I haven't posted yet, because I was hoping to get further responses from them. It's been a couple of months now, and I haven't, so I'll post the first one today. It's from Hi-Caliber, the conservative rapper.

I wrote him in March, shortly after he performed at CPAC, and asked him if he'd be interested in performing at our Men's Purity Revival and Survivalist Fair in Oct. Here's a excerpt from that letter:


"It's going to be a heck of a lot of manly fun. We'll have purity discussions and films, military-style training, Christian Spartan-style wrestling, spiritual warfare, and an Oktoberfest party where we'll drink real near beer and do that Bavarian dance where guys slap each other.

We'd need you to do a rap song at the beginning of each day (four in all), and do two or three raps before and after the wrestling...

At least one of your songs would have to be about the sin of masturbation and another about why we should hate the gay...."



Be sure and check this out, too.

Gold.


via Jesus' General

Today's Godtube/tangle Moment

Finally! Someone summed up the major arguments against gay marriage in under 30 seconds...kinda.

Pastor Mike, a gay internet taint-goblin, made this vidja with the aid of his daughter's Leapfrog to help us understand that the gays Devaluate™ the concept of marriage, which is based on gold and Ron Paul dollars.

via tangle

Today's Paultard Video

Again with the tiniest hobbit.

We'd stop mocking if he's stop videoing. Or whatever that word would be.

From the description:

twitter me twitter.com/robertwanek

my president is fascist he wants me to serve thats the bottom line respect he can't earn.


via Middle-earth

Morning Dump

Paultards may have found the perfect country for exile.

What's in a name?

Oh please oh please oh please oh please...

Field Trip!!!

West Virginia you say?

Meghan McCain admits that embracing handsome young gentlemen callers is the GOP's Only Hope™

BREAKING NEWS: brickbat Endorses Missouri

The alternate title of this post was "Chuck Baldwin And This Douche Are Gold-humping, Ron Paul-fetishist Jewbeasts."

From (giggle) Chuck Baldwin:

Thanks to a concerned Missouri state policeman, a nationally syndicated radio talk show host stated that he was alerted last week to a secret Missouri state police report that categorized supporters of Congressman Ron Paul, Bob Barr, and myself as "'militia' influenced terrorists." The report, he said, "instructs the Missouri police to be on the lookout for supporters displaying bumper stickers and other paraphernalia associated with the Constitutional, Campaign for Liberty, and Libertarian parties."

Ignoring the threat of Muslim terrorists, the Missouri Information Analysis Center (MIAC) report focuses on the so-called "militia movement" and "conflates it with supporters of Ron Paul, Chuck Baldwin, Bob Barr, the so-called patriot movement and other political activist organizations opposed to the North American Union and the New World Order."


Good...because you people are fucking nuts.

Let's read on:

The Columbia Daily Tribune also carried the story last Saturday. It quoted Missouri resident Tim Neal of Miller County. "When Neal read the report, he couldn't help but think it described him. A military veteran and a delegate to the 2008 Missouri Republican state convention, he didn't appreciate being lumped in with groups like the Neo-Nazis.

"'I was going down the list and thinking, "Check, that's me,"' he said. 'I'm a Ron Paul supporter, check. I talk about the North American union, check. I've got the "America: Freedom to Fascism" video loaned out to somebody right now. So that means I'm a domestic terrorist? Because I've got a video about the Federal Reserve?'"


Yes, it does.




And with that, we bring you a very special Today's Paultard Video:



via here and Columbia Daily Tribune,

Today's Paultard Video

Once you get past the history of our Earths and how Jesus invented a bunch of neat stuff for a bunch of heathen ingrates, you get to the part about how most politicians are Satanists.

via the Youtubes

Oh, Good Lord

Myspace Glitter Graphics




Barack Obama may have his hands full with this one.

Joe Biden has received and accepted the invitation to attend and SPEAK at the Special Olympics World Winter Games in Idaho on Thursday.

"What's so wrong with that?" you might ask.

See here, here, and here.

We're expecting something to the effect of: "Folks, it's just great to be here. I haven't been around this many frigid retards since I met the Palins."

Please let there be video clips.

Another Admitted Guilty Pleasure

This was gold.

via The Principal's Office

Today's Godtube Moment

brickbat proudly brings you The Fischers, a family of musical homosexual puss demons from Outer space...or Nashville. I can't remember which one.

In their own words:

You don't believe in killing babies-Get Out and Vote! You don't believe in Gay marriage-Get Out and Vote! Don't like illegal immigration-Get Out and Vote! Don't like Slack politicians-Get Out and Vote! Stand up and be counted! IF YOU DON'T GET OUT AND VOTE--THE DEVIL WILL! There are supposed to be many more people in this country that believe in God than those that don't. So tell me, why are these ungodly minorities pushing us around and passing laws that are anti-Christ and anti-God? Because we don't stand up! If every single person that claims to believe in God were to get out there and vote for Godly values we wouldn't be sliding into such an ungodly mess! Stand up and be counted!!! For more info on this and other topics go to www.thefischers.net


Seriously, go check this shit out.

brickbat's fav parts here and here.

Fucking gold.

More Uncut Palin Vlogs

Angle Of The Dangle

3 For 3

Only 5 more to go to top Mike Spitz for most golds in a single Games.

Raising Michael

Beacon Broadside has an amazing interview with Debbie Phelps, mother of the olympic legend:

When I went to see Debbie, it was evident that I wasn't speaking to just another sports mom. We spoke about a trip she was planning to see Michael swim. Rome or Vienna or someplace similarly distant. She mentioned her own literary project, a book she would be writing about her experiences poolside, a guide to raising a humble, well-adjusted world record holder.

In other ways, I was struck that her story was so utterly unexceptional.

She had three kids, Michael being the youngest. She and her then husband lived in rural Maryland in a home surrounded by five acres. "I got the kids involved in as much as I could: baseball softball, gymnastics, tap, ballet, scouts. Michael was never a scout. But the girls were scouts," she told me.

The family belonged to swim club. Debbie says the main attraction was for her children to learn water safety. She wanted them to conquer any fears early in life. In short order, the two girls were on the club swim team. Then champions. Then dreaming of the Olympics.

The Phelps sisters were such hotshots, a swim club in Baltimore more or less recruited them to join the swim team. Debbie shuttled them to practices with a new baby. Boy Michael spent hours, days, at the pool. "Michael grew up with the smell of chlorine. It was such a natural environment for him," Debbie explained.

Today's Paultard Video

Yes, they still exist. And this one is pretty pissed.

She's mad at the sheeple and the Pope for hoarding his Nazi gold and a bunch of other typical Paultardian complaints about stuff that does not affect those of us who do not live in Second Life.