Inbred Shit-troll Waddles Her Way To Washington

Westboro Baptist Church sent their members a-wassailing to the White House to express their anger against the Muslin Devil, Barack Obama. The group was led by the daughter of reknowned gay fisting porn star, Fred Phelps.

From Towleroad:


Shirley Phelps-Roper and a contingent from the Westboro Baptist Church paid a visit to the White House yesterday to pray for God to shortly destroy the "antichrist" Barack Obama. They were met by counter-protestors who far outnumbered them, according to Campus Progress.


One question: Where can we buy one of those awesome purple hoodies?

Here's some more video funnery from the event:

brickbat May Have Legit Excuse For Binge Drinking/Debauchery

via Wunderground

Westboro Flamer Update

Ohhhhh yes. Whomever started this little garage fire thing will now feel the wrath of Fred Phelps and his army of homosexual homophobes.




Let's check out their blog:

DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE FIRE
AT WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH
THE FIRE YOU NEED TO BE WORRIED ABOUT IS THE ONE COMING OUT OF GOD’S NOSTRILS –
THAT STREAM HAS A BEAD ON DOOMED AMERICA
AND THE FIRE YOU NEED TO BE WORRIED ABOUT IS THE ONE THAT IS KINDLED BY GOD’S BREATH FOR ETERNITY – THAT STREAM HAS A BEAD ON YOU!

THANK GOD FOR THE CRIMINAL ARSONIST!
OUR WORDS COME AT YOU LIKE A SWORD ON FIRE!
YOU CAN NOT BREAK OFF THESE BONDS!
CHECK IT OUT NOW DOPEY DOOMED AMERICA:
YOU ALSO CAN NOT BURN OFF THESE BONDS!

YOU’RE PLAYING WITH FIRE – AND IT’S A FIRE YOUR FIREFIGHTERS CAN NOT PUT OUT!

THIS MAKES US SO HAPPY!

...You foolish rebels. When will you learn?

Speaking of learning, you learned that stupidity from Baltimore.

The Baltimore case inspired criminal arsonists. Ironically the arsonist tried to burn the very property those Baltimore haters want to try to take.

Speaking of learning, when will you get this through your thick disobedient heads: What you try to do to the people of God and his church, God will do to you. Now you can expect God to send fire from heaven and burn your “churches” (whore houses and dog kennels).

Apparently you are slow learners. Over six thousands lightening strikes – THAT’S FIRE DUMMIES – from God’s hand in California. You’re still playing with fire!

(Today a team of faithful watchers are on the ground in California, picketing the funeral of the dead fag in Sanoma County who was the first to get "married" in that county. Now the butt buddy is dead – at age 37, 37 days after the fag marriage license went forth. Some media mutt said his death was “shocking.” Are you kidding me? That was so predictable it’s painful! You’re playing with fire you arrogant asses! Our God doeth all things well. Besides which, he also has quite a sense of humor and irony. )

Psst! God still hates fags. America is still doomed. God still hates the world. Your acts of arson have changed exactly nothing.

In summary, Baby Jesus hates fags blah blah blah and Fred Phelps will live for 1000 years the end.

FAIL

A garage near the Westboro Baptist Church, which is a church for homosexuals, caught fire and almost burned the place to the ground.

Guess we'll just have to wait for the Youtube upload when Fred Phelps lands in hell.

From Towleroad:

A fire broke out near a garage on the property of Fred Phelps' Westboro Baptist Church early on Saturday morning. In footage posted online, the church's anti-gay picket signs can be seen stacked in the garage. Phelps released a video later that day blaming the fire on "fags" or "fag sympathizers". Then he blamed it on the judges, the "unfaithful devils in black robes" who refuse to enforce the law when crimes are committed against the WBC. And don't forget the "filthy, fag-riddled military."

A 91-year-old neighbor of the church says she believes it was an elaborate attempt by the Church itself to scare her into selling her property, which she says they've been trying to do for years.

