Levi Has More Stuff To Say.....Shirtless

GQ, the closeted man's Undergear, hung out with snowbilly hottie Levi Johnston to talk about trucks, hunting, sluts, and those crazy crackers that almost resided at Number One Observatory Circle.

The whole piece is a great read, but here's just a taste:

In Alaska you heard two competing takes on the Bristol-Levi affair. One was the “under the bus” narrative, held to by the Levi camp. In this story, Levi loves a girl, she gets pregnant, he gives up high school and hockey so he can provide for her and the baby. When it suits their political purposes, the family embraces him and essentially puts him forward as a son-in-law. When his meager political value is spent, they do what most normal parents would do and discourage the daughter from marrying him, in hopes that she can get back on with her future. He’s frozen out of the family. They won’t let him see the baby except for a few hours at a time. They won’t let the baby sleep at his house. His visits at the Palins’ are awkward. He can’t bond with the baby. He’d said to me,

Just going over there makes me pretty damn uncomfortable. I would call and say, “Can I pick him up?” It was, “No, you can’t have him, but you can come see him.” Just going over there, and Todd and Sarah sitting there staring at me, doesn’t do it for me. Todd never says anything, really. Sarah, I don’t know. She’s a politician. She knows how to throw in a fake smile and look happy. They’re pretty good at that.



via GQ

Listen To This Slut Talk About Not Engaging In Sluttery

Good Morning America! Here is Alaskan teen crackers' fav cum dumpster, Bristol Palin, rapping about the sex and how it's a bad thing to do. Even though she has sexed many many Eskimo meth manufacturers.

Bristol is now the Teen Ambassador for an organization called "Candie's Foundation" which is an online cathouse for white trash. She wants teens to stop having sex....right now!

Not to be outdone, Levi "you know you think about me in the shower" Johnston appeared on CBS this same morning to say abstinence might be cool and all (for losers), but sometimes you just can't help where you put it......even if it's in the portal to one of our universe's famed genetic junkyards:


Watch CBS Videos Online

Trigg, Tripp. They're Both Retarded Stupid Names

Who cares if it's true. This has the smell of Paultard paranoia all over it:

This is NOT a photo of Levi with Tripp Johnston, allegedly born December 27, 2008.

This is a photo of Levi Johnston cradling tenderly Trig Palin, allegedly born April 18, 2008. It was taken the same day as the photos that Mercede put up on her MySpace page, some time before May 5th 2008.

Why in the world would this photo be selected for release on the Tyra Banks show unless Mercede is trying to send us a message, loud and clear? Surely, if Tripp IS Levi's child (and Trig is the son of his ex future mother-in-law) there would be no earthly reason to release photos of Trig with Levi on a show that was supposed to be about current events, i.e., Tripp's birth and the current relationship with Tripp's mother. But.. someone in the Johnston clan selected this photo. Of Levi cuddling Trig. Now almost a year ago. Intentionally. So I... and other "anonymous bloggers..." would see it. And we have.

Mercede, message received. Thank you.


This one is worth a whirl, too.

Just Go On Fucking Springer Already

Hunky snowbilly Levi Johnston appeared on the Tyra Banks Show to talk about the worst mistake in his life knocking up Bristol Palin. Levi, dressed as a Walmart greeter, claimed Bible Spice knew he was boning her daughter and swore he was using protection when he stuck his hose in her somewhat famous septic tank.

For your sake, Levi, we hope you did.

As expected, the Alaskan Snowcunt was enraged and fired off an angry statement from the Governors' mansion, which is a collection of interconnected trailers with a couple of igloos for turrets:

After taking about sex on The Tyra Banks Show, Johnston – the 18-year-old father of Bristol Palin's baby – was hit with a blistering response from Bristol's mother, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin.

"Bristol did not even know Levi was going on the show. We're disappointed that Levi and his family, in a quest for fame, attention, and fortune, are engaging in flat-out lies, gross exaggeration, and even distortion of their relationship," says the statement from the Palin family rep.

"Bristol's focus will remain on raising Tripp, completing her education, and advocating abstinence," the statement continues. "It is unfortunate that Levi finds it more appealing to exploit his previous relationship with Bristol than to contribute to the well being of the child."

