brickbat Returns From Longest Vacation In Recorded History

Jingle jangle and salutations!

We have made it back to this series of tubes after an extended sabbatical to clear our minds of nonsense, such as healthcare, recessions, racist wingnuts, paultards, truthers, and other various types of nonsense.

Now, it's back to the usual. Enjoy (or not) our triumphant return.

GHWB Bday Sodomist Furry Orgy Spectacular

Who knew?

From Tabloid Prodigy:


So you may be asking yourself: What are these two whores doing next to these two beautiful strippers?

Well, the explanation is quite simple, really. See, to celebrate Barbara Bush’s 84th birthday, actors from a local production of A Chorus Line were invited to join George H.W. Bush and the bday gal in Maine at the Bush family vacation home to celebrate.

The bikini-clad hot chick parked in the former President’s lap is actress Katie Cameron, and the hottie standing next to former first lady Barbara is Justin Clynes (at right). And yes, he’s a dick smoker. He has graced the cover of Genre magazine, and also had a turn in nothing-but-a-towel on Broadway’s The Ritz. And curiously, he was also the subject of a blind item on Kennethinthe212, in which a “famous gossip columnist” (Musto, perhaps?) tipped that Clynes claimed he was closeted actor Jake G’s (Gyllenhaal, perhaps?) alleged former lover.

Paultards Ambush Scientology Treehouse In Nashville

Again, what happens when you think they're ALL douchebags?

Further details here.

Do read.

First Lady Consorts With Red (Communist?!?!) Furry

From CNN:

What's the highlight of Mrs. Obama's time in the White House? Hanging out with Elmo, of course.

The first lady stopped by Sesame Street Tuesday, chatting with the furry red monster and making a public service announcement along the way.

"If you want your child to have healthy habits, practice healthy habits too because you're your child's best role model," Michelle Obama advocated in her appearance for Sesame Workshop's Healthy Habits for Life Initiative.

G-20 Furry Kegger Update

Our monies are fixed, so you can stop worrying now.

A new romance has bloomed this Spring.

Michelle Obama date raped some old hemophiliac blue hair.

President Unicorn broke up a fight.

The French whoremonger and the secret Putin buttpuppet want Timothy Geithner's job.

WorldNetDaily Incensed By Obama White House Rainbow Party Orgies

Mexican news webpamhplet WorldNetDaily hates President Obama and the fancy sex parties he throws for his friends and frenemies:

Larry Klayman, founder of Freedom Watch, told WND today he's seeking information about the partying in the White House since the Obamas moved in.

...Klayman said the reports of the partying at the White House, "with the likes of Steve Wonder and other high priced entertainment stars," will be the focus of document requests being submitted to the General Services Administration. The requests will seek to determine how much taxpayer money is being used.

"Barack and Michelle Obama have been throwing taxpayer funded parties nearly every night with their 'friends' and supporters, with Michelle Obama even exhorting them not to 'break' White House property," Klayman's announcement said.

"This party atmosphere sends the wrong message to the American people. As the Obama-Clinton crowd party on, the American people are suffering greatly," Klayman said.

"It was right to criticize corporate execs for using taxpayer bailout money on bonuses and corporate junkets. In the face of this criticism, it is an outrage for Barack and Michelle Obama to party on, as Rome burns. It's like throwing a party at a funeral," he said.

..."Using one of the world’s most famous private residences as bait, President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle Obama are unleashing a bipartisan charm offensive and exploiting every square inch of their new home to make friends and influence rivals. The social calendar suggests a return to the days of Camelot," the report said.


No surpise that an old conservative dildo hates the idea of black people running around the White House "touching things".

Or the fact that the First Family doesn't eat Hungry Man dinners off their laps:

Dinners have featured lavish menus including "Celery Soup, Wild Mushroom Crisps, Steelhead Salmon with Citrus sauce, Crispy Spinach, Toasted Saffron Couscous Pearls, Baby Iceberg lettuce with Maytag Bleu Cheese and Yogurt ranch dressing and for dessert, Milk Chocolate velvet cake" – all served on gold-rimmed china.


