It's 3am And Hillary Can't Answer The Phone

Well, Librul Socialist America. Looks like you may have made the right choice.

SOS Clinton's fragile lady bones are preventing her from doing President Unicorn's busy work:


Secretary of State Hillary Clinton canceled a planned trip to Greece and Italy this week because she is still recovering from surgery to repair her fractured elbow.

In Trieste, Italy, Clinton planned to attend meetings with her Group ofEight counterparts on Iran, the Middle East peace process and the War inAfghanistan. She also planned to take part in a gathering of the Organizationfor Security and Cooperation in Europe in Corfu, Greece, which was expected to focus on the tensions between Russia and Georgia.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSNAP!

Blech.

We sooo wish this were from another source, but it's too good not to put out right the fuck now:


Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton will soon announce that gay American diplomats will be given benefits similar to those that their heterosexual counterparts enjoy, U.S. officials said Saturday.

In a notice to be sent soon to State Department employees, Clinton says regulations that denied same-sex couples and their families the same rights and privileges that straight diplomats enjoyed are "unfair and must end," as they harm U.S. diplomacy.

"Providing training, medical care and other benefits to domestic partners promote the cohesiveness, safety and effectiveness of our posts abroad," she says in the message, a copy of which was obtained by The Associated Press.

"It will also help the department attract and retain personnel in a competitive environment where domestic partner benefits and allowances are increasingly the norm for world-class employers," she says.

"At bottom, the department will provide these benefits for both opposite-sex and same-sex domestic partners because it is the right thing to do," Clinton says.



Barack says what?



via HuffBlow

Hillary Clinton Hates Mexican Jesus

Add Glitter to Pictures



Vaya Con Dios:

During her recent visit to Mexico, U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton made an unexpected stop at the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe and left a bouquet of white flowers “on behalf of the American people,” after asking who painted the famous image.

The image of Our Lady of Guadalupe was miraculously imprinted by Mary on the tilma, or cloak, of St. Juan Diego in 1531. The image has numerous unexplainable phenomena, such as the appearance on Mary’s eyes of those present in the room when the tilma was opened and the image’s lack of decay.

Mrs. Clinton was received on Thursday at 8:15 a.m. by the rector of the Basilica, Msgr. Diego Monroy.

Msgr. Monroy took Mrs. Clinton to the famous image of Our Lady of Guadalupe, which had been previously lowered from its usual altar for the occasion.

After observing it for a while, Mrs. Clinton asked “who painted it?” to which Msgr. Monroy responded “God!”

Just Stop With The Gifts Already

Seriously.

You'd figure that after DVD Gate, US officials would wise up and save a fucking buck or two. We're in a recession, you know.

Friday, SOS Cankles McGee met with Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov in Geneva, bringing along a present. Inside was a red button (are we the only ones who see something terribly macabre about this?) with a very special message printed on it. Things went downhill from there:

When it comes to Russia, the Obama administration has been talking about “pressing the reset button.” It’s meant to symbolize a possible new start in U.S./Russian relations, which “crashed” after Russia invaded Georgia last August.

So when Secretary of State Hillary Clinton greeted Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov in Geneva Friday before sitting down to their working dinner, she was all smiles when she presented him a small green box with a ribbon.

Lavrov opened it and, inside, there was a red button with the Russian word “peregruzka” printed on it.

"I would like to present you with a little gift that represents what President Obama and Vice President Biden and I have been saying and that is: 'We want to reset our relationship, and so we will do it together.' …

"We worked hard to get the right Russian word. Do you think we got it?" she asked Lavrov, laughing.

“You got it wrong," said Lavrov, as both diplomats laughed.

“It should be “perezagruzka” [the Russian word for reset]," said Lavrov."This says ‘peregruzka,’ which means ‘overcharged.’”


We recommend that our goverment just stop handing out gifts all together. If you really feel compelled to hand out stupid shit to any Joe Blow with an accent, try fruit cake. Or a Snuggie. Or booze.