The statement ends, saying, "Bristol realizes now that she made a mistake in her relationship and is the one taking responsibility for their actions."



Whatever, skank.

Anywho...about the same time Bible Spice is being all judgemental and shit, her sister-in-law, Diana Palin, was arrested for robbing some guy's house multiple times WHILE BRINGING HER 4YO DAUGHTER ALONG FOR THE FUNNERY.

Kids, these are the dangers of living in Alaska.....and meth.

From NYDN:

Citing an affidavit filed Friday, the Alaskan newspaper reported that Diana Palin (half sister to Sarah Palin's husband, Todd) was caught by the homeowner, Theodore Turcott, who was hiding in his bathroom with a gun. He found Palin going straight to a bedroom cabinet where he had kept his cash in the past.

Turcott has been robbed several times in the last few weeks. He lost $2,200 in a robbery on March 26, and nearly $400 on March 31.

Palin's four-year-old daughter, who had been waiting in a 1993 Toyota Camery during the Thursday incident, entered the house shortly before police arrived as the scene, the prosecutor stated during a hearing on Friday. The affidavit read that the girl told police she had been to the house days before with her mother. Diana Palin denied this, the Daily News said, and claimed she mistook the house for a friend's place.

According to the Daily News, Diana Palin was hit with felony burglary charges, along with misdemeanor theft and criminal trespass, regarding the March 31 and April 2 incidents.

Governor Palin and her family have declined to comment on the matter.


Further info here.

Levi Johnston Is One Hot Cracker

Sorry, just is.

From GMA:

Levi Johnston, the former fiance of Bristol Palin, says the couple broke up "a week, two weeks" ago but leaves open the possibility that they could reunite.

"We'll see, we'll see how it is," Johnston, 19, said March 13 in an exclusive interview at his Alaska home with Neal Karlinsky of "Good Morning America." "We'll just remain friends for now. We're both cool with that decision, and we'll see."

For the first time, Johnston described the circumstances of his split with Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's eldest daughter, and talked about becoming a father.

"We were just, we were in a fight," the teen said. "And trying to see if we can make things work. But this is what it kind of ended up turning into. But we'll see what happens."

Congratulations, Gents. Bristol's Back On The Market

If you were planning on a quick stop by Cracker Barrel's gift shop, turn the car around. Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston have cancelled their wedding registry and are splitting up.

Yesterday, Star Magazine reported that the two snowbillies called it quits:

The teen love affair that rocked last year's presidential race is over.
Sarah Palin's daughter, Bristol, has ditched her baby daddy, Levi Johnston!

Now's Levi's sister, Mercede is telling all exclusively to Star and the picture she paints of life in Wasilla, Alaska is not a pretty one. Bristol, 18, has virtually cut Levi out of the life of their two-month-old son Tripp.

"Levi tries to visit Tripp every single day, but Bristol makes it nearly impossible. She tells him he can't take the baby to our house because she doesn't want him around 'white trash'!" Bristol won't even allow him to watch the baby for a few hours -- unless he's babysitting!

The worst part, Mercede continues, is that the former vice presidential candidate supports Bristol's treatment of Levi, 19. "I used to love Sarah," Mercede says sadly. "But I've lost lots of respect for her."


The AP has confirmed the story:

Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin, the teenage daughter of Gov. Sarah Palin, have broken off their engagement, he said Wednesday, about 2 1/2 months after the couple had a baby. Johnston, 19, told The Associated Press that he and 18-year-old Bristol Palin mutually decided "a while ago" to end their relationship. He declined to elaborate as he stood outside his family's home in Wasilla, about 40 miles north of Anchorage.

He also said some details of the breakup, rumors of which had been swirling on the Internet, were inaccurate.

Bristol Palin said in a statement that she was devastated about a report on Star magazine's Web site that quoted Levi's sister, Mercede, as saying Bristol "makes it nearly impossible" to visit the teenagers' infant son, Tripp. The baby was born Dec. 27.