Impeachment!!! NOW!!!

via WND

Jason Mraz Has Stuff To Say About The Election

If you're still deciding on a candidate this November, the most helpful tool you could use is the WWJMD?™ method. (Bracelet patent pending)

When not singing or dressed as a well-endowed underwear-clad furrie, Jason Mraz has stuff to say:

Last year Bob Dylan compiled a song list for Starbucks' Artist Choice Series. In addition to offering up a keen selection of country, blues, and jazz, he also supplied notes and commentary as to why he held the songs in such regard. BUT, the best part was the forward.

He wrote, "When I was asked to put together this collection of songs, I wasn't sure what to do. So I just grabbed a bunch of things I was into recently. Some people have favorite songs, but I've got songs of the minute -- songs that I'm listening to right now. And if you ask me about one of those songs a year from now, I might not even remember who did it, but at the moment it's everything to me."


What the fuck do this have to do with anything?......you might say:

I bring this up as today's lesson: Nothing is final. One day you're high. The next day you're low. You might have a funky, expressive, or awful haircut today, but soon it will grow into something else, something new and random. Maybe you grew up liking pop music and boy bands, but now you like a specific mash up of Electronic & Classical. You might decide you don't want to smoke cigarettes anymore; that it's just not who you are. Maybe you were a staunch republican but now have curiosities about the well-spoken and well-organized Democratic Nominee. Perhaps you were madly in love last week, but woke up today feeling comfort in solitude, without a desire to be held.


Well-spoken is elitist for uppity negro, I believe.

Let's continue:

Everything is fine. Not finAL.

We tend to instantly identify with "things." And we believe in so much, when in fact, a belief isn't known to be true. It's a hope for the truth. We hold grudges because of what someone said when we were young. We store hurtful words and replay them in our minds until we think it to be true. And some of us believe a TV commercial and think we need a faster computer, a smarter phone, a stronger pill, a more relaxed-fit jean, etc. We think that certain things, thoughts, or actions make us who we are and sometimes we become addicted to those thoughts or behaviors and then become too afraid to let them go.


In summary: Shut the fuck up, Jason Mraz.

Day 4 Schedule: Mooslim Appreaciation Day

Today features President of Earth Al Gore and future President of our hearts, St. Barack of Obama:


3:00 PM – 5:00 PM (LOCAL)

Live Performances (before gavel)
Yonder Mountain String Band Performance
Jeff Austin, Adam Aijala, Ben Kaufmann, Dave Johnston

Voter Registration Presentation

Remarks
The Honorable Luis Gutierrez
Member of the US House of Representatives, Illinois

David Plouffe
Obama Campaign Manager

Ray Rivera
Obama State Director, Colorado

Call to Order
The Honorable Nancy Pelosi
Permanent Chair, Democratic National Convention
Member and Speaker of the US House of Representatives, California

Invocation
Rabbi David Saperstein
Director, Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism – Washington, DC

Presentation of Colors
Disabled American Veterans

Pledge of Allegiance
Shawn Johnson
US Olympic Gymnast

National Anthem
Jennifer Hudson
Academy award-winning singer and Broadway performer

Welcome
Elbra Wedgeworth
President/Chair, Denver Host Committee

Presentation of Resolutions
Democratic National Committee Vice-Chairs
Mark Brewer
The Honorable Linda Chavez-Thompson
The Honorable Mike Honda
The Honorable Lottie Shackelford
Susan Turnbull

Remarks
Honorable Bill Ritter, Jr.
Governor of Colorado

The Honorable Ed Perlmutter
Member of the US House of Representatives, Colorado

The Honorable John Salazar
Member of the US House of Representatives, Colorado

The Honorable Diana DeGette
Member of the US House of Representatives, Colorado

5:00 PM – 6:00 PM (LOCAL)

Video & Remarks
The Honorable Howard Dean
Former Governor of Vermont
Chair of the Democratic Party

Video & Remarks: Tribute to Dr. Martin Luther King
The Honorable John Lewis
Member of the US House of Representatives, Georgia
Rev. Bernice King
Daughter of the late Dr. King
Martin Luther King III
Oldest son of the late Dr. King

