Showing posts with label roundhouse kicks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label roundhouse kicks. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Checkin' In With Chuck



Looke everybody! Chuck Norris has written another Jesus infomercial for the Mexican snuff webpamphlet WorldNetDaily. This time, it's about how much our Muslin Kraken POTUS hates all things Baby Jeebus. Let's check it out!!!!!:


Obama has been in office 100 days, and last week U.S. News & World Report commemorated the occasion by documenting what it considers to be his "Ten most important Obama faith moments."

Without defining what "most important" and "faith moment" mean, U.S. News & World Report clearly shows its thesis and thrust in the column with this sentence: "Barack Obama has embraced faith in a more visible way than any other president in recent memory."

With a statement like that, the top 10 list must be rock-solid faith stimulators, right? You decide. Here is its list of 10 and my thoughts on each.

1. Rick Warren's Inauguration Day invocation

Despite what you think of Pastor Warren, his participation in Obama's inauguration was a gutsy move for any left-leaning president. I'll grant Obama and U.S. News & World Report that inclusion as a definite significant "faith moment," though maybe (as I've already discussed in a previous column) not for all the right reasons.

2. Granting first TV interview to Arabic Language Network

I would call that more of a "diplomatic moment" than a "faith moment," despite that a majority of the Arab world is Muslim. Obama has stated, "My job to the Muslim world is to communicate that the Americans are not your enemy." But is that his exclusive message? Is that the message he wants to send to our enemies?

3. Reversing Mexico City Policy on family planning providers abroad

Since when is subsidizing other nations with federal funds to provide more abortions a "faith moment"? That is one of the most ridiculous additions of the bunch, second to No. 7 or No. 8. If U.S. News & World Report regards increasing international abortions among its "faith moments," then it has overlooked another half dozen pro-choice decisions Obama's administration has made, like several key appointments of pro-choice leaders.

...7. Joe Biden's receiving ashes on Ash Wednesday

With all respect to Biden, to think that the vice president's participation in Lenten church services is classified among the 10 most important faith moments of Barack Obama borders on comical.

...8. Lifting restrictions on federally funded embryonic stem cell research

Like No. 3 on expanding international abortions, to include the lifting of restrictions for federally funded embryonic stem cell research among Obama's top 10 "most important faith moments" is ludicrous. Obama himself said, "As a person of faith, I believe we are called to care for each other and work to ease human suffering." Apparently that doesn't apply to life in the womb.

...If my math is correct regarding the U.S. News & World Report column, the preceding "10 most important Obama faith moments" include: 1) Two encouraging Muslim relations and religion around the world, 2) two extending and increasing terminations of human life in the womb, 3) one non-religious speaking engagement at a university, 4) two acts promoting community development, 5) seven events that included invocations, 5) and one about the sight of religious soot on the forehead of the vice president.

Makes me wonder what U.S. News & World Report means by "most important" and "faith moment." "Most important" for whom? U.S. News & World Report? The Left? And what does "faith moment" mean? "Religious moment"? "Secular moment"? "Muslim moment"?



How did this guy qualify as a "writer", again?

via WND

Friday, June 20, 2008

Chuck Norris Wants To Drill America (gross)



We all know Mike Huckabee's BFF is a blogger. But now, Chuck Norris is a vlogger.

Hooray!!!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

What's Up With Chuck?



As previously reported, Chuck Norris is a christian ninja blogger over at Townhall.

Here's Tuesday's post, entitled If I Am Elected Vice President:

It really doesn't matter whose presidential ticket I ride on as vice president because America will be a Chucktatorship when I step into office. If I am elected vice president, I promise to fulfill these pledges unilaterally within my first 30 days in office:

-- If I win on McCain's ticket, consider the Middle Eastern wars over. Our enemies are toast.

-- If I win on Hillary's ticket, I promise you that Bill will stay out of the Oval Office and on his Total Gym. If he argues with me, I will put him on latrine duty throughout the whole White House.

-- If I win on Obama's ticket, I will appoint Barack to be co-editor (with Oprah) of my new political magazine, "Uh-O!"

...-- I personally will secure all of our borders by running my new reality television program, "Walker, Texas Robocop."

-- For some humor and entertainment, the Supreme Court justices will be among the competitors in the championship of my World Combat League. The final match will be conservative Alito against liberal Breyer. May the best man … or justice … win! That should be hilarious!

-- During the next four World Series and Super Bowls, "The Star-Spangled Banner" will be sung by the Rev. Jeremiah Wright (in 2/4 time).

...-- I will erect two additional terrorist-deterring national monuments to two of my favorite movie stars and heroes: John Wayne and Charlton Heston. These monuments will be known collectively as "The Smith & Wesson Memorials." (Of course, Heston's will have a three-story high Ten Commandments fountain in the center.)



Dear Chuck,

Please go back to acting. Your blog makes our eyes hurt.

Thanks,

brickbat

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Chuck Norris Wants To Cut Lesbians' Noses



Famous literary figure and friend of Baby Jeebus, Chuck Norris, writes a blog for Townhall. Today's installment did not disappoint:

Is encouraging or teaching about homosexuality what our Founders expected for the public education system they started? Even the most liberal among them opposed it. For example, Thomas Jefferson drafted a bill concerning the criminal laws of Virginia, in which he proposed that the penalty for sexual deviance should be unique corporal punishment. Jefferson's views were indeed representative of early America:

"Whosoever shall be guilty of Rape, Polygamy, or Sodomy with man or woman shall be punished, if a man, by castration, if a woman, by cutting thro' the cartilage of her nose a hole of one half inch diameter at the least." Can you imagine a statesman proposing such a law today?


No Chuck, I can't. That was over 200 years ago, when Juan McCain first ran for the Continental Congress.

That and the fact you probably just made it up.

Next week's post should be great. I heard it's about the time that Chuck, Hillary Clinton, and Thomas Jefferson made a daring visit to Middle-Earth while ducking sniper fire.

via Townhall

Monday, March 17, 2008

Kos to Hilltards: STFU



Hilltard bloggers at the Daily Kos (a site you will never find me reading) are going on a strike. They're claiming bias and abuse at the site just because of their support the evil Lesbot Thundercunt.

Kos fires back:


Meanwhile, Clinton and her shrinking band of paranoid holdouts wail and scream about all those evil people who have "turned" on Clinton and are no longer "honest power brokers" or "respectable voices" or whatnot, wearing blinders to reality, talking about silly little "strikes" when in reality, Clinton is planning a far more drastic, destructive and dehabilitating civil war.

People like me have two choices -- look the other way while Clinton attempts to ignite her civil war, or fight back now, before we cross that dangerous line. Honestly, it wasn't a difficult choice. And it's clear, looking at where the super delegates, most bloggers, and people like Olbermann are lining up, that the mainstream of the progressive movement is making the same choice.

And the more super delegates see what is happening, and what Clinton has in store, the more imperative it is that they line up behind Obama and put an end to it before it's too late.


via Daily Kos