Water Droplets

Water Droplets © Frank H. Jump

Fading Ad's Frank Jump breaks in the new USB Microscope.

via Fading Ad

The Fuck Did You Just Say To Me?

Wow.

Here's an interview with Rachel Maddow by George Wayne (DISCLAIMER: THIS GUY IS FUCKING CREEPY) of Vanity Fair:



Anyway, Miss “Cable Queen,” as Vogue calls you, do you suffer from any paraphilia?
Paraphilia?

Listen to this saucy pedant. Paraphilia is having a rare erotic fetish. Perhaps you may indulge in eproctophilia?
Duh?

Darling! Eproctophiliacs are those sexually turned on by farts and farting!
That word actually exists?

It is the current rage of Mayfair high society in jolly, kinky London. G.W. will admit to his Caesarophilia—erotic fascination with royalty. Especially that redhead Prince Harry. G.W. has been fantasizing more than ever of tossing that royal salad. I would floss every strand of that red burr to perfection!
He did just break up with his girlfriend.

Exactly. Prince Harry is single and now ready for his bi-flingual.
He’s getting a little tummy.

At least he’s not losing all his hair like William. By the way, before your Peacock Network makeover, didn’t you have a dyke-stache?
A what?

Facial hair over your lip—a dyke-stache.
I never had any facial hair in my life.

Thank you for that clarification, darling. And thank you for such a wonderful meeting!


via HuffBlow

Congratulations, Gents. Bristol's Back On The Market

If you were planning on a quick stop by Cracker Barrel's gift shop, turn the car around. Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston have cancelled their wedding registry and are splitting up.

Yesterday, Star Magazine reported that the two snowbillies called it quits:

The teen love affair that rocked last year's presidential race is over.
Sarah Palin's daughter, Bristol, has ditched her baby daddy, Levi Johnston!

Now's Levi's sister, Mercede is telling all exclusively to Star and the picture she paints of life in Wasilla, Alaska is not a pretty one. Bristol, 18, has virtually cut Levi out of the life of their two-month-old son Tripp.

"Levi tries to visit Tripp every single day, but Bristol makes it nearly impossible. She tells him he can't take the baby to our house because she doesn't want him around 'white trash'!" Bristol won't even allow him to watch the baby for a few hours -- unless he's babysitting!

The worst part, Mercede continues, is that the former vice presidential candidate supports Bristol's treatment of Levi, 19. "I used to love Sarah," Mercede says sadly. "But I've lost lots of respect for her."


The AP has confirmed the story:

Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin, the teenage daughter of Gov. Sarah Palin, have broken off their engagement, he said Wednesday, about 2 1/2 months after the couple had a baby. Johnston, 19, told The Associated Press that he and 18-year-old Bristol Palin mutually decided "a while ago" to end their relationship. He declined to elaborate as he stood outside his family's home in Wasilla, about 40 miles north of Anchorage.

He also said some details of the breakup, rumors of which had been swirling on the Internet, were inaccurate.

Bristol Palin said in a statement that she was devastated about a report on Star magazine's Web site that quoted Levi's sister, Mercede, as saying Bristol "makes it nearly impossible" to visit the teenagers' infant son, Tripp. The baby was born Dec. 27.

"Unfortunately, my family has seen many people say and do many things to `cash in' on the Palin name," said the statement, which was issued through the governor's political action committee. "Sometimes that greed clouds good judgment and the truth."


In summary: Joe the plumber is stoked that he has a shot at marrying in to the Palin clan and we're stoked we saved the receipts for the "His and Her" camo towels and that case of Natty we bought as wedding gifts.

Everyone Throwing Michael Steele Under The Back Of The Bus

Jesus, this guy can't get a break.

The first black RNC chair is under fire by basically every white Republican in the country.

First, they didn't take kindly to his idea of talking to brown people. Then, they didn't like his use of the intertubes. Oh, and that skirmish he had with the bloated, over-medicated douche nozzle.

Now, he's really screwed he pooch by telling GQ, a magazine for closeted men, that abortion should be a decision left to Americans with lady parts:


How much of your pro-life stance, for you, is informed not just by your Catholic faith but by the fact that you were adopted?
Oh, a lot. Absolutely. I see the power of life in that—I mean, and the power of choice! The thing to keep in mind about it… Uh, you know, I think as a country we get off on these misguided conversations that throw around terms that really misrepresent truth.

Explain that.
The choice issue cuts two ways. You can choose life, or you can choose abortion. You know, my mother chose life. So, you know, I think the power of the argument of choice boils down to stating a case for one or the other.

