It's 3am And Hillary Can't Answer The Phone

Well, Librul Socialist America. Looks like you may have made the right choice.

SOS Clinton's fragile lady bones are preventing her from doing President Unicorn's busy work:


Secretary of State Hillary Clinton canceled a planned trip to Greece and Italy this week because she is still recovering from surgery to repair her fractured elbow.

In Trieste, Italy, Clinton planned to attend meetings with her Group ofEight counterparts on Iran, the Middle East peace process and the War inAfghanistan. She also planned to take part in a gathering of the Organizationfor Security and Cooperation in Europe in Corfu, Greece, which was expected to focus on the tensions between Russia and Georgia.

Hillary Clinton Hates Mexican Jesus

Add Glitter to Pictures



Vaya Con Dios:

During her recent visit to Mexico, U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton made an unexpected stop at the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe and left a bouquet of white flowers “on behalf of the American people,” after asking who painted the famous image.

The image of Our Lady of Guadalupe was miraculously imprinted by Mary on the tilma, or cloak, of St. Juan Diego in 1531. The image has numerous unexplainable phenomena, such as the appearance on Mary’s eyes of those present in the room when the tilma was opened and the image’s lack of decay.

Mrs. Clinton was received on Thursday at 8:15 a.m. by the rector of the Basilica, Msgr. Diego Monroy.

Msgr. Monroy took Mrs. Clinton to the famous image of Our Lady of Guadalupe, which had been previously lowered from its usual altar for the occasion.

After observing it for a while, Mrs. Clinton asked “who painted it?” to which Msgr. Monroy responded “God!”

Just Stop With The Gifts Already

Seriously.

You'd figure that after DVD Gate, US officials would wise up and save a fucking buck or two. We're in a recession, you know.

Friday, SOS Cankles McGee met with Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov in Geneva, bringing along a present. Inside was a red button (are we the only ones who see something terribly macabre about this?) with a very special message printed on it. Things went downhill from there:

When it comes to Russia, the Obama administration has been talking about “pressing the reset button.” It’s meant to symbolize a possible new start in U.S./Russian relations, which “crashed” after Russia invaded Georgia last August.

So when Secretary of State Hillary Clinton greeted Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov in Geneva Friday before sitting down to their working dinner, she was all smiles when she presented him a small green box with a ribbon.

Lavrov opened it and, inside, there was a red button with the Russian word “peregruzka” printed on it.

"I would like to present you with a little gift that represents what President Obama and Vice President Biden and I have been saying and that is: 'We want to reset our relationship, and so we will do it together.' …

"We worked hard to get the right Russian word. Do you think we got it?" she asked Lavrov, laughing.

“You got it wrong," said Lavrov, as both diplomats laughed.

“It should be “perezagruzka” [the Russian word for reset]," said Lavrov."This says ‘peregruzka,’ which means ‘overcharged.’”


We recommend that our goverment just stop handing out gifts all together. If you really feel compelled to hand out stupid shit to any Joe Blow with an accent, try fruit cake. Or a Snuggie. Or booze.

President Unicorn Introduces National Security Team

Robert Gates: Defense Secretary
Hillary Clinton: Secretary of State.
Gen. James Jones: White House National Security Adviser
Eric Holder: Attorney General
Gov. Janet Napolitano: Secretary of Homeland Security
Susan Rice: UN Ambassador

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

Looks like it's a done deal:

Hillary Rodham Clinton has decided to give up her Senate seat and accept the position of secretary of state, making her the public face around the world for the administration of the man who beat her for the Democratic presidential nomination, two confidants said Friday.

Mrs. Clinton came to her decision after additional discussion with President-elect Barack Obama about the nature of her role and his plans for foreign policy, said one of the confidants, who insisted on anonymity to discuss the situation. Mr. Obama’s office told reporters Thursday that the nomination is “on track” but Clinton associates only confirmed Friday afternoon that she has decided.

“She’s ready,” said the confidant. Mrs. Clinton was reassured after talking again with Mr. Obama because their first meeting in Chicago last week “was so general,” the confidant said. The purpose of the follow-up talk, he added, was not to extract particular concessions but “just getting comfortable” with the idea of working together.

Hillary: SOS

Old news by now, but Bosnian War veteran Hillary Clinton has a lot of Secretary of State buzz:

A person close to Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton says she would seriously consider serving as secretary of state if an offer was made — adding, "I wouldn't bet against" her accepting a Cabinet invitation.

Clinton, the person said, had been hearing rumors about the State Department job for about a week, but didn't take it seriously — until Obama's transition team initiated serious discussions in the last day or two.

"She didn't ask for it," added the source. "It was all from their side."

UPDATE: Another Clinton camper says they would, in fact, bet against it.

Speculation about her state of mind at the moment, the source said, is "stupid."


So, what's the one thing that stands in her rise power...as usual?

Bill:

A team of lawyers trying to facilitate the potential nomination spent the weekend looking into Mr. Clinton’s philanthropic organization, interactions with foreign governments and ties to pharmaceutical companies, a Democrat close to both camps said. While Mr. Clinton has used his foundation to champion efforts to fight AIDS, poverty and climate change around the world, he has also taken millions in speaking fees and contributions from foreign officials and businesses with interests in American governmental policies.

Obama advisers are discussing what Mr. Clinton would need to do to avoid a conflict of interest with the duties of his wife, who is said to be interested in the post. “That’s the first and most important hurdle,” said a senior adviser to Mr. Obama. “He does good work. No one wants it to stop, but a structure to avoid conflicts must be thought of.”