Pilot For "The Bill Show" Airs

Ametuer Gynecologist and wife of Thundercunt, Bill Clinton, had a secret sexy meeting with Vladimir Putin at a fancy Supervillian retreat in Davos. The two men got wasted and had a 90 minute discussion, which we presume included some heavy over-the-sweater petting action:

Upon arriving here on Wednesday afternoon, he conducted a series of quiet meetings with foreign leaders that culminated in an intense late-night discussion with Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin. The two former presidents met at a Sheraton hotel where Putin held a private party, following an early evening reception at a local museum hosted by Clinton.

Putin greeted Clinton cordially as "our good friend" as they raised glasses of vodka and then listened to a pianist pound out "In the Hall of the Mountain King." When the musical entertainment concluded, they moved to a table in a separate room with access strictly controlled by Secret Service and Russian security agents. Flanked by aides and an interpreter, the two men talked for nearly 90 minutes before they rose and walked out together for a few pictures with partygoers and members of Clinton's entourage.

Neither man commented on the substance of their discussions, and there was no indication that Clinton was carrying a particular message to the Russian leader.

:(

via Gakwer

President Unicorn Introduces National Security Team

Robert Gates: Defense Secretary
Hillary Clinton: Secretary of State.
Gen. James Jones: White House National Security Adviser
Eric Holder: Attorney General
Gov. Janet Napolitano: Secretary of Homeland Security
Susan Rice: UN Ambassador

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

Looks like it's a done deal:

Hillary Rodham Clinton has decided to give up her Senate seat and accept the position of secretary of state, making her the public face around the world for the administration of the man who beat her for the Democratic presidential nomination, two confidants said Friday.

Mrs. Clinton came to her decision after additional discussion with President-elect Barack Obama about the nature of her role and his plans for foreign policy, said one of the confidants, who insisted on anonymity to discuss the situation. Mr. Obama’s office told reporters Thursday that the nomination is “on track” but Clinton associates only confirmed Friday afternoon that she has decided.

“She’s ready,” said the confidant. Mrs. Clinton was reassured after talking again with Mr. Obama because their first meeting in Chicago last week “was so general,” the confidant said. The purpose of the follow-up talk, he added, was not to extract particular concessions but “just getting comfortable” with the idea of working together.

Hillary: SOS

Old news by now, but Bosnian War veteran Hillary Clinton has a lot of Secretary of State buzz:

A person close to Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton says she would seriously consider serving as secretary of state if an offer was made — adding, "I wouldn't bet against" her accepting a Cabinet invitation.

Clinton, the person said, had been hearing rumors about the State Department job for about a week, but didn't take it seriously — until Obama's transition team initiated serious discussions in the last day or two.

"She didn't ask for it," added the source. "It was all from their side."

UPDATE: Another Clinton camper says they would, in fact, bet against it.

Speculation about her state of mind at the moment, the source said, is "stupid."


So, what's the one thing that stands in her rise power...as usual?

Bill:

A team of lawyers trying to facilitate the potential nomination spent the weekend looking into Mr. Clinton’s philanthropic organization, interactions with foreign governments and ties to pharmaceutical companies, a Democrat close to both camps said. While Mr. Clinton has used his foundation to champion efforts to fight AIDS, poverty and climate change around the world, he has also taken millions in speaking fees and contributions from foreign officials and businesses with interests in American governmental policies.

Obama advisers are discussing what Mr. Clinton would need to do to avoid a conflict of interest with the duties of his wife, who is said to be interested in the post. “That’s the first and most important hurdle,” said a senior adviser to Mr. Obama. “He does good work. No one wants it to stop, but a structure to avoid conflicts must be thought of.”

Hillary Lost

Class

Not Bad

Once they got past that sappy video montage.

Women Cunt!

HuffPo stalked Hillary Clinton today and listened to a 10 min speech that she held in a dumpster in a seedy downtown Denver alley. With the rest of the hobos.

She spoke to her lady bitters about voting and MoveOn and the Dem party, but def not Barry Hussein.