Are you saying you think women have the right to choose abortion?
Yeah. I mean, again, I think that’s an individual choice.

You do?
Yeah. Absolutely.


Earlier in the article, while still stating he doesn't believe in marriage rights for sodomists, they're cool people and it's not their fault they'll spend an eternity in the Lake of Fire:

Let’s talk about gay marriage. What’s your position?
Well, my position is, hey, look, I have been, um, supportive of a lot of my friends who are gay in some of the core things that they believe are important to them. You know, the ability to be able to share in the information of your partner, to have the ability to—particularly in times of crisis—to manage their affairs and to help them through that as others—you know, as family members or others—would be able to do. I just draw the line at the gay marriage. And that’s not antigay, no. Heck no! It’s just that, you know, from my faith tradition and upbringing, I believe that marriage—that institution, the sanctity of it—is reserved for a man and a woman. That’s just my view. And I’m not gonna jump up and down and beat people upside the head about it, and tell gays that they’re wrong for wanting to aspire to that, and all of that craziness. That’s why I believe that the states should have an opportunity to address that issue.

So you think it’s a state issue?
Absolutely. Just as a general principle, I don’t like mucking around with the Constitution. I’m sorry, I just don’t. I think, you know, in a pluralistic, dynamic society as the one that we have, every five years you can have a constitutional convention about something, you know? I don’t think we should be, you know, dancing around and trying to amend it every time I’ve got a social issue or a political issue or a business issue that I want to get addressed. Having said that, I think that the states are the best laboratory, the best place for those decisions to be made, because they will then reflect the majority of the community in which the issue is raised. And that’s exactly what a republic is all about.

Do you think homosexuality is a choice?
Oh, no. I don’t think I’ve ever really subscribed to that view, that you can turn it on and off like a water tap. Um, you know, I think that there’s a whole lot that goes into the makeup of an individual that, uh, you just can’t simply say, oh, like, “Tomorrow morning I’m gonna stop being gay.” It’s like saying, “Tomorrow morning I’m gonna stop being black.”


As expected, the Klan didn't care for these remarks at all:

Steele drew fire from activists Thursday morning for his remarks.

"I think it is very troubling for a public figure, of either party, particularly one who presents himself as pro-life, to describe the abortion issue as being a matter of 'individual choice,'" That is language straight out of Planned Parenthood's messaging playbook," said Charmaine Yoest, the president and CEO of Americans United for Life Action, who said she hadn't heard from the RNC. "There are millions of pro-life Americans, Republican and Democrat, who are looking for leadership on the life issue and they will find Mr. Steele's comments disturbing and demoralizing."

Another anti-abortion activist and sharp critic of President Barack Obama on the subject, Jill Stanek, was even blunter.

"Michael Steele has just unmistakably proclaimed himself to be pro-choice," she said in an email. "You thought he was 'embattled' last week over his Limbaugh comment? Ha. He has now stepped both feet into it."


This forced Steele to backtrack:

I am pro-life, always have been, always will be.

I tried to present why I am pro life while recognizing that my mother had a "choice" before deciding to put me up for adoption. I thank her every day for supporting life. The strength of the pro life movement lies in choosing life and sharing the wisdom of that choice with those who face difficult circumstances. They did that for my mother and I am here today because they did. In my view Roe vs. Wade was wrongly decided and should be repealed. I realize that there are good people in our party who disagree with me on this issue.

But the Republican Party is and will continue to be the party of life. I support our platform and its call for a Human Life Amendment. It is important that we stand up for the defenseless and that we continue to work to change the hearts and minds of our fellow countrymen so that we can welcome all children and protect them under the law.


Now it's rumored that Katon Dawson, the elderly Grand Wizard who came in second to Steele, is organizing a no confidence vote for next week:

Republican insiders tell Political Wire that a no confidence vote on RNC Chairman Michael Steele is likely to be called after the NY-20 special election on March 31 -- regardless of whether Republicans win the seat or not.

Katon Dawson, who came in second in the January RNC vote, is said to be quietly organizing a vote and is getting the support of several state party chairmen who want to dump Steele.


This will probably work and brickbat will have no further interesting stories about the RNC chair because he will be replaced by a boring white guy.

Sigh.

Why We Watch Hardball: Reason 15,623

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

If you don't have time to watch the whole deal, here's one of the highlights:

Today's Godtube/tangle Moment

What will actually happen when the Son of Gawd comes back to Earth for the Raptures?

