Levi Has More Stuff To Say.....Shirtless

GQ, the closeted man's Undergear, hung out with snowbilly hottie Levi Johnston to talk about trucks, hunting, sluts, and those crazy crackers that almost resided at Number One Observatory Circle.

The whole piece is a great read, but here's just a taste:

In Alaska you heard two competing takes on the Bristol-Levi affair. One was the “under the bus” narrative, held to by the Levi camp. In this story, Levi loves a girl, she gets pregnant, he gives up high school and hockey so he can provide for her and the baby. When it suits their political purposes, the family embraces him and essentially puts him forward as a son-in-law. When his meager political value is spent, they do what most normal parents would do and discourage the daughter from marrying him, in hopes that she can get back on with her future. He’s frozen out of the family. They won’t let him see the baby except for a few hours at a time. They won’t let the baby sleep at his house. His visits at the Palins’ are awkward. He can’t bond with the baby. He’d said to me,

Just going over there makes me pretty damn uncomfortable. I would call and say, “Can I pick him up?” It was, “No, you can’t have him, but you can come see him.” Just going over there, and Todd and Sarah sitting there staring at me, doesn’t do it for me. Todd never says anything, really. Sarah, I don’t know. She’s a politician. She knows how to throw in a fake smile and look happy. They’re pretty good at that.



via GQ

Bible Spice's Thoughts On Motherdom

Since we spent most of the holidays in a drunken stupor, plenty of good stories were missed.

The big news (besides Israel being a real grumpypants) is that there's a new addition to the Palin litter. Sarah Palin got her second FIRST grandchild from Levi and Bristol.

What does the failed flautist/VP have to say?

"We are over the moon with the arrival of this healthy, beautiful baby," Governor Palin said. "The road ahead for this young couple will not be easy, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy. Bristol and Levi are committed to accomplish what millions of other young parents have accomplished, to provide a loving and secure environment for their child. They are both hard workers, they're very strong, and have faith they've made the right decision in setting aside their own interests to make this child their highest priority."

Palin added, "When Bristol and Levi first told us the shocking news that she was pregnant, to be honest, we all at first looked at the situation with some fear and a bit of despair. Isn't it just like God to turn those circumstances into such an amazing, joyful blessing when you ask Him to help you through?"

Bristol Palin said she "obviously discourages" teen pregnancy and knows that plans she previously made for herself will now forever be changed. "Teenagers need to prevent pregnancy to begin with - this isn't ideal. But I'm fortunate to have a supportive family which is dealing with this together. Tripp is so perfectly precious; we love him with all our hearts. I can't imagine life without him now."

via HuffBlow

Andrew Sullivan's "Dear WALNUTS!" Letter

Sully wrote John McCain's campaign an email asking them to admit that Sarah Palin is a big liar and that little slow baby of "hers" is actually her daughter's:

Blogger Andrew Sullivan has been drawing flak in the online world for expressing skepticism about the circumstances surrounding the governor's pregnancy. He first weighed in on the question back on Aug. 31, when Internet rumors were swirling that 4-month-old Trig Palin may have been born not to the veep nominee, but to her 17-year-old daughter Bristol. A day later, the McCain campaign announced that Bristol Palin was five months pregnant, seemingly diffusing any controversy about Trig's birth.

Here's part of Sullivan's original Atlantic post on the topic: "The circumstantial evidence for weirdness around this pregnancy is so great that legitimate questions arise -- questions anyone with common sense would ask. The answers to those questions can easily be provided. . .

"Why would a 43-year-old woman, on her fifth pregnancy, with a Down Syndrome child, after her amniotic fluid has started to leak, not go to the nearest hospital immediately, even if she was in Texas for a speech? . . . Why did the flight attendants on the trip home say she bore no signs of being pregnant?"

Last week, Sullivan, a British conservative who became disgusted with the Bush administration and is a passionate advocate for Barack Obama, sent an e-mail query to the McCain campaign:

"I'm very sorry to say, it's come to this: can you confirm on the record that Trig Palin is Sarah Palin's biological son? . . . Since this is a crazy idea, it should be easy for you or someone to let me know, the most popular one-man political blog site in the world, what the truth is."