Remarks
The Honorable Bill Richardson
Governor, New Mexico

Live Performances
will.i.am
Accompanied by John Legend (piano), Agape Choir, and band

Sheryl Crow
Singer/songwriter

Remarks
Ray Rivera
Obama State Director, Colorado

6:00 PM – 7:00 PM (LOCAL)

Remarks
The Honorable Jan Schakowsky
Member of the US House of Representatives, Illinois

The Honorable Mark Udall
Member of the US House of Representatives, Colorado

The Honorable Tim Kaine
Governor of Virginia

Live Performance
Stevie Wonder

Remarks
The Honorable Al Gore
Former Vice President of the United States

7:00 PM - 8:00 PM (LOCAL)

Remarks
John Kuniholm
Wounded Iraq veteran

Live Performance
Michael McDonald
Singer/songwriter

Remarks
Susan Eisenhower
Granddaughter of President Dwight D. Eisenhower

Retired Generals Tribute
Air Force Maj. Gen. J. Scott Gration (Ret)
Accompanied by additional generals

American Voices Program
Roy Gross
Monica Early
Wes Moore
Janet Lynn Monacco
Nate Fick
Teresa Asenap
Pamela Cash-Roper
Barney Smith

Remarks
The Honorable Dick Durbin
US Senator, Illinois

8:00 PM – 9:00 PM (LOCAL)

Video/Remarks
SENATOR BARACK OBAMA
DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE

Benediction
Pastor Joel Hunter
Senior Pastor of Northland in Central Florida

Adjournment
The Honorable Nancy Pelosi
Permanent Chair, Democratic National Convention

Day 2 Of Giant Lesbo/Furry/Masochist Orgy 2008

It's Lady Bitter Day because 88 Years ago sluts got the right to vote. This means pandering to Hilltards and letting Thundercunt speak about 18 million crackwhores or something.

Highlight of the day? It's Shirley Franklin time:

Hour #1 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM (LOCAL)
Call to Order
The Honorable Shirley Franklin
Mayor of Atlanta, Georgia

Invocation
Reverend Cynthia Hale
Disciples of Christ - Decatur, Georgia

Presentation of Colors
The American GI Forum
Mile High Chapter, Colorado
Congressionally chartered Mexican-American veterans & civil rights organization

Pledge of Allegiance
Koby Langley
From Fort Mead, Maryland, he received the Bronze Star for leadership in the US Army
Credited with design & implementation of 1st Foreign Torts Claims Policy Act - Iraq

National Anthem
Rocky Mountain Children's Choir
A multicultural, multiracial choir committed to forming community around music

Remarks/Video
The Honorable Eleanor Holmes Norton
Non-voting Member of the US House of Representatives, District of Columbia

Remarks
Ted Sorenson
Special Counsel, advisor and speechwriter to President John F. Kennedy
Researched and drafted Kennedy's "Profiles in Courage"

The Honorable Mike Honda
Member of the US House of Representatives, California

Dr. David Gipp
Member of the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe
President - United Tribes Technical College

The Honorable Linda Sanchez
Member of the US House of Representatives, California

The Honorable Chet Culver
Governor of Iowa

The Honorable David Paterson
Governor of New York

The Honorable Patrick Leahy
US Senator, Vermont

Hour # 2 4:08 PM – 5:00 PM (LOCAL)
Remarks
The Honorable Chris Van Hollen
Member of the US House of Representatives, Maryland

Remarks
Cecile Richards
President of the Planned Parenthood Federation of America
Daughter of the former Governor of Texas, The Honorable Ann Richards

Congressional Black Caucus
The Honorable Carolyn Kilpatrick
Member of the US House of Representatives, Michigan
The Honorable Charles Rangel
Member of the US House of Representatives, New York
The Honorable John Conyers
Member of the US House of Representatives, Michigan
The Honorable Bennie Thompson
Member of the US House of Representatives, Mississippi

Moment of Silence

Video – “In Memoriam”

Remarks
The Honorable Dennis Kucinich
Member of the US House of Representatives, Ohio