Mexicans will be left behind with no toilet paper as Lord Xenu barrels down from Heaven astride Shadowfax to date rape Christians, leaving their clothes on the ground for the rest of us to clean up.

Asshole.

via tangle

Checkin' In With Chuck

Taking a page from the Paultard playbook, WorldNetDaily hitman Chuck Norris mulls the idea of a Texas secession. And guess who would be president? Chuck Norris:

On Glenn Beck's radio show last week, I quipped in response to our wayward federal government, "I may run for president of Texas."

That need may be a reality sooner than we think. If not me, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star state, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state.

From the East Coast to the "Left Coast," America seems to be moving further and further from its founders' vision and government.

...Thomas Jefferson counseled us, "We must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt." Yet the Feds have just skyrocketed our national deficit and debt by trillions of dollars, and it plans much more fiscal expansion with few expectations of resistance. Despite that George Washington admonished, "To contract new debts is not the way to pay for old ones," we keep borrowing and bailing, while we watch the stock market plunge further every time we do.

...Patrick Henry taught that, "Our Constitution is … an instrument for its people to restrain the government." Yet our Congress and president stampede that founding document, overlook its explicitness and manipulate its words to abandon a balance of power and accommodate their own desires, partisan politics and runaway spending.


Whoa. It's like the Doctor Congressman L. Ron Paultard has possessed the body of Chuck.

It gets better worse:

When I appeared on Glenn Beck's radio show, he told me that someone had asked him, "Do you really believe that there is going to be trouble in the future?" And he answered, "If this country starts to spiral out of control and Mexico melts down or whatever, if it really starts to spiral out of control, before America allows a country to become a totalitarian country (which it would have under I think the Republicans as well in this situation; they were taking us to the same place, just slower), Americans won't stand for it. There will be parts of the country that will rise up." Then Glenn asked me and his listening audience, "And where's that going to come from?" He answered his own question, "Texas, it's going to come from Texas. Do you agree with that Chuck?" I replied, "Oh yeah!" Definitely.

It was these types of thoughts that led me to utter the tongue-n-cheek frustration on Glenn Beck's radio show, "I may run for president of Texas!"

I'm not saying that other states won't muster the gumption to stand and secede, but Texas has the history to prove it. As most know, Texas was its own country before it joined the Union as its 28th state. From 1836 to 1846, Texas was its own Republic. Washington-on-the-Brazos (river) served as our Philadelphia, Pa. It was there, on March 2, 1836, where a band of patriots forged the Texas Declaration of Independence. (We just celebrated these dates last week.)

...As Sam Houston once said, "Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may."

Just last Friday, the Alamo celebrated its 173rd commemoration, when on March 6, 1836, Texans under Col. William B. Travis were overcome by the Mexican army after a two-week siege at the Alamo in San Antonio. But they didn't go down without a hell-of-a-fight, as those roughly 145 Texans fought to their dying breaths against more than 2,000 Mexican forces under Gen. Santa Anna. (Casualties in the battle were 189 Texans vs. about 1,600 Mexicans.) They lost that battle, but would provide the inspiration to win the war. Their fighting spirit rallied the new-found republic, and still does to this day. So when you think all is lost in America, remember the Alamo!

For those losing hope, and others wanting to rekindle the patriotic fires of early America, I encourage you to join Fox News' Glenn Beck, me and millions of people across the country in the live telecast, "We Surround Them," on Friday afternoon (March 13 at 5 p.m. ET, 4 p.m. CT and 2 p.m. PST). Thousands of cell groups will be united around the country in solidarity over the concerns for our nation. You can host or attend a viewing party by going to Glenn's website. My wife Gena and I will be hosting one from our Texas ranch, in which we've invited many family members, friends and law enforcement to join us. It's our way of saying "We're united, we're tired of the corruption, and we're not going to take it anymore!"

Again, Sam Houston put it well when he gave the marching orders, "We view ourselves on the eve of battle. We are nerved for the contest, and must conquer or perish. It is vain to look for present aid: None is at hand. We must now act or abandon all hope! Rally to the standard, and be no longer the scoff of mercenary tongues! Be men, be free men, that your children may bless their father's name."


Chuck Norris is a secret Mexican Paultard.

Suck It, Blindy.

You too, faker.

Lambo raped the stage and every other contestant on Idol last night.

Also, here's an LA Times article from a few days ago touching on the Adam Lambert gay boyfriend thingy:

There's been some joking on various websites that this year's most flamboyant front-runner, Adam Lambert, will perform Jackson's early '90s hit "In the Closet" as a response to recently leaked photographs of him kissing a man and dressed in glamour-queen drag.