A day later, he followed up with a second note: "I asked a simple question akin to asking whether you can confirm that the sky is blue. Here's the question in case it got lost: can you confirm on the record that Trig Palin is Sarah Palin's biological son? Can I please get a response of some sort, even if it is that you will not respond?" The McCain camp, which provided the messages to The Washington Post, did not reply.

Just Kidding. Here's Another Baby Story.

From Ben Smith:

Palin's 17-year old daughter is pregnant, and plans to marry the father, the campaign says.

What a strange campaign this is.

UPDATE: The Palins' statement:

We have been blessed with five wonderful children who we love with all our heart and mean everything to us. Our beautiful daughter Bristol came to us with news that as parents we knew would make her grow up faster than we had ever planned. We're proud of Bristol's decision to have her baby and even prouder to become grandparents. As Bristol faces the responsibilities of adulthood, she knows she has our unconditional love and support.

Bristol and the young man she will marry are going to realize very quickly the difficulties of raising a child, which is why they will have the love and support of our entire family. We ask the media to respect our daughter and Levi's privacy as has always been the tradition of children of candidates.

Crazy Racist Aunt Only Likes Ghost Dad

As far as brown people go. Here's a delightful forward I received yesterday, using the words of Bill Cosby to spread her irrational hate of the Mooslim Jesus, St. Barack of Obama:

Sent: Saturday, August 02, 2008 7:41 PM
Subject: Fw: He should be our first Black President



He should be our first Black President

Here is the guy that should be our first Black President


'They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English. I can't even talk the way these people talk:

Why you ain't,

Where you is,

What he drive,

Where he stay,

Where he work,

Who you be...

And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.

And then I heard the father talk.

Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.

In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living. People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an education, and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around.

The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal..

These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids. $500 sneakers for what??

And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.

I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit.

Where were you when he was 2??

Where were you when he was 12??

Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't know that he had a pistol??

And where is the father?? Or who is his father?

People putting their clothes on backward:

Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong?

People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn't that a sign of something?

Or are you waiting for Jesus to pull his pants up?

Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body?

What part of Africa did this come from??

We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don't know a thing about Africa .

With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap, and all of them are in jail.

Brown or Black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem. We have got to take the neighborhood back.

People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different 'husbands' -- or men or whatever you call them now.

We have millionaire football players who cannot read.

We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs. We, as black folks have to do a better job. Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.

We have to start holding each other to a higher standard.

We cannot blame the white people any longer.'

Dr.. William Henry 'Bill' Cosby, Jr., Ed.D.


WAY TO GO, BILL !!

It's NOT about color... It's about behavior!!!

PASS THIS ON


Anyone with half a brain could come to the same conclusion as my aunt: Barack Obama invented ebonics and baggy pants and has fathered over 1 million illegitimate black crack babies. BILL COSBY FOR PRESIDENT!!! PASS THIS ON!!!

Cindy McCain To Steal More African Black Babies

Unsatisfied with her current collection, John's trollopcunt is going window shopping for yet another negro Hummel to fill that void in her curio cabinet.

PS: Someone tell UNICEF to padlock their med stash.

Elderly John McCain To Lead Brave Army Of Babies

Elderly Candidate To Run Over Global Warming In Grocery Store

via John McCain's crazy picture box with a typewriter

Elderly Juan McCain Threw W Under The Bus

Famous Greek beard Arianna Huffington has just released a shocking revalation. It seems that eight years after the fact, she wants to tell us that both she and the elderly Juan McCain were in attendance at a liberal elitist baby-eating dinner party in LA. WALNUTS! confided in her that he did not vote for George W Bush in 2000. Neither did Cindy McVicodin, who was still fuming after W and Karl Rove had aborted their black baby in South Carolina:

At a dinner party in Los Angeles not long after the 2000 election, I was talking to a man and his wife, both prominent Republicans. The conversation soon turned to the new president. "I didn't vote for George Bush" the man confessed. "I didn't either," his wife added. Their names: John and Cindy McCain (Cindy told me she had cast a write-in vote for her husband).