"Unfortunately, my family has seen many people say and do many things to `cash in' on the Palin name," said the statement, which was issued through the governor's political action committee. "Sometimes that greed clouds good judgment and the truth."


In summary: Joe the plumber is stoked that he has a shot at marrying in to the Palin clan and we're stoked we saved the receipts for the "His and Her" camo towels and that case of Natty we bought as wedding gifts.

Bible Spice's Thoughts On Motherdom

Since we spent most of the holidays in a drunken stupor, plenty of good stories were missed.

The big news (besides Israel being a real grumpypants) is that there's a new addition to the Palin litter. Sarah Palin got her second FIRST grandchild from Levi and Bristol.

What does the failed flautist/VP have to say?

"We are over the moon with the arrival of this healthy, beautiful baby," Governor Palin said. "The road ahead for this young couple will not be easy, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy. Bristol and Levi are committed to accomplish what millions of other young parents have accomplished, to provide a loving and secure environment for their child. They are both hard workers, they're very strong, and have faith they've made the right decision in setting aside their own interests to make this child their highest priority."

Palin added, "When Bristol and Levi first told us the shocking news that she was pregnant, to be honest, we all at first looked at the situation with some fear and a bit of despair. Isn't it just like God to turn those circumstances into such an amazing, joyful blessing when you ask Him to help you through?"

Bristol Palin said she "obviously discourages" teen pregnancy and knows that plans she previously made for herself will now forever be changed. "Teenagers need to prevent pregnancy to begin with - this isn't ideal. But I'm fortunate to have a supportive family which is dealing with this together. Tripp is so perfectly precious; we love him with all our hearts. I can't imagine life without him now."

via HuffBlow

That Fuckin' Redneck Has Stuff To Say

Alaska's favorite enemy combatant domestic hostage first son-in-law strung a few words together for the liberal media:

Levi Johnston, who's having a baby with Gov. Sarah Palin's daughter, can't believe all the things he's hearing.

No, he wasn't held against his will on the campaign trail. No, he's not being forced into a shotgun wedding with 17-year-old Bristol Palin.

"None of that's true," Johnston, 18, said in a rare interview with The Associated Press. "We both love each other. We both want to marry each other. And that's what we are going to do."

...The soft-spoken teenager discussed his relationship with Palin and how life has changed with fatherhood fast approaching. He agreed to talk despite the presidential campaign's advice in the days following Gov. Sarah Palin's nomination to avoid the media.

"They're not telling me anything right now," Johnston said as he checked his Blackberry. "It's pretty chill."

Not surprisingly, Johnston was a little shocked when he learned about Bristol's pregnancy, but he says he quickly embraced the prospects of fatherhood. The baby is due Dec. 18. Johnston has dropped out of high school to take a job on the North Slope oil fields as an apprentice electrician.

...Johnston hinted he's expecting a boy, but he declined to discuss baby names.

"I'm looking forward to having him," he said. "I'm going to take him hunting and fishing. He'll be everywhere with me."

Johnston, a Wasilla heartthrob, said he wanted to set the record straight.

For starters, he said his much-maligned MySpace page was a joke _ the one that claimed he said: "I'm a ... redneck," and "I don't want kids." Johnston said his friends created the page a few years ago and he had nothing to do with it.

Johnston said he has dated Palin since his freshman year in high school.

"We were planning on getting married a long time ago with or without the kid," he said. "That was the plan from the start."

...The young man said he wasn't an expert on politics by any stretch. Asked about Barack Obama, he replied: "I don't know anything about him. He seems like a good guy. I like him."

Johnston didn't register in time to vote, according to the Mat-Su Division of Elections Office in Wasilla. But he's still rooting for John McCain and Sarah Palin.

"I just hope she wins," he said. "She's my future mother-in-law. She better win."

Andrew Sullivan's "Dear WALNUTS!" Letter

Sully wrote John McCain's campaign an email asking them to admit that Sarah Palin is a big liar and that little slow baby of "hers" is actually her daughter's:

Blogger Andrew Sullivan has been drawing flak in the online world for expressing skepticism about the circumstances surrounding the governor's pregnancy. He first weighed in on the question back on Aug. 31, when Internet rumors were swirling that 4-month-old Trig Palin may have been born not to the veep nominee, but to her 17-year-old daughter Bristol. A day later, the McCain campaign announced that Bristol Palin was five months pregnant, seemingly diffusing any controversy about Trig's birth.