...The closet metaphor most often applies to hidden homosexual identities, and that's certainly a hot button issue for "Idol." The show has drawn its own curtain around apparently gay contestants over the years. So far, Lambert has been as matter-of-fact about his orientation as possible without actually uttering the word "gay" on camera. He's poised, doing his little dance around a major aspect of his private life; he's not the first to have to do so.

...Within a painfully immodest pop universe, "Idol" stands as a champion of family values -- and of the endangered naughty giggle. The banter between the show's male regulars, especially host Ryan Seacrest and judge Simon Cowell, is steeped in an outdated frat-boy homophobia that is never funny and often deeply uncomfortable. You'd think that the formal protest lodged in 2006 by the gay-rights organization GLAAD would have put a stop to such antics, but they've just kept coming.

"Idol's" closet contains much more than sexuality, though. It includes language differences, religious affiliation and its contestants' complex family lives. The daring Lambert might break down the wall of homophobia this season, but it's just as likely one of the show's several Christian worship leaders, including Lambert's main male rival Danny Gokey, will push the producers to let fundamentalist Christianity out of the box in which it's not very well contained.


UPDATE:

While writing this post, we were casually listening to the 4th grueling hour of The Today Show, hosted by that annoying twat and the drunken Mooslim.

After bouncing around from Cats to Billy Elliot to dirty contact lenses, they start in on Idol. Hoda starts giving Lambo praise, and Kathie Lee interrupts and says he reminds her of "Aerosmith....no, Steve Perry....no, Journey."

Really?

You can suck it too, Kathie Lee.

For No Reason

(Well, maybe one.)

32 songs in 8 minutes

Morning Dump

Jim Cramer will appear on the Daily Show Thursday to duel Jon Stewart to the death. Also, Jim Cramer is a moron.

South Carolina first state to refuse Obama government cheese. SC will also change their state motto to "Two men enter, one man leave. Welcome to Thunderdome!"

Meet your new Narc.

Recession hits GOP, forcing them to eat leftovers.

If you wanna rewrite history, wait until most of the people who were there are dead.

President Obama will never work in Hollywood.

Washington State Senate passes domestic partnership bill by wide margin.

Hand Your Babies Over, Please. President Obama Is Hungry

That didn't take long at all. Barack the baby eater reversed Bush era bans on stem cell research.

Who can blame him? Infants are considered a fine delicacy in some cultures:

President Barack Obama Monday rescinded the Bush administration’s limits on federal funding for embryonic stem cell research and chided his predecessor for putting politics ahead of science.

Obama also signed an order meant to put scientific research back in the forefront in government decision-making.

“It is about ensuring that scientific data is never distorted or concealed to serve a political agenda — and that we make scientific decisions based on facts, not ideology,” Obama said.


Another bright side? Ingredients for embryonic egg sardou will be dirt cheap.

Today's Paultard Video

The tiniest paultard hobbit is back again, imploring fellow gold-fellating 9/11 truther fucksticks to make 20 second video messages for President Obama.

People actually did this:




Dear Mr. Obama: Please do not close Guantánamo Bay and allow brickbat to write the guest list.

via Middle-earth

WorldNetDaily Incensed By Obama White House Rainbow Party Orgies

Mexican news webpamhplet WorldNetDaily hates President Obama and the fancy sex parties he throws for his friends and frenemies:

Larry Klayman, founder of Freedom Watch, told WND today he's seeking information about the partying in the White House since the Obamas moved in.

...Klayman said the reports of the partying at the White House, "with the likes of Steve Wonder and other high priced entertainment stars," will be the focus of document requests being submitted to the General Services Administration. The requests will seek to determine how much taxpayer money is being used.

"Barack and Michelle Obama have been throwing taxpayer funded parties nearly every night with their 'friends' and supporters, with Michelle Obama even exhorting them not to 'break' White House property," Klayman's announcement said.

"This party atmosphere sends the wrong message to the American people. As the Obama-Clinton crowd party on, the American people are suffering greatly," Klayman said.

"It was right to criticize corporate execs for using taxpayer bailout money on bonuses and corporate junkets. In the face of this criticism, it is an outrage for Barack and Michelle Obama to party on, as Rome burns. It's like throwing a party at a funeral," he said.

..."Using one of the world’s most famous private residences as bait, President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle Obama are unleashing a bipartisan charm offensive and exploiting every square inch of their new home to make friends and influence rivals. The social calendar suggests a return to the days of Camelot," the report said.