If this speech is anything like what she'll give tonight, then I'm really gonna have to buy more booze. However, put a sign behind her like this that says "Women Count" and at the right timing (2:33 in this vid) it'll atleast be entertaining.

Day 2 Of Giant Lesbo/Furry/Masochist Orgy 2008

It's Lady Bitter Day because 88 Years ago sluts got the right to vote. This means pandering to Hilltards and letting Thundercunt speak about 18 million crackwhores or something.

Highlight of the day? It's Shirley Franklin time:

Hour #1 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM (LOCAL)
Call to Order
The Honorable Shirley Franklin
Mayor of Atlanta, Georgia

Invocation
Reverend Cynthia Hale
Disciples of Christ - Decatur, Georgia

Presentation of Colors
The American GI Forum
Mile High Chapter, Colorado
Congressionally chartered Mexican-American veterans & civil rights organization

Pledge of Allegiance
Koby Langley
From Fort Mead, Maryland, he received the Bronze Star for leadership in the US Army
Credited with design & implementation of 1st Foreign Torts Claims Policy Act - Iraq

National Anthem
Rocky Mountain Children's Choir
A multicultural, multiracial choir committed to forming community around music

Remarks/Video
The Honorable Eleanor Holmes Norton
Non-voting Member of the US House of Representatives, District of Columbia

Remarks
Ted Sorenson
Special Counsel, advisor and speechwriter to President John F. Kennedy
Researched and drafted Kennedy's "Profiles in Courage"

The Honorable Mike Honda
Member of the US House of Representatives, California

Dr. David Gipp
Member of the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe
President - United Tribes Technical College

The Honorable Linda Sanchez
Member of the US House of Representatives, California

The Honorable Chet Culver
Governor of Iowa

The Honorable David Paterson
Governor of New York

The Honorable Patrick Leahy
US Senator, Vermont

Hour # 2 4:08 PM – 5:00 PM (LOCAL)
Remarks
The Honorable Chris Van Hollen
Member of the US House of Representatives, Maryland

Remarks
Cecile Richards
President of the Planned Parenthood Federation of America
Daughter of the former Governor of Texas, The Honorable Ann Richards

Congressional Black Caucus
The Honorable Carolyn Kilpatrick
Member of the US House of Representatives, Michigan
The Honorable Charles Rangel
Member of the US House of Representatives, New York
The Honorable John Conyers
Member of the US House of Representatives, Michigan
The Honorable Bennie Thompson
Member of the US House of Representatives, Mississippi

Moment of Silence

Video – “In Memoriam”

Remarks
The Honorable Dennis Kucinich
Member of the US House of Representatives, Ohio

The Honorable John Chiang
State Comptroller, California

The Honorable Jim Doyle
Governor of Wisconsin

The Honorable Ted Strickland
Governor of Ohio

DGA - Remarks
The Honorable Joe Manchin
Governor of West Virginia

Hour # 3 5:00 PM – 6:00 PM (LOCAL)
US Senate Women
The Honorable Barbara Mikulski
US Senator, Maryland
The Honorable Barbara Boxer
US Senator, California
The Honorable Mary Landrieu
US Senator, Louisiana
The Honorable Blanche Lambert Lincoln
US Senator, Arizona
The Honorable Debbie Stabenow
US Senator, Michigan
The Honorable Maria Cantwell
US Senator, Washington State
The Honorable Claire McCaskill
US Senator, Missouri
The Honorable Amy Klobuchar
US Senator, Minnesota

Remarks
The Honorable Ed Rendell
Governor of Pennsylvania

The Honorable Tammy Baldwin
Member of the US House of Representatives, Wisconsin

The Honorable Xavier Becerra
Member of the US House of Representatives, California

John Sweeney
President of the AFL-CIO

Robin Golden
Autoworker from Michigan scheduled to lose his job

Video - First Time Delegates: Renewing America's Promise

Remarks
The Honorable Rahm Emanuel
Member of the US House of Representatives, Illinois

