BREAKING NEWS: Noone Wants To Fuck Perez Hilton

No shit.

From Gawker:

The Los Angeles Times interviewed internet gossip belcher Perez Hilton for the "How I Made It" feature in its business section. The newspaper does its best to puff Hilton up, saying he charges "up to" $54,000 for a one-day ad package and noting he once wrote for Star magazine — without mentioning that Hilton was fired from that same job, per the LA Times' own reporting. The not-so-subtle message to readers: If this guy in bunny slippers can make $50k per day off his crayon-illustrated website, why is the recession kicking your ass? That's OK, since Hilton takes himself down a peg, by talking about his sex life:

What fame hasn't brought: Hilton dishes that "in 2007, I got laid once. One time. Which, for a gay man, is unheard of. That's like, celibate."

How sad and cringe-inducing. But maybe Perez just got way too picky after his 2006 makeout session with John Mayer. He had at least one really, really desperate groupie sending him a sex tape and everything! Now is no time to start holding yourself to "standards" or whatever, Perez.

Perez Hilton: Bigtime Perv

Normally, I would avoid any story pertaining to the walking abortion known as Perez Hilton. But this is just too good:

Sad, lonely gay gossip columnist Perez Hilton (née Mario Lavandeira) would like to help you, young up-and-coming (and male, definitely male) gossip writer, so long as you send him sex videos of yourself masturbating and doing other filthy stuff. Oh, and then he, uh, won't actually help you. That's what happened to poor Jonathan Jaxson, a peppy young upstart who was promised a bountiful cornucopia of gossip and sssssecrets so long as Perez got the sexy home movies right away.

..." Evidently Perez did get the videos from Jaxson, but then never sent any information over or helped him out in anyway. "I fell in love with Perez. I thought he had a huge heart . . . but he's just a asshole," the broken hearted Jaxon tells Page Six (we're assuming the "ass", P6 just said "bleep"). Oh... It's just devastating, blog buddies! [P6] After the jump, a couple of videos of Jaxson, who is exactly as depressing as you'd expect

After watching said videos, I really don't feel sorry for Jaxson. Seems like he pretty much had it coming, maybe worse. If for nothing else, for using the term "blog buddies".






via Gawker