No surpise that an old conservative dildo hates the idea of black people running around the White House "touching things".

Or the fact that the First Family doesn't eat Hungry Man dinners off their laps:

Dinners have featured lavish menus including "Celery Soup, Wild Mushroom Crisps, Steelhead Salmon with Citrus sauce, Crispy Spinach, Toasted Saffron Couscous Pearls, Baby Iceberg lettuce with Maytag Bleu Cheese and Yogurt ranch dressing and for dessert, Milk Chocolate velvet cake" – all served on gold-rimmed china.


Impeachment!!! NOW!!!

via WND

Local Moron Mentioned On Famous Moron's Show

Jesus jump roping Christ.

In short:

A man who flies a Confederate flag on property he owns on Beal Parkway added two large signs Wednesday to express his feelings about President Barack Obama.

"January 20, 2009, A Day of Darkness, Hussen (sic)" is written on both signs, which are each about the size of a dinner table.

...Property owner Larry Ford said he put up the signs to share his opinion of Obama, who he refers to as "Hussein."

"We've got a man who shouldn't even be president," Ford said when reached by phone Thursday. "He's an insult to the decent, hard-working people that made this country what it is."

By Thursday night, Ford was featured on MSNBC's Countdown with Keith Olbermann as the worst person in the world.

Ford said the feedback he'd gotten in the first 24 hours was positive, but he realized there would be those who disagreed with him.

An active-duty military woman who wrote to the Daily News agreed that the property owner had a constitutional right to express his opinion, but said she was upset that the president's middle name is misspelled.

When that was pointed out to Ford, he wasn't concerned.

"I think everybody knows who I'm talking about, don't you?" he said. "American people are the stupidest people in the world, but something like that I think they can figure out."

Conservative Hobbit GOP's New Hope™

The NY Times has profiled Jonathan Krohn, the scary tween who gave a rousing speech at CPAC to a room full of drooling pedos and deep-fried Twinkie enthusiasts.

Krohn is your average home-schooled kid from Georgia who learns Latin from a Christian school on Fridays and studies Arabic with a tutor:

SITTING in the back seat of his mother’s van as she drives through Atlanta suburbs, Jonathan Krohn is about to sign off with a conservative radio talk show host in Florida. In the 40 minutes he’s been on the air, with the help of his mother’s cellphone, this hyper-articulate Georgia eighth grader has attacked the stimulus bill, identified leaders he thinks will salvage the Republican Party’s image, and assessed the legitimacy of Barack Obama’s birth certificate.

The show’s host chuckles and asks whether President Obama has called Jonathan “a little fascist.”

“The president hasn’t come after me yet,” Jonathan says chummily, “but we’ve had other people come after me!”

“Jonathan!” his mother hisses from the driver’s seat.


Guess mom is still touchy after screening phone calls from Mark Foley.

Even Bill Bennett has a not-so-secret crush on Krohn:

Jonathan would wake up at 6 a.m. to listen to Bill Bennett’s “Morning in America” show and became riveted by politics and American history. Soon, Mr. Bennett, whom Jonathan now describes as, “my mentor and very good friend,” was taking Jonathan’s calls.

“Jonathan was an extraordinary boy, very special,” Mr. Bennett said, in a phone interview. “He wowed my audience, he wowed me. He’s very engaging and learned. He’s got staying power.”


Gross.

This species of hobbit is more complicated than you'd imagine. For one, he is an anti-semitic Jew:

...He received a computer from his maternal grandfather for his 13th birthday. “In the Jewish culture in which my mom was raised, 13 is a big deal,” he said. “But since I’m a Jewish Christian, I don’t do a bar mitzvah.” (Decades ago, his mother became a Baptist.)


Shame on you, Mr. Krohn.

And shame on you, Rush and Michael Steele, for allowing this kid to appear more relevant than both of you, the Mexican Child King, and Bible Spice combined.

President Unicorn will handily win all 50 states in 2012.

Last Lambo Boyfriend Update...Maybe/Possibly/Probably Not

Myspace Glitter Graphics






Access Hollywood is reporting that Adam Lambert claims he is single:

Fortunately for him, Adam Lambert is not one to back down from a controversy.

The “American Idol” finalist handily addressed the recent photo scandal where votefortheworst.com posted pictures of him dressed in drag and kissing another man.

“You know what, I have nothing to hide. I am who I am. And this is about singing… nothing else,” Adam told Accesshollywood.com’s Laura “Dish of Salt” Saltman at last night’s Top 13 party.