Live Performance
Alejandro Escovedo
Vocals & guitar

Hour # 4 6:01 PM – 7:00 PM (LOCAL)
Remarks
The Honorable Steny Hoyer
Member of the US House of Representatives, Maryland
Democratic Majority Leader

Katherine Marcano
Cedar Rapids, Iowa flood victim

Anna Burger
Officer with SEIU & 1st Chair of America's newest labor federation, "Change to Win"

Pauline Beck
Homecare worker & member of SEIU from Oakland, California

The Honorable Janet Napolitano
Governor of Arizona

America’s Town Hall - Economy
Moderator: The Honorable Jennifer Granholm – Governor of Michigan
Panelists: Aimee Christensen, Jim Rogers, Jim Bauer, Jerome Ringo

Remarks
Jim Whitaker
Republican Mayor of Fairbanks, Alaska

Pamela Cash-Roper
Unemployed nurse and lifelong Republican from North Carolina

The Honorable Nydia Velazquez
Member of the US House of Representatives, New York

Hour # 5 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM (LOCAL)
Remarks
The Honorable Kathleen Sebelius
Governor of Kansas

The Honorable Federico Peña
Former Secretary of Energy and former Mayor of Denver, Colorado

Nancy Floyd
Founder of Nth Power – an energy technology investment firm in Portland, Oregon

The Honorable Robert Casey, Jr.
US Senator, Pennsylvania

Lily Ledbetter
Her actions against Goodyear Tire led to the passage of the Fair Pay Restoration Act

Keynote Speech
The Honorable Mark Warner
Governor of Virginia

Remarks
Ret. Rear Admiral John Hutson
President, Franklin Pierce Law Center in Concord, New Hampshire
Lifelong Republican

The Honorable Deval Patrick
Governor of Massachusetts

Hour # 6 8:02 PM – 9:04 PM (LOCAL)
Remarks
Gloria Craven
Laid-off North Carolina textile worker with huge medical bills

The Honorable Brian Schweitzer
Governor of Montana

Hillary Clinton Segment - Video/Remarks
The Honorable Hillary Rodham Clinton
US Senator, New York

Benediction
Revs. Jin Ho Kang, Yoougsook Kang
Methodists - Aurora, Colorado

Recess
The Honorable Shirley Franklin
Mayor of Atlanta, Georgia

Eat It, Cankles

Besides not being chosen as Sen. Unicorn's bottom, Hillary was also slighted by the timing of the text messages sent out this morning. At 3am.

Another explanation for this could be that 3am is dead time and BO really is the Antichrist.

Either way: LOLZ@HILLTARDZBITTERZ&SLUTZ

Obama's Convention Still All About Hillary

Never Forget.

Never Forget that the 2008 Democratic Primary contestant with lady parts is a stupid hobo that spent all of her money on a bitter loser campaign.

So, donate now. The big red button says so.

If you do, there's a chance to can fly out to Denver with Hillary on BitterForce1 and probably get felt up by a drunken Bill on the way.

Bonus Fun: Read the first and only comment so far.

Joe Biden May Or May Not Appear With Clean Articulate Black Man Saturday

Rumors on the internets say that Barry Hussein will appear in Springfield, IL. Saturday astride a magical flaming unicorn with his bottom veep riding bitch.

Meanwhile, Biden says that he's "not the guy." This is because his cat has been threatened by Hillary Clinton.

Today's Hilltard Video

Oh, those silly gays. They just can't quit Thundercunt.

Unless B.A. Barackus accepts his party's nomination with Hillary's head on a pike attached the dias, Hilltards will never surrender.

Someone Please Tell Hillary That She Did Not Win

Thundercunt wants what Thundercunt wants.

Two things:

Her name will be put into the nomination in Denver.

And she's insisted that her own moviefilm people be used to make the Lifetime: Televeision for Women short film documentary that will introduce her before her daughter introduces her before she gives the keynote speech she cried then threatened to shoot BHO to get.


Yet, it's Elizabeth Edwards that has the tata cancers.

Today's Hilltard Video

Is it really in the best interest of Hilltards to reference scenes from Mommie Dearest?