The Honorable John Chiang
State Comptroller, California

The Honorable Jim Doyle
Governor of Wisconsin

The Honorable Ted Strickland
Governor of Ohio

DGA - Remarks
The Honorable Joe Manchin
Governor of West Virginia

Hour # 3 5:00 PM – 6:00 PM (LOCAL)
US Senate Women
The Honorable Barbara Mikulski
US Senator, Maryland
The Honorable Barbara Boxer
US Senator, California
The Honorable Mary Landrieu
US Senator, Louisiana
The Honorable Blanche Lambert Lincoln
US Senator, Arizona
The Honorable Debbie Stabenow
US Senator, Michigan
The Honorable Maria Cantwell
US Senator, Washington State
The Honorable Claire McCaskill
US Senator, Missouri
The Honorable Amy Klobuchar
US Senator, Minnesota

Remarks
The Honorable Ed Rendell
Governor of Pennsylvania

The Honorable Tammy Baldwin
Member of the US House of Representatives, Wisconsin

The Honorable Xavier Becerra
Member of the US House of Representatives, California

John Sweeney
President of the AFL-CIO

Robin Golden
Autoworker from Michigan scheduled to lose his job

Video - First Time Delegates: Renewing America's Promise

Remarks
The Honorable Rahm Emanuel
Member of the US House of Representatives, Illinois

Live Performance
Alejandro Escovedo
Vocals & guitar

Hour # 4 6:01 PM – 7:00 PM (LOCAL)
Remarks
The Honorable Steny Hoyer
Member of the US House of Representatives, Maryland
Democratic Majority Leader

Katherine Marcano
Cedar Rapids, Iowa flood victim

Anna Burger
Officer with SEIU & 1st Chair of America's newest labor federation, "Change to Win"

Pauline Beck
Homecare worker & member of SEIU from Oakland, California

The Honorable Janet Napolitano
Governor of Arizona

America’s Town Hall - Economy
Moderator: The Honorable Jennifer Granholm – Governor of Michigan
Panelists: Aimee Christensen, Jim Rogers, Jim Bauer, Jerome Ringo

Remarks
Jim Whitaker
Republican Mayor of Fairbanks, Alaska

Pamela Cash-Roper
Unemployed nurse and lifelong Republican from North Carolina

The Honorable Nydia Velazquez
Member of the US House of Representatives, New York

Hour # 5 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM (LOCAL)
Remarks
The Honorable Kathleen Sebelius
Governor of Kansas

The Honorable Federico Peña
Former Secretary of Energy and former Mayor of Denver, Colorado

Nancy Floyd
Founder of Nth Power – an energy technology investment firm in Portland, Oregon

The Honorable Robert Casey, Jr.
US Senator, Pennsylvania

Lily Ledbetter
Her actions against Goodyear Tire led to the passage of the Fair Pay Restoration Act

Keynote Speech
The Honorable Mark Warner
Governor of Virginia

Remarks
Ret. Rear Admiral John Hutson
President, Franklin Pierce Law Center in Concord, New Hampshire
Lifelong Republican

The Honorable Deval Patrick
Governor of Massachusetts

Hour # 6 8:02 PM – 9:04 PM (LOCAL)
Remarks
Gloria Craven
Laid-off North Carolina textile worker with huge medical bills

The Honorable Brian Schweitzer
Governor of Montana

Hillary Clinton Segment - Video/Remarks
The Honorable Hillary Rodham Clinton
US Senator, New York

Benediction
Revs. Jin Ho Kang, Yoougsook Kang
Methodists - Aurora, Colorado

Recess
The Honorable Shirley Franklin
Mayor of Atlanta, Georgia

Giant Lesbo/Furry/Masochist Orgy Starts In Denver Tonight!!!

Hooray!!! The Democratic Bacchanal 2008 has started. Here's what's on today's agenda:

3:00 PM - 7:00 PM (LOCAL)

Call to Order
The Honorable Howard Dean
Chair, Democratic National Committee
Former Governor of Vermont

Invocation
The Honorable Polly Baca – Greeley, Colorado
Former Colorado State Senator
President & CEO Latin American Research & Service Agency

Presentation of Colors
Navajo Code Talkers Association
Keith Little, Frank Willeto, Bill Toledo, Jimmy Begay

Pledge of Allegiance
Angela Morgan –Alexandria, Virginia
Served 9 years in the Marines and now runs a leadership development small business

National Anthem
Colorado Children's Chorale
Group over 30-years old – Tad Koriath (piano)
Local children (7-14) performing throughout US & the world (China, Asia, Europe, etc.)

