CNN Says Barack Obama Is A Big Dumb Dumb Dummy Monster Tard

Pretty much.

CNN is concerned that President Unicorn isn't reading enough:


It appears President Obama has to step up his reading pace if he wants to beat his predecessor in one particular measure: how many books a president can polish off a year.

In an interview with the BBC Tuesday, Obama said he is currently reading Joseph O'Neill's 270-page novel "Netherland," a book Obama first said he began back in April.

If Obama is close to finishing the novel, that puts him on less than a 10 book-a-year pace, far less than the close to 100 books President Bush was reportedly able to finish in the same amount of time.

According to former top Bush aide Karl Rove, he and the former president engaged in a friendly wager every year to see who could read more books.

In 2006, Bush read 95 books to Roves 110: a Herculean pace of nearly two books a week — in an election year to boot — for the ex-president. But, according to Rove, Bush's reading slowed a bit in the final years of his presidency, finishing a not-too-shabby 51 books in 2007 and at least 40 in 2008.

And if that's not impressive enough, Rove also said Bush found time to read the Bible "from cover to cover" every year.



Never mind that we will all be hobos in about 3 weeks and that crazy Chinaman who wears platform shoes has missles and stuff.

via CNN

NOM Afraid Of Books And Field Trips

Here is the National Organization for Marriage's latest ad.

It features a voice-over by Foghorn Leghorn warning New York residents about the dangers of gay marriage, such as books in Massachusetts and school outings in California. Gasp!

Also, it seems that gay people will steal your wedding photos.

All that's missing is Foghorn saying "There's something kind of 'eee-yew' about a boy who doesn't like baseball." (skip to about the :40 mark)

via Towleroad

#'s 8 and 9

Well, Fuck You Too

Famous writer of fiction for pedarists, Jim Webb, has announced that he hates Hope™, therefore hating Freedom:

You can officially scratch off Sen. Jim Webb's name from the list of Barack Obama's potential running mates.

The freshmen senator from Virginia and onetime Republican said unequivocally Monday he does not want to be the Illinois senator's No. 2.

"Last week I communicated to Senator Obama and his presidential campaign my firm intention to remain in the United States Senate, where I believe I am best equipped to serve the people of Virginia and this country," Webb said in an issued statement. “Under no circumstances will I be a candidate for Vice President."

BREAKING NEWS: Panama Shitty Gets Some Books

Above is a video of the grand opening of the Bay County Public Library located in Panama Shitty.

They have a couple of books, some of those crazy picture boxes with typewriters, and lots and lots of empty space for hobos to pretend they're reading while they piss in the corner.

Watch the whole thing for a musical act that you'll never forget. No matter how hard you try.

via Panama Shitty News Herald

Timing Is Everything

From Ambinder:

How 'bout that? Sen. Jim Webb's new book will be released on May 15, just as reporters like me start to speculate about his chances of becoming Sen. Barack Obama's vice presidential nominee

...The timing, again, is impeccable: right when Obama is starting to look around, ah, here's a guy who can go toe-to-toe with John McCain on national security, is beloved by white working class voters, puts Virginia into play instantly, and has a charming way with the media.

You're Going To Be Gay

From mydesert.com:

"Stereotypes are funny," said Shann Carr, stirring a cup of tea at Michael's Diner in Rancho Mirage.

She flips her book open to a page of a girl in a football uniform.

"It might not be politically correct, but sometimes stereotypes are there for a reason," she said.

Carr, a lesbian stand-up comedian, is the author of a new book, "You're Going to be Gay!"

She points to a photo of a boy in a spandex figure skating outfit.

"I mean, come on!" she laughed. "He knew!"

The soft-cover book contains the childhood photos of 50 gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender adults, alongside funny quotes about growing up gay.

BREAKING NEWS: Michelle Obama Wrote teh Koran

photo via AP

Websites that are bored with Juan McCain's 2nd black baby are now latching on to another pointless story. Dating back to 1985:

Michelle Obama's senior year thesis at Princeton University, obtained exclusively from the campaign by Politico, shows a document written by a young woman grappling with a society in which a black Princeton alumnus might only be allowed to remain "on the periphery."

..."My experiences at Princeton have made me far more aware of my 'blackness' than ever before," the future Mrs. Obama wrote in her thesis introduction. "I have found that at Princeton, no matter how liberal and open-minded some of my white professors and classmates try to be toward me, I sometimes feel like a visitor on campus; as if I really don't belong. Regardless of the circumstances underwhich I interact with whites at Princeton, it often seems as if, to them, I will always be black first and a student second."

So, you see? Michelle Obama is BLACK. Get it? She's BLACK BLACK BLACK.

Jesus Fucking Christ. You'd think that America would be happy to have a First Lady that could actually write, as opposed to a First Lady who spent an entire career categorizing things that people write.

You can view the PDF version of the thesis here. It's seriously really good reading.

via Politico