Said Leona McQueen: “They keep claiming that this property is theirs, and it is not theirs. They keep wanting to buy me, but I don't want to sell it. I don't know if whether they are trying to push me out. I don't know."

Said: Shirley Phelps-Roper said: "It's a ridiculous accusation. The fire was started by someone as we slept. Thankfully the lord our god keeps us in all our ways. The noise that they made the fire was so big and voluminous the popping and cracking woke people up."

Al Sharpton Is Not Anderson's Boo

It started with a discussion on AC360 about James Dobson's crazy fruitcake rant about St. Barack. Then this awkward exchange between Al Sharpton and our Anderson Cooper:

As the three debated Evangelicals and the issues of homosexuality, HIV and AIDS, abortion, and religious tolerance, the conversation took a turn when Sharpton pointed out that Anderson may land in Hell for his behavior, whatever that might be...

Says Sharpton: "I may have some very conservative personal feelings but I feel you have the right to live your life differently. I may think that what you do Anderson is gonna put you in Hell, but I'm gonna defend your right to get there."

Answered Anderson: "I appreciate all your concerns about my afterlife. I'm personally not all that concerned, but that's a whole other discussion."




via Towleroad

Albatrosses Are Going To Hell Too

From Science Daily:

On the island of Oahu, in Hawaii, 31% of nests are female-female pairs. Female pairs raise fewer chicks than male-female pairs, but given the shortage of males, fewer chicks are better than none. Since albatross can only raise one chick each year, females stay together for multiple years for each to reproduce. This unusual strategy may explain why Laysan Albatross are successfully re-colonizing islands.

Unrelated same-sex individuals pairing together and cooperating to raise offspring over many years is a rare occurrence in the animal kingdom. Cooperative breeding, in which animals help raise offspring that are not their own, is often attributed to kin selection when individuals are related, or altruism when individuals are unrelated.

via Sully

Today's Godtube Moment

Grand Theft Auto Destroying American Families

From Jockhomo:

Who or rather what doesn’t appear in the new version of Grand Theft Auto, true to form the game is even hitting the gay demographic. No, big bruiser Niko Bellic is not gay but rather disturbingly plays a homosexual lothario on an online dating site to lure a gay Irish American mobster. Damn, my ears perked up regarding the gay sequence, but surprise the play is handled brilliantly and with a great deal of humor thanks to acclaimed screenwriter Shane Black (Lethal Weapon, The Last Boyscout and The Long Kiss Goodnight). Per usual players can choose not to complete certain missions; i.e. main character Niko benefits later from a friendship formed with the gay mobster. Remember you’re playing an apocalyptic adult game where no demographic remains unscathed. While GTAIV walks a precarious line I have to give Rockstar Games props for not defaulting to the usual homophobic sequence filled with stereotypes.

Panama Shitty News Herald Needs Enima

The Panama City News Herald editorial staff (shown above) have done it again.

If Exhibits A, B, C, and D were not sufficient evidence to convince you that the "paper" was run by incompetent fucktards, here's the semen stained dress:

“Woo! Spring Break. Woo!”

The shout is one of the most familiar sounds on Panama City Beach in March.

It can be heard emanating from off-road vehicles overflowing with passengers and inside nightclubs as local and national bands prepare to play. It’s the first sign of an afternoon of fun in the sun and the final gasp of a night that has lasted two drinks too long.

However, while most spring breakers have heard it, defining “Woo!” is a tricky task.

“I think it means everybody’s drunk,” said 19-year-old Hillary Renecker, a University of Akron student.

So, yeh. An entire thread dedicated to solving the burning question on everyone's mind: What does "Woo!" mean.

Wait, wait, wait........you knew there was a video, right?



Panama City News Herald: When reading Highlights for Children is just a little too confusing.

via Panama Shitty News Herald

Hookhand Monster for Senate

I know it's way wrong to find this funny, but it is. Steve Novick is running for US Senate in Oregon. He's 4'9" and has a steel hook for a left hand.

Following is the baddestass campaign video EVER. See you all in hell:





via novickforsenate.com