The fact that this man was so angry at what George Bush had done to him, and at what Bush represented for their party, that he did not even vote for him in 2000 shows just how far he has fallen since then in his hunger for the presidency. By abandoning his core principles and embracing Bush -- both literally and metaphorically -- he has morphed into an older and crankier version of the man he couldn't stomach voting for in 2000.

via HuffPo

John McCain Apologizes For Killing MLK

Here's a video of the elderly Juan McCain speaking at the Lorraine Motel in Memphis today, the anniversary of the assassination of MLK.

He was booed.

You see, my friends, McWALNUTS! voted against the 1983 bill (along with Jesse Helms)that created MLK Day. A bill that Dick Cheney and L. Ron Paultard voted for.

He also apologized for piloting the La Amistad, and for sexing one of his many slaves on the McCain plantation back in the 1800's which produced the infamous South Carolina black baby.




Note to WALNUTS!: When apologzing for voting against MLK Day, you might not wanna have a black man holding your umbrella.

W Gives WALNUTS! Endorsement

"This is my friend. Call him shorty. heh heh. Went to Vietnamistan. Got hurt. Can't raise his arms above his head. Real easy to play keep away. heh heh. A true American hero. Won't back down to our enemies. He's old. Got a black baby. He's a senator, from Ar-i-zona. Smells like my mom. heh heh."

Local Paper Wants in on McCain's Many Non-Morman Wives Story

Usually I read my local paper just for the funny stories about goat fuckers or how Baby Jeebus should teach science classes.

Not today, my friends.

We've got a real scoop about Solomon Juan McCain's many many wives:

That McCain divorced his first wife in 1980 and shortly thereafter married into money and launched his political career isn’t news to anyone who’s followed his rise to the expected GOP nomination.
But the fact that the Arizona senator’s divorce occurred in Okaloosa County might surprise some people.

Okay, but I haven't read anything about donkey punching lobbyists or black babies so far. How does this relate to me?

McCain’s divorce is likely to become fodder for discussion following a story last week in The New York Times that suggests McCain may have had an inappropriate relationship with lobbyist Vicki Iseman during his first presidential campaign in 2000.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. So you just mention the lobbyist's name in the story, making a perfect segue.

Carry on:

McCain, 71, has never denied that he was involved in an extra-marital affair when he filed to divorce his first wife, Carol, in January 1980. McCain was a U.S. Navy officer stationed in Jacksonville at the time.
Carol McCain, Internet reports state, had been disfigured in an automobile accident while McCain was a prisoner of war in Vietnam. Their marriage did not survive long after his return.
He met Cindy Hensley, a former cheerleader whose family ran one of the country’s largest Anheuser-Bush distributorships, at a reception in Hawaii in 1979, according to numerous accounts.
Fort Walton Beach attorney Bud Day, a Medal of Honor recipient and a prisoner of war with McCain in North Vietnam, drew up McCain’s divorce papers.


OMGEEZ!!! MIKANE DEVORSUD N MY SITTY!!!!

Thanks, Daily News!!!

You can read the divorce settlement here. If it matters that much to you.

I'll just stick to making cheap black baby/white lobbyist sexy time jokes.

via NWF Daily News

Serbs Hate Juan McCain's Black Baby

From MSNBC:

Protesters broke into the U.S. embassy in Belgrade on Thursday and set fires, cheered on by crowds outside rallying against U.S. support for Kosovo's independence.

Masked attackers broke into the U.S. compound, which has been closed this week, and tried to throw furniture from an office. They set fire to the office and flames shot up the side of the building. Fire trucks arrived after the rioters had fled and swiftly put out the fire.

via MSNBC

About That Black Baby

It's not a black baby.

As referred to last night, the NY Times claims that former aids to WALNUTS! have insinuated the existance of a tryst between the elderly gent and a lobbyist named Vicki Iseman. The Times also claims Iseman received favors from McCain and committee he chaired.

WALNUTS! responds this morning:



We'll see how long this story lasts. Go to any major news site and it's their screaming headline. Kinda sad. :(

brickbat will try and leave it at this, but will def keep making cheap jokes until a better scandal comes along.

via Washington Post

Juan McCain's New Black Baby

Read.

We'll discuss tomorrow.

via blahblahblackbabyblah