Westboro Not Going Anywhere According To Crazy Rant On Site

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About a month ago, Towleroad speculated about a Westboro Baptist Church mass suicide because of a cryptic blog entry that went a little something like this:

We are particularly urgent about it, because the time is shortly to come when we will grant you your wicked wish, Doomed america! Your smart-assed pundits and foul-mouthed politicians have for years told us to pack up and leave if we don’t like this filthy little cancerous boil on the butt of the earth. You all think you’re so clever that you can come up with such cutesy little quips. You’re collectively so Bible dumb that you don’t know what you’re saying. So let me help you out.

...We gotta go, peeps! We gotta go! And when we do, it’s time for this filthy nation to receive of all the plagues that your Creator has promised. The reason there is such urgency in those words … such passion in the irresistible call from our Saviour, Husband, and Friend … is because when that time comes for this rebellious nation – which is spiritually called Babylon and has become literally Babylon by the inexplicable and forcible snatching of that Mesopotamian land where ancient Babylon sat – it is going to be very fast and very violent, such that all mankind is utterly and simply amazed.


Alas, this is not the case. Atleast according to Westboro's blog section in an email answering session:

A few web sites are claiming you guys are going to do a mass suicide because of the April 4 field report. What do you think about waht they’re saying? Here are some excerpts:

From Gossip Boy:
A cryptic blog post on the Westboro Baptist Churchs website hints that their mission is coming to an end, as full darkness invades America, and they are ready to end their fight and depart. Generally, when cults start talking this way, someone is in the kitchen mixing up Kool Aid.

From Towleroad:
Fred Phelps’ Westboro Baptist Church recently left a blog post that has some wondering if the extremist group is planning a mass suicide (a la Jonestown). A little excerpt from the post (link goes to WBC blog) written in their typical hag-alect:

Kansas Watch:
But in today’s posting on Fred Phelps’ and family’s blog, they kind of sound like they are planning to leave this mortal coil.

Justin


And the answer:


I say first: This is wishful thinking and standard slander. It means nothing.

I say second: I am late in responding because I was at K-State picketing General David Patraeus. If you check out our schedule of coming pickets (in less than 12 hours I hit the road for Hartford, CT and Cambridge/Boston, MA) - that schedule is almost enough to make me tired just looking at it. My point being - WHY NOW would anyone think that we would do anything as disobedient and lawless as murder?

I say third: That excellent field report says nothing different than we have been telling you for a long time. Today our exit out of this country feels closer than it has in the past. The truth of the matter is that GOD, IN HIS WORD, says he gave those examples in the scriptures FOR OUR EXAMPLE and FOR OUR LEARNING and FOR OUR COMFORT, it says, upon whom the ends of the world have come. There is a VAST body of scripture that speaks to these last hours of the last days of all. So even as Noah preached to the world and THEN GOT ON THE ARK JUST BEFORE THEIR DESTRUCTION CAME, the Doomed Ante-diluvium world and even as LOT preached to and then LEFT Doomed Sodom et al, and their destruction came and likewise when Moses and the Children of Israel PREACHED TO and then LEFT Egypt at which point God destroyed the MOST POWERFUL ARMY in the world in that day (from which Egypt NEVER recovered), etc. etc., we preach to Doomed america. Now, there are three things we hear from brutish Doomed americans, and in this order, to wit: 1. God loves everyone; 2. There is NO God and 3. If you don’t like america . . . if america is Doomed . . . if you think we are this or that, etc. . . . THAN GET THE F#@& OUT!!

SWEET!

...That 144,000 Jews are going to put away the lies of the house of Israel about Christ and who he is and so forth, and they are going to serve God in truth, and WE are going to help them! YAY!! Stay tuned Justin! The day is coming when you will see the flip of what Paul did. He told those stiff-necked and rebellious Jews that he was DONE with them, that God had sent him now to the Gentiles to call out a people for his name, and at Romans 11, Paul makes it CRYSTAL clear that when the fullness of the Gentiles be come in, that God is going to return to the Jews and save a remnant of them and that day is fast approaching! I cannot tell you how thankful I will be when we are through talking to this nation of truly STUPID rebels against God (and you have NO cause!).

We have a most glorious new task, and it is going to be amazing. There are going to be two things that those Jews are going to do in response to this call that we are going to put forth now, WITH a vengeance (you know we will ) and so we must look to the scriptures to see it. Because those Jews are likened by the prophet Jeremiah to Figs - REALLY GOOD figs or REALLY, REALLY BAD or EVIL figs - SO BAD AND EVIL that you cannot eat them or you will die! Plus - the beat the crap out of Paul and at one point they left him for dead and HELLO, THEY KILLED CHRIST!! Our personal experience with them is that they are mean and vicious and violent!!

...Now I must ask you - WHY IN THIS WORLD would we consider anything short of running to this battle as FAST as our little legs will carry us!!

As for that cryptic lie - YIKES!! We are about as plain spoken as words can be - GOD HATES FAGS AND THEIR ENABLERS . . . . . . . . . . . . .THEREFORE . . . . . . . . . . . . . america IS DOOMED!!! YAY!!!

Thanks!


Wow. Just.....wow.