For the record, Adam said he is currently single. When he spoke with Access last week, the photos had not yet surfaced and Adam admitted he had been Google-ing himself while competing on the show to see what people were saying about him.

“That came back to bite me, didn’t it,” he joked.

And yes, he did Google himself when he heard about the photos.

“When my parents, family and friends told me too, I did. I live here in Hollywood, you know. All about free expression. It’s all in the name of art,” he added.

The photos in question were taken at the “Burning Man” arts festival held in the California desert each summer.


Geno's World, who claims to be in contact with associates of Cheeks/Brad Bell, begs to differ:

Geno's World has an exclusive response to an Access Hollywood report from 1 hour ago. Adam had talked to AH about his kissing photos that hit the web of him and "Cheeks". The report says Adam is currently single.....NOT SO says a close associate of "Cheeks". "Oh no, they still see each other. They're still together!".....Stay tuned

Just Stop With The Gifts Already

Seriously.

You'd figure that after DVD Gate, US officials would wise up and save a fucking buck or two. We're in a recession, you know.

Friday, SOS Cankles McGee met with Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov in Geneva, bringing along a present. Inside was a red button (are we the only ones who see something terribly macabre about this?) with a very special message printed on it. Things went downhill from there:

When it comes to Russia, the Obama administration has been talking about “pressing the reset button.” It’s meant to symbolize a possible new start in U.S./Russian relations, which “crashed” after Russia invaded Georgia last August.

So when Secretary of State Hillary Clinton greeted Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov in Geneva Friday before sitting down to their working dinner, she was all smiles when she presented him a small green box with a ribbon.

Lavrov opened it and, inside, there was a red button with the Russian word “peregruzka” printed on it.

"I would like to present you with a little gift that represents what President Obama and Vice President Biden and I have been saying and that is: 'We want to reset our relationship, and so we will do it together.' …

"We worked hard to get the right Russian word. Do you think we got it?" she asked Lavrov, laughing.

“You got it wrong," said Lavrov, as both diplomats laughed.

“It should be “perezagruzka” [the Russian word for reset]," said Lavrov."This says ‘peregruzka,’ which means ‘overcharged.’”


We recommend that our goverment just stop handing out gifts all together. If you really feel compelled to hand out stupid shit to any Joe Blow with an accent, try fruit cake. Or a Snuggie. Or booze.

No One Wants To Play Doctor With America

That's right. No universal health care and no sexy surgeon general for you.

CNN's Dr. Sanjay Gupta officially withdrew his name for the post Thursday, citing family reasons or some other shit that's just an excuse for not wanting to make less money:

This is more about my family and my surgical career," Gupta told CNN's "Larry King Live."

The neurosurgeon said he would likely have had to give up practicing had he taken the job as the nation's top doctor.

In addition, the 39-year-old and his wife are expecting their third daughter any time, and the government job would have meant long periods away from his family, he said.

"I think, for me, it really came down to a sense of timing more than anything else," he said. "I just didn't feel I should do that now."


Further, it seems that Vermont anger bear Howard Dean has no interest in the post either:

The news that Sanjay Gupta has decided not to go for the gig of surgeon general has already fired up supporters of Howard Dean, who are now touting him for the post.

But a close Dean ally familiar with his thinking tells me that it’s not really a gig that would work for him. “It’s not a good fit for him,” this ally tells me.

A few months back there was a round of chatter about Dean getting tapped as surgeon general, but at the time Dean aides shot down the speculation. “Even then we didn’t think it was right for him,” the Dean ally says.


Basically, the only candidates left are Dr. Nick and that guy who fertilized the freak in California with her own mini-cult.

Enjoy your diseases and lack of condoms, America!

President Obama To Teabag Queen Elizabeth In April

Oh good Lord Xenu fuck. The British are so testy these days.

The Telegraph's Iain Martin has his bloomers in a knot over President Unicorn giving UK PM Gordon Brown DVDs as a gift, when Brown gave Obama a stupid pen and some dusty old books in return.

BREAKING NEWS, IAIN: Black people are horrible tippers. It should come as no surprise that they are horrible gift givers as well.

Martin latches on to this crime to humanity by scoffing at the notion that the DVD's will even play in British players:

This is quite a serious question. I have a vision of the Browns, Gordon and Sarah, settling down at the PM's country retreat (Chequers) this weekend. The children have been put to bed and Mr Brown heads in the direction of the DVD player:

GB: "The Obamas bought us some films on DVD. That was very thoughtful."