Welcome
Reverend Leah D. Daughtry
Convention CEO & Chief of Staff, Democratic National Committee

Video - “Welcome to the West”

Introduction of and Report by the Credentials Committee
The Honorable Howard Dean
Chair, Democratic National Committee
Eliseo Roques-Arroyo
Co-Chair Credentials Committee
Former Executive Director, Democratic Party of Puerto Rico
James Roosevelt, Jr.
Co-Chair Credentials Committee
Pres. & CEO Tuffs Health Plan (HMO) and grandson of FDR
The Honorable Alexis Herman
Co Chair Credentials Committee
Former US Secretary of Labor

Introduction of and Report by the Rules Committee
The Honorable Howard Dean
Chair, Democratic National Committee
Sunita Leeds
Co-Chair Rules Committee
Chair of the DNC Indo-American Leadership Council
The Honorable Mary Rose Oakar
Co-Chair Rules Committee
Former Member of the US Congress, Ohio,
President of the American-Arab Anti Discrimination Committee
The Honorable David Walters
Co-Chair Rules Committee
Former Governor of Oklahoma
President of Walters Power International

Video - Changing the Course of Our Nation
Featuring Ashley Baia -Native of Pennsylvania and an Obama field organizer mentioned in Obama's Philadelphia speech. Know as the "sandwich girl" who, at age 9, convinced her mother she liked mustard & relish sandwiches to save money while her mother was fighting cancer. She is now twenty-three.

Introduction of Convention Co-Chairs
The Honorable Howard Dean
Chair, Democratic National Committee
The Honorable Shirley Franklin
Mayor of Atlanta, Georgia
The Honorable Leticia Van de Putte
State Senator, Texas District 26
The Honorable Kathleen Sebelius
Governor of Kansas
The Honorable Nancy Pelosi
Speaker of the US House of Representatives
Member of the US House of Representatives, California
Permanent Chair of the 2008 Democratic National Convention

Turning Over the Gavel
The Honorable Howard Dean, temporary Chair of the Convention turns over the gavel to
The Honorable Nancy Pelosi, Permanent Chair of the 2008 Democratic Convention.

Remarks
The Honorable Doris Matsui, Parliamentarian
Member of the US House of Representatives, California

Andrew Tobias, Treasurer
Democratic Party Treasurer

Remarks by the Secretary and the Electronic Roll Call of Attendance
Alice Travis Germond - West Virginia
Secretary, Democratic Party
Member of the Democratic National Committee

Remarks – Presentation of Platform
The Honorable Patricia Madrid
Co-Chair Platform Committee
Attorney General of New Mexico

Judith McHale
Co-Chair Platform Committee
Business Executive (former President, Discovery Communications; Board of DigitalGlobal)

Remarks
The Honorable John Hickenlooper
Mayor of Denver, Colorado

Congressional Hispanic Caucus
The Honorable Joe Baca
Member of the US House of Representatives, California

The Honorable Grace Napolitano
Member of the US House of Representatives, California

The Honorable Silvestre Reyes
Member of the US House of Representatives, Texas

Remarks
Nancy Keenan
President, NARAL - Pro-Choice America

The Honorable Emil Jones, Jr.
State Senator, Illinois
Amanda Kubik
Young Delegate – North Dakota

Ret. Rear Admiral John Hutson,
Pres. Franklin Pierce Law Center in Concord – lifetime Republican

Reg Weaver
President, National Education Association

The Honorable Manuel Diaz
Mayor of Miami, Florida

Video - Changing the Course of Our Nation
Featuring Gabrielle Grossman
New Hampshire Obama Supporter "U2 mamma for Obama"