Here's part of Sullivan's original Atlantic post on the topic: "The circumstantial evidence for weirdness around this pregnancy is so great that legitimate questions arise -- questions anyone with common sense would ask. The answers to those questions can easily be provided. . .

"Why would a 43-year-old woman, on her fifth pregnancy, with a Down Syndrome child, after her amniotic fluid has started to leak, not go to the nearest hospital immediately, even if she was in Texas for a speech? . . . Why did the flight attendants on the trip home say she bore no signs of being pregnant?"

Last week, Sullivan, a British conservative who became disgusted with the Bush administration and is a passionate advocate for Barack Obama, sent an e-mail query to the McCain campaign:

"I'm very sorry to say, it's come to this: can you confirm on the record that Trig Palin is Sarah Palin's biological son? . . . Since this is a crazy idea, it should be easy for you or someone to let me know, the most popular one-man political blog site in the world, what the truth is."

A day later, he followed up with a second note: "I asked a simple question akin to asking whether you can confirm that the sky is blue. Here's the question in case it got lost: can you confirm on the record that Trig Palin is Sarah Palin's biological son? Can I please get a response of some sort, even if it is that you will not respond?" The McCain camp, which provided the messages to The Washington Post, did not reply.

#'s 8 and 9

Now THIS Is Funny

From Politico:

South Carolina Democratic chairwoman Carol Fowler sharply attacked Sarah Palin today, saying John McCain had chosen a running mate " whose primary qualification seems to be that she hasn’t had an abortion.”

Vanity Fair On Palin Baby Bonanza

View the rest here.

More Uncut Palin Vlogs

The Baby

Again, from Sully:

Did I just see Cindy holding Trig? I mean: can we have it one way or the other? Either the family is out of bounds or it is in the spotlight. Brandishing a child with Down Syndrome as a campaign statement is daring the press to ask questions about him.

John McCain Totally Wants To 3way With Bristol Palin And Levi Johnston

Hey everybody, WALNUTS! is in town!!!

Sarah Palin and her family of 1000 Alaskan snowchildren met the decrepit old fuck at the airport in St. Paul. Skip to the 1:00 mark form some really creepy sensual touching.

Lindsay Lohan Has Things To Say/Slur About Palin Baby Bonanza

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Read this shit:

When SamRo's away, LiLo will blog. Last night, Lindsay Lohan took to her blog for help locating Dixie cups of marble ice cream before Samantha Ronson returned home and then finished up the entry by dedicating a song to her girl with the lyric "I've been saved by a woman." Yeah, pretty typical stuff.

So that's why we were caught off guard when Linds offered up a particularly fair and balanced political entry this morning. The topic at hand: Republican V.P. candidate Sarah Palin and all that baby drama surrounding her 17-year-old daughter.

Lindsay writes: "I think the real problem comes from the fact that we are taking the focus off of getting to know Sarah Palin and her political views, and what she can do to make our country a less destructive place. Its distracting from the real issues, the real everyday problems that this country experiences."

Today's Godtube Moment

Still sticking with this whole Palin Baby Bonanza thing.....

Some pregnant slut wants to do her part for population control until the Ghost of Greasy Faced Rape Baby Future appears and fucks everything up.

Meet The Guy Who Will Actually Fess Up To Making Another Palin Baby

His name is Levi Johnston and he's the whoremonger who knocked up Sarah Palin's daughter, Bristol, for the second time.

The NY Post has an excerpt from his Myspace page:

On his MySpace page, Johnston boasts, "I'm a f - - -in' redneck" who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes.

"But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some s- - - and just f - - -in' chillin' I guess."

"Ya f - - - with me I'll kick [your] ass," he added.

He also claims to be "in a relationship," but states, "I don't want kids."

In case you where wondering, he will attend the convention, get loaded and sodomize the Bush twins with moose antlers in the VIP box.