SB: "Not that thoughtful..."

GB: "What shall we watch? ET? Star Wars? Psycho, Casablanca, Lawrence of Arabia?

SB: sighs... "Seen them all."

GB: "I'll try The Wizard of Oz, it's the version in which all the colours have been restored to the original quality. We can stop and try something else if you don't like it. Where's the remote control?" (GB fiddles with the DVD player for several minutes) "Right, I think it's going to start." (Nothing happens, machine displays a notice saying 'disc loading error').

SB: (examining DVD cover) "They're Region 1, they won't play in the UK."

The Browns sit in complete silence for several more minutes reflecting on what this means.

Let's hope that somebody in the White House was aware of the difference between the formats and acted accordingly when ordering the DVDs. I have asked Number 10 to clarify and will post an update when they respond.


Earlier, Martin pondered on whether Barack was worthy of an invite The Queen sent his way for a spot of tea:

President Obama has been rudeness personified towards Britain this week. His handling of the visit of the Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, to Washington was appalling. First Brown wasn't granted a press conference with flags, then one was hastily arranged in the Oval office after the Brits had to beg. Obama looked like he would rather have been anywhere else than welcoming the British leader to his office and topped it all with his choice of present (*) for the PM. A box of 25 DVDS including ET, the Wizard of Oz and Star Wars? Oh, give me strength. We do have television and DVD stores on this side of the Atlantic. Even Gordon Brown will have seen those films too often already.

This was coupled with Michelle Obama's casual choice of gifts for the Brown sons - matching models of the helicopter which ferry her husband around. While Sarah Brown had spent time choosing gifts for the Obama girls, Michelle had clearly sent an aide to the White House gift shop at the last moment.

All in all, he doesn't think much of us, as I explained in my post here earlier this week.

But what's this? Something, suddenly, seems to have made the Obama White House perk up and start to take an interest in the Brits. The Queen has invited the President to tea when he's here for the G20 in April. And he's in through the front door of Buckingham Palace faster than a Harley Davidson roaring along Route 66.

Note how the coolness of Team Obama disappears when a bit of regal glamour is introduced into the equation. He might not like the Brits, but he can recognise a global superstar when he encounters one. He wants to be associated with her. He's shameless.


Fellow Telegraph douchebag James Delingpole blames this all on the First Lady and her Princeton Koran hate thesis:

Iain Martin is quite right here: no matter how utterly rubbish we have become as a nation in the Blair/Brown years, Britain's friendship is something Obama will come to regret having dispensed with so lightly. This was not the act of a global statesman, but of a hormonal teenager dismissing her bestest of best BFs for no other reason than that she felt like it and she can, so there.

What was the guy thinking? In researching my new book Welcome to Obamaland, I discovered that Obama's judgment is pretty dreadful - but this? My favourite theory so far - suggested by presenter Greg Garrison - was that it was a move calculated to please his Lady Macbeth. At the moment in Britain, we're still in the "Doesn't she look fabulous in a designer frock" stage of understanding of Michelle Obama. Gradually, though, we'll begin to realise that she is every bit the terrifying executive's wife that Hillary Clinton was. Or, shudder, Cherie Blair.

We may just LURVE Michelle's fashion sense. But Michelle doesn't reciprocate our affection, one bit. Her broad-brush view of history associates Brits with the wicked white global hegemony responsible for the slave trade. Never mind that a white, Tory Englishman - William Wilberforce - brought the slave trade to an end. Judging by her record, Michelle does not make room for such subtle nuance.

Consider her notorious statement that: "For the first time in my adult life I am really proud of my country." Consider her (till-recently suppressed) Princeton thesis, "Princeton Educated Blacks And The Black Community."

In it she writes: "I have found that at Princeton, no matter how liberal and open-minded some of my white professors and classmates try to be toward me, I sometimes feel like a visitor on campus; as if I really don't belong. Regardless of the circumstances underwhich I interact with whites at Princeton, it often seems as if, to them, I will always be black first and a student second."

..."As I enter my final year at Princeton," she writes. "I find myself striving for many of the same goals as my White classmates - acceptance to a prestigious graduate or professional school or a high paying position in a successful corporation. Thus, my goals at Princeton are not as clear as before."

"Yes, exactly, you silly girl" you want to shriek at young Michelle as you give her a good shake. "It's called 'opening your mind', 'broadening your experience', 'allowing youthful dogma to be shaped by reality.' It's why people go to university, don't you know?"


In summary...suck it, England.

