Westboro Not Going Anywhere According To Crazy Rant On Site

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About a month ago, Towleroad speculated about a Westboro Baptist Church mass suicide because of a cryptic blog entry that went a little something like this:

We are particularly urgent about it, because the time is shortly to come when we will grant you your wicked wish, Doomed america! Your smart-assed pundits and foul-mouthed politicians have for years told us to pack up and leave if we don’t like this filthy little cancerous boil on the butt of the earth. You all think you’re so clever that you can come up with such cutesy little quips. You’re collectively so Bible dumb that you don’t know what you’re saying. So let me help you out.

...We gotta go, peeps! We gotta go! And when we do, it’s time for this filthy nation to receive of all the plagues that your Creator has promised. The reason there is such urgency in those words … such passion in the irresistible call from our Saviour, Husband, and Friend … is because when that time comes for this rebellious nation – which is spiritually called Babylon and has become literally Babylon by the inexplicable and forcible snatching of that Mesopotamian land where ancient Babylon sat – it is going to be very fast and very violent, such that all mankind is utterly and simply amazed.


Alas, this is not the case. Atleast according to Westboro's blog section in an email answering session:

A few web sites are claiming you guys are going to do a mass suicide because of the April 4 field report. What do you think about waht they’re saying? Here are some excerpts:

From Gossip Boy:
A cryptic blog post on the Westboro Baptist Churchs website hints that their mission is coming to an end, as full darkness invades America, and they are ready to end their fight and depart. Generally, when cults start talking this way, someone is in the kitchen mixing up Kool Aid.

From Towleroad:
Fred Phelps’ Westboro Baptist Church recently left a blog post that has some wondering if the extremist group is planning a mass suicide (a la Jonestown). A little excerpt from the post (link goes to WBC blog) written in their typical hag-alect:

Kansas Watch:
But in today’s posting on Fred Phelps’ and family’s blog, they kind of sound like they are planning to leave this mortal coil.

Justin


And the answer:


I say first: This is wishful thinking and standard slander. It means nothing.

I say second: I am late in responding because I was at K-State picketing General David Patraeus. If you check out our schedule of coming pickets (in less than 12 hours I hit the road for Hartford, CT and Cambridge/Boston, MA) - that schedule is almost enough to make me tired just looking at it. My point being - WHY NOW would anyone think that we would do anything as disobedient and lawless as murder?

I say third: That excellent field report says nothing different than we have been telling you for a long time. Today our exit out of this country feels closer than it has in the past. The truth of the matter is that GOD, IN HIS WORD, says he gave those examples in the scriptures FOR OUR EXAMPLE and FOR OUR LEARNING and FOR OUR COMFORT, it says, upon whom the ends of the world have come. There is a VAST body of scripture that speaks to these last hours of the last days of all. So even as Noah preached to the world and THEN GOT ON THE ARK JUST BEFORE THEIR DESTRUCTION CAME, the Doomed Ante-diluvium world and even as LOT preached to and then LEFT Doomed Sodom et al, and their destruction came and likewise when Moses and the Children of Israel PREACHED TO and then LEFT Egypt at which point God destroyed the MOST POWERFUL ARMY in the world in that day (from which Egypt NEVER recovered), etc. etc., we preach to Doomed america. Now, there are three things we hear from brutish Doomed americans, and in this order, to wit: 1. God loves everyone; 2. There is NO God and 3. If you don’t like america . . . if america is Doomed . . . if you think we are this or that, etc. . . . THAN GET THE F#@& OUT!!

SWEET!

...That 144,000 Jews are going to put away the lies of the house of Israel about Christ and who he is and so forth, and they are going to serve God in truth, and WE are going to help them! YAY!! Stay tuned Justin! The day is coming when you will see the flip of what Paul did. He told those stiff-necked and rebellious Jews that he was DONE with them, that God had sent him now to the Gentiles to call out a people for his name, and at Romans 11, Paul makes it CRYSTAL clear that when the fullness of the Gentiles be come in, that God is going to return to the Jews and save a remnant of them and that day is fast approaching! I cannot tell you how thankful I will be when we are through talking to this nation of truly STUPID rebels against God (and you have NO cause!).

We have a most glorious new task, and it is going to be amazing. There are going to be two things that those Jews are going to do in response to this call that we are going to put forth now, WITH a vengeance (you know we will ) and so we must look to the scriptures to see it. Because those Jews are likened by the prophet Jeremiah to Figs - REALLY GOOD figs or REALLY, REALLY BAD or EVIL figs - SO BAD AND EVIL that you cannot eat them or you will die! Plus - the beat the crap out of Paul and at one point they left him for dead and HELLO, THEY KILLED CHRIST!! Our personal experience with them is that they are mean and vicious and violent!!

...Now I must ask you - WHY IN THIS WORLD would we consider anything short of running to this battle as FAST as our little legs will carry us!!

As for that cryptic lie - YIKES!! We are about as plain spoken as words can be - GOD HATES FAGS AND THEIR ENABLERS . . . . . . . . . . . . .THEREFORE . . . . . . . . . . . . . america IS DOOMED!!! YAY!!!

Thanks!


Wow. Just.....wow.

Hitch Reax

Christopher Hitchens on Pope Benedict's decision to lift the excommunication of Holocaust denier Wykehamist Bishop Richard Williamson.

From Newsweek:

Ask yourself, first, why it was that the church took until 1965 to repudiate the charge of deicide against the Jews. After all, it is only in one verse of one Gospel (Matthew 27:24–25), and in the climactic scene of Mel Gibson's movie, that the Jewish Sanhedrin demands to be held responsible for the coming crucifixion for all time and through all generations. Then there is the question, even if the rabbis did make such a demand, of whether they could claim to speak for all Jews then, let alone all those who have been born since. So why did it take until 20 years after the Nuremburg trials for the church to admit the obvious?

...When excesses are committed by the religious (something which does indeed seem to happen from time to time), you often hear it argued that these are only perversions of the "true" or "real" or authentic teachings. What makes the present case so alarming is that concessions are being made to Holocaust-deniers and anti-Semites, and that this is not a departure from "original intent" Catholicism but rather part of a return to traditional and old-established preachments. For decades, it has seemed to many incurious outsiders that the Roman Catholic Church had at the very least made a good-faith attempt to acknowledge its historic responsibility for defaming the Jewish people. Suddenly, this achievement doesn't look so solid.

Israel Says Jump

Bush asks "how high?":

Prime Minister Ehud Olmert of Israel said Monