Craig Stevens Infested With Gay Bed Bugs

Oh noes!!! Our favorite Broadway sodomite has bed bugs, which means he has crabs or crabs with AIDS. Not quite sure yet.

He also got a job and got his George W Bush reparations check, which he promptly spent to go see Clay Aiken in Spamalot.

via Check Craig's Blogg

Needs More Craig Stevens

If you're like us, you were dying to know just how Craig Stevens and his super serious girlfriend were doing.

Here's all you wanted to know about Janine, headshots, NY, Broadway, and faggotry:

Hillary's Throwing A Party And No One's Coming

Proving that Hillary is only supported by old white women, famous British sodomist Elton John is headlining a fundraiser for Sen. Thundercunt. But no one cares:

...when Elton John agreed to host a "one-night only" concert for the Senator, one would think it would be a sold out event.

Campaign aides assure ABC News that orchestra and mezzanine tickets sold out in an hour after they put the tickets online, and only a limited amount of tickets are still available.

But since the initial announcement, the Clinton camp has sent out at least eight nine reminders about the concert, raising some question as to just how available the hottest ticket in town might be.

On March 17th, Hillary Clinton supporters and donors got an email in their inboxes that said "I'm Throwing a Party." It was from Elton John. The campaign also sent out a text message announcing tickets were on sale.

That same day the campaign sent out two emails to reporters announcing the concert.

...Chelsea Clinton then followed up on March 26th with a personal email inviting guests saying, "My mom's campaign is bringing two supporters and their guests to New York on April 9 for both Elton John's one-night-only concert and the party after the concert. It's going to be a great night and a great time."

I've been through this before. We all had those kids in elementary school that no one liked, but the kid didn't know this and assumed everyone wanted to come to their shitty birthday party. Maybe it was the fat Asian or that smelly kid who was just a little too in to Stephen King books.

All I'm saying is that Elton John is a fat Asian and Hillary Clinton is a smelly creep.

I just hope my mom doesn't find out and make me go out of pity.

via ABC

Fucking Hippies

Yesterday, a bunch of stinky whiney hippies decided to protest the Iraq war. Wonkette was on the case:

Simple and subtle. Best of the day. Thank you for drawing this masterpiece of crayon for us, Senator David Vitter. We'll change your diaper shortly.

They also had great coverage of the D.C. clusterfuck here, here, and here.

via Wonkette

Stop The Discrimination

If guys wanna wear next to nothing and do really gay shit, then by God let them:

Even scarier is the situation in San Jose, California, where 18 year-old Kenyon Smith is reportedly one of the best synchronized swimmers in the country [WSJ], despite having testicles!

"Comics think synchro is great material, and when the joke is on a person of the nonfemale sex, it's a sure winner. So let's all laugh at Kenyon Smith, the male synchronized swimmer."

If the article stopped there, we would not be aroused from the warm embrace of our daily status quo. But it goes on to expose Kenyon's tragedy, which is that he cannot win a college scholarship or go to the Olympics, because he practices what is assumed to be a female sport.

His predicament touched our heart! Is it possible that there may be other acceptable venues for male physical movement outside of baseball (the American pastime), football (the more violent American pastime), basketball (the urban American pastime), and heterosexual sexual relations (the acceptable political American pastime)? We must admit that the possibility exists. Although its implications for the Knicks still tear our heart in two. Below, video of Kenyon Smith at work [pic and video via WSJ].



via Gawker

Sally Kern Scrubs Hates America

Remember Sally Kern Scrubs, God's warrior against terrorist gay infants?

Here's a refresher:



Turns out that she has aided and abetted terrorism by being the mother of, quote, "the biggest queen on campus" at Oklahoma Baptist University:

If you compare a March 4th cache and today’s version, you’ll notice that Kern and/or her staff deleted a biographical sentence mentioning her two adult sons, Jesse and Nathan. Obviously our warning bells went off, so we did a little digging and found something quite queer.

Consider comment seventeen on this Tulsa World article: “How come no-one asks this “supposed” christian woman..about her own GAY son? The one she basically has dis-owned…ahh so christian.”

What?! Kern and her Baptist preacher hubbie had a homo? And they disowned him? That’s some Alan Keyes shit…

A little more digital detective work dug up numerous postings naming Jesse as the outcast offspring. One even recalls Jesse’s time at Oklahoma Baptist University, where he was apparently “the biggest queen on campus”:

I find it hilarious that Salacious Sally is such a bigot. Her son Jesse was the biggest queen on the campus of OBU in the mid-90’s. Twice he almost was expelled for making inappropriate advances in the library toilets. When he wasn’t cruising the toilets he was in the glee club and a piano major…there’s your sign.

We must defeat Sally Kern Scrubs and her sleeper cell of sodomites before it's too late.

via Queerty

Soap Operas Just Not Gay Enough

Fans of As the World Turns think so. They say that the show treats the affection of hetero couples on the show differently than sodomites Luke and Noah:

...And the last straw apparently arrived on Valentine's Day, when every other couple but Nuke shared a kiss. They hugged instead. Online fans began a nationwide media blitz on Feb. 20 to bring attention to the show, which has been twice nominated for an award from the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD). 'Presenting a gay couple on television only to relegate them to insulting hugs and slaps on the back is the 21st century version of putting African Americans on the back of the bus,' wrote one disgruntled fan named Tony. 'We're simply supposed to be happy that we got the ride at all. This is 2008, and yet CBS and Procter & Gamble are clearly stuck in the past.' GLAAD media spokesman Damon Romine agreed with them that, 'while tremendous strides have been made on soaps, it's clear that we're not at a place where gay and transgender people are treated the same on daytime as they are on prime-time or cable.'"

They even have a Soap Operas Need More of Teh Gayz Seks website.

Next on the agenda: Making sure that there is atleast one punchfucking game per week on the Price is Right.

via Towleroad