Adam Lambert Secrets Revealed!!!

Known emohomosexual deviant Adam Lambert's sin against nature is getting a lot of attention these days. Since we really dig the kid, we're jumping on the bandwagon.

The Inquisitr dug up the above video of Lambo Cockrissian getting felt up by a coven of writhing sodomists, along with another video of him dry humping male negro dancer.


Further, Geno's World claims that the man Lambo is swapping spit and gay with in the photos posted yesterday is a performance artist named Cheeks, also known as Brad Bell:




Adam Lambert has made it to the final 12 of this year's "American Idol". The guy has got tremendous talent and will go far. Pictures of Adam kissing another man have recently surfaced all over the web. The question remained.....who is the mysterious man? Well the man is............ Brad Bell aka "Cheeks" a music star in his own right! Geno's World has been in contact with Brad's people and is hoping for an interview soon. One of Brad's people told me that "Brad doesn't want to mess with Adam's chances in Idol. His main concern right now is to support Adam and give him his 100% support and love!"

Either way, we fully endorse Adam as the next American Idol and hope he stomps the shit out of the blind guy who's faking it and the guy that made up the story about his wife dying.

More pics of Lambo's possible bf here, along with some surprisingly good music and funny videos.

No Surprises Here

Idol contestant Adam Lambert made it to the final 12 last week, but pictures that have recently surfaced may test the majority of America's tolerance towards teh buttseks.

From Tabloid Prodigy:

Big surprise everyone: American Idol’s makeup loving, fingernail polished pretty boy, Ryan Seacrest Adam Lambert, is a big homosexual. Or as Simon would say, he’s theatrical.
And he’s got awesome gay friends who've released scantily clad, fagalicious photos of him wearing makeup and flamboyant clothes. True, he looks like a club kid fag all the time on Idol. But in these photos, you can see him swapping spit bubbles with his fellow skinny, twinky boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis.

Check out his gallery of regretable gayness at Dudetube.

Missouri Lawmakers Sign Bill To Fight Mooslim Tyranny

Some Republicans got together and decided that, in these trying economic times, Issue #1 should be outing our Half-Breed Muslin President for the Illuminati Caliph Devil he is. What would be the best way to do that? Amend the state constitution:

Fifteen Republican members of the Missouri General Assembly have signed on to a state constitutional amendment that appears aimed at advancing the claims of the fringe movement that doubts President Barack Obama's eligibility to serve as president.

The language is contained in a proposed "voter’s bill of rights," which would serve "as a defense against corruption, fraud, and tyranny."

The proposed amendment states:

"For candidates who are required by the Constitution of the United States to be natural born citizens, the secretary of state shall request an official copy of the candidate’s birth certificate. Other certifications, such as a certificate of live birth, shall not be accepted. Should any candidate fail to provide an official birth certificate within thirty days of the request by the secretary of state, his or her name shall not be placed on the ballot."

The Birthers, as they're known, have focused on the State of Hawaii's refusal to release the original of Obama's birth certificate, as opposed to official copies; Hawaii state law bars the release of the original.

Today's Godtube/tangle Moment

Today's Paultard Video

RONPAULZWUNTHURDPLASELOLZ!!!!

Time for celebration by heavy mouth breathing and stuttering over your own prepared remarks.

via the Youtubes


PS: Even anti-pork "Washington outsiders" get their earmarks:

Rep. Ron Paul vehemently denounced the $410 billion catch-all spending bill approved last week by the House of Representatives.

But although the libertarian-leaning Republican from Lake Jackson cast a vote against the massive spending measure, his fingerprints were on some of the earmarks that helped inflate its cost.

Paul played a role in obtaining 22 earmarks worth $96.1 million, which led the Houston congressional delegation, according to a Houston Chronicle analysis of more than 8,500 congressionally mandated projects inserted into the bill. His earmarks included repair projects to the Galveston Seawall damaged by Hurricane Ike and the Gulf Intracoastal Waterway.

Mittens Wins GOP Black Panther Straw Poll

Hoorayz!!! Mitt Romney has been crowned Grand Dragon of Michael Steele's conservative hip-hop movement at CPAC's drunken Carnival, also known as the Players Ball.

Mittens garnered 20 percent of the vote, edging out Mexican Child King Bobby Jindal, who pulled in 14 percent...because he is brown.

As if this weren't funny enough, Sarah Palin tied for third place with Ron Paul.

We repeat: Sarah Palin tied for third with RON PAUL.

LONG LIVE BLIMPS AND HOBBITS!!!

via Politico