Subway Dude Writes Fancy Poem About Some Transvestite

Failed POTUS candidate and Jester for Jesus, Mike Huckabee, has used his website (it's still up?) to write a poem for Nancy Pelosi.

It fun!!!:


Here's a story about a lady named Nancy
A ruthless politician, but dressed very fancy
Very ambitious, she got herself elected Speaker
But as for keeping secrets, she proved quite a "leaker."

She flies on government planes coast to coast
And doesn't mind that our economy is toast
She makes the Air Force squire her in their military jets
There's room for her family, her staff, and even her pets.

Until now, she annoyed us, but her gaffes were mostly funny;
Even though it was painful to watch her waste our tax money.
But now her wacky comments are no laughing matter;
She's either unwilling to tell the truth, or she's mad as a hatter!

She sat in briefings and knew about enhanced interrogation;
But claims she wasn't there, and can't give an explanation.
She disparages the CIA and says they are a bunch of liars;
Even the press aren't buying it and they're stoking their fires.

I think Speaker Pelosi has done too much speaking;
And instead of her trashing our intelligence officials, it's her nose that needs tweaking.

If forced to believe whether the CIA and her colleagues in Congress are lying;
Or it's Speaker Pelosi whose credibility and career is dying.
I believe in the integrity of the men and women who sacrifice to keep us safe;
Not the woman who has been caught flat-footed, lying to our face.

I say it here and I say it rather clear-
It's time for Nancy Pelosi to resign and get out of here.


Wait. Isn't poetry for the fags?

via CNN

Why Are We Not At CPAC?

Holy shit. This shindig looks like the greatest clusterfuck of all time.

Conservatives Republicans well-connected affluent kid touchers are holding their annual meet and greet, and, honey, did it deliver.

Besides Grover Norquist's Future-Douchebags-Of-'Murica Rainbow Party 2009™, Mittens showed up and used his plus one invite to bring along his ego/shattered ambitions:



Bobby Jindal a young Republican padawan named Jonathan Krohn showed up to talk about Conservatism for the few moments leading up to his GOP hazing, which included the use of chloroform and a giant rubber fist:



Subway Dude was there and got in a few shots at Chris Matthews (easy target) and MSNBC:

First it started with the news media (enemy number one in the conservative crowd), including his cable news competitor, MSNBC, and its host Chris Matthews

"Other news outlets have gotten religion recently," said the now-Fox News host. There is the "Oh God channel", he added, "after Chris Matthews finally realized that there was a God and called him out before Bobby Jindal's speech."

Later he went on to call Matthews station "MSBS." The rest of the media wasn't spared. Nor were members of Congress and the administration. Huckabee called Newsweek Magazine, "ObamaWeek," for its favorable covers and coverage of the president, referred to Obama's treasury secretary as "Turbo Tax Geithner," for his failure to pay portions of his income tax. Reflecting later on his long-held belief that the IRS should be abolished, Huckabee concluded that, if it came true: "We would no longer have a tax cheat running the IRS."

Also, Tucker Carlson was booed and a bunch of "Family Values" voters want to get in on the hot gay sex action.

brickbat is considering actually registering with it's first political party just to attend CPAC 2010. It would sooooooooooooooooo be worth it.

Awww Shucks

Mike Huckabee was also on MTP and apologized for that joke.

Subway dude later warned us that he's got plenty more where that came from, as part of Juan McCain's veep application includes a 500 word essay on memorable quotes from Blazing Saddles.

Subway Dude's Tar Baby

Only Huck would work in a joke about the possible first black POTUS being shot at an NRA speech.

This should come as no surprise. We've seen what the family wouldl do to a dog.

Subway Dude Is Back

Who better to ask questions concerning Jesusery than the King of Christian Iowa and West Viriginia, Mike Huckabee:

An assist from an unexpected quarter:
"[Y]ou can't hold the candidate responsible for everything that people around him may say or do," Huckabee says. "It's interesting to me that there are some people on the left who are having to be very uncomfortable with what ... Wright said, when they all were all over a Jerry Falwell, or anyone on the right who said things that they found very awkward and uncomfortable, years ago. Many times those were statements lifted out of the context of a larger sermon. Sermons, after all, are rarely written word for word by pastors like Rev. Wright, who are delivering them extemporaneously, and caught up in the emotion of the moment. There are things that sometimes get said, that if you put them on paper and looked at them in print, you'd say 'Well, I didn't mean to say it quite like that.'"

Later, he defended Wright's anger, too:

"As easy as it is for those of us who are white to look back and say 'That's a terrible statement!' ... I grew up in a very segregated South. And I think that you have to cut some slack -- and I'm gonna be probably the only conservative in America who's gonna say something like this, but I'm just tellin' you -- we've gotta cut some slack to people who grew up being called names..."


Here's the video:



via Ben Smith

Elderly Panamanian Juan McCain Ineligible to be President

The NY Times has once again proven they hate freedom. In an article published today, they bring up the question of whether or not WALNUTS! is eligible to be our 44th great-great-grandfather president:

Mr. McCain’s likely nomination as the Republican candidate for president and the happenstance of his birth in the Panama Canal Zone in 1936 are reviving a musty debate that has surfaced periodically since the founders first set quill to parchment and declared that only a “natural-born citizen” can hold the nation’s highest office.

...Mr. McCain was born on a military installation in the Canal Zone, where his mother and father, a Navy officer, were stationed. His campaign advisers say they are comfortable that Mr. McCain meets the requirement and note that the question was researched for his first presidential bid in 1999 and reviewed again this time around.

Is this the miracle Subway dude has been waiting for?

via NY Times

Subway Dude's Diet Secrets

or

What not to say when running for President 101

Huckabee/Hinn 08

Remember that story about the Jeebus-hating Senate Finance Committee investigating Kenneth Copeland and all his friends for siphoning money from blue hairs, but Copeland refused to cooperate?

Well that didn't stop the Subway dude from holding a fundraiser at Kenneth Copeland Ministries' campus:

A Christian nonprofit says a Texas televangelist turned a national ministers' gathering last week into a fundraising opportunity for Republican presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee, a newspaper reports.

The Trinity Foundation, a charity that monitors televangelists and viewed a live Internet broadcast of the event, said the fundraiser took in $111,000 and generated pledges nearing $1 million, the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette reported in a copyrighted article Tuesday.

And what did Huck have to say on MTP?



Makes you really long for the days of Mittens' Space Jeebus.

via Tulsa World

Rambo to Kick Ranger Walker's Ass

Awsomeness Overload

via Wonkette

Jeebus to Kick Muhammad's Ass

One interesting aspect of the GOP nomination race is the tough guy competition (which thank Gawd replaces the swimsuit competition).

Mccain will follow UBL to "the gates of hell."




But look out WALNUTS! King of Iowa Christians and Subway enthusiast Mike Huckabee wants to be a little more inclusive in his useless rhetoric:

Asked whether the American commanders on the scene were right in not attacking the Iranian boats, Mr Huckabee said he backed their decisions, before warning Iran: "Be prepared, first, to put your sights on the American vessel. And then be prepared that the next thing you see will be the gates of Hell, because that is exactly what you will see after that."


Huck also added that his son David will be sent to Iran to hang every canine.

via Times Online