Remarks
The Honorable Lisa Madigan
Attorney General, Illinois

The Honorable Dan Hynes
Comptroller, Illinois

The Honorable Alexi Giannoulis
State Treasurer, Illinois

Randi Weingarten
American Federation of Teachers

The Honorable Amy Klobuchar
US Senator, Minnesota

Musical Performance
John Legend (vocals & piano) and accompanied by:
Agape Choir - International Spiritual Center, Culver City, CA
Trans-denominational Spiritual Community founded by Dr. Michael Bernard Beckwith

Video/Remarks
The Honorable Nancy Pelosi
Speaker of the US House of Representatives
Permanent Chair, Democratic National Convention

Video - First Time Delegates: Renewing America's Promise

America’s Town Hall – Economy
Moderator: Senator Sherrod Brown - Ohio,
Panelists: Ned Helms, Lisa Olivares, Dr. Laura Tyson, Jon Schnur

Remarks
Margie Perez
New Orleans jazz singer & song writer from Musicians Village

President Jimmy Carter Segment
Jimmy Carter/New Orleans Video
Acknowledgment of President Carter

Remarks
Maya Soetoro-Ng
Half-sister of Barack Obama
High School teacher - Hawaii

7:00 PM - 9:00 PM

Remarks
The Honorable Jesse Jackson, Jr.
Member of the US House of Representatives, Illinois

Mike Fisher & Cheryl Fisher – Beech Grove, Indiana
Mike – Amtrak tech & Cheryl – hospital tech (hosted Obama for lunch)

Tom Balanoff
President, SEIU Local 1 (Chicago)

Senator Edward M. Kennedy Tribute
Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg
Daughter of the late President John F. Kennedy and Jackie Kennedy

Video - Edward M. Kennedy Video

Remarks
The Honorable Miguel Del Valle
City Clerk of Chicago, Illinois

Candi Schmieder
Delegate Chair, Iowa County Convention

Jerry Kellman
Hired & supervised Obama at Developing Communities Project - Chicago, Illinois

Introduction of Jim Leach by
The Honorable Tom Harkin
US Senator, Iowa

The Honorable Jim Leach
Former Republican Member of the US House of Representatives, 1st District, Iowa

Introduction of Claire McCaskill by
Austin Esposito
Son of Senator McCaskill

The Honorable Claire McCaskill
US Senator, Missouri

Video - Michelle Obama Package

Introduction to the Michelle Obama Package
Craig Robinson
Older brother of Michelle Obama

Remarks
Michelle Obama
Wife of Presidential Candidate Barack Obama

Benediction
Don Miller -Portland, Oregon
Best-selling author & public speaker focusing on Christian spirituality

Recess
The Honorable Kathleen Sebelius
Governor of Kansas

Who Will Comic Book Weirdos Vote For?

SPOILER ALERT: Cat Woman is a Paultard.

Saturday Night Randomry

Dem RBC Meeting Happening Now

What an awesome Saturday. The Democratic Rules and Bylaws Committee is meeting to decide what to do with their bastard Michigan and Florida babies.

Obama would like to abort both, because he is a godless liberal elitist.

Hillary would like to adopt both into her hardworking non-bitter home.

Either way, this is gonna take a real long time. It's already been an excruciating day of passive-aggressive jokes and stupid stories no one wants to hear. Plus, we haven't even gotten around to cashing in Hillary's frequent flier miles, tin cans, and collection of state quarters.

Anywho, as usual, Ben Smith brings the best moment so far:

Donna Brazile -- the only RBC member who gets an ovation whenever she speaks -- says to Jim Blanchard, "you mentioned your momma." (Blanchard had mentioned it was his mother's birthday.)

“My momma always told me to play by the rules,” she says. And if you try to change the rules in the middle of the game, "it's cheating."

Brazile's nominally uncommitted, but it's pretty clear what her sentiments lie.

"Hillary Clinton played by the rules," responds Blanchard.

ReLOVEution Coming to Horry County

Matt Jarfi is running for the Horry County Council District 6. He's also a member of the Constitution Party, which is like the Libertarian Party but with more Paultards and furries.

When he's not hating Mexicans, Jarfi campaigns and raises money by preying on the feeble racist mind of Ron Paul.

To help support Matt Jarfi defeat the elitist limo-riding Bob Grabowski, click here. Jarfi is selling Dr. Congressman L. Ron Paultard's autographed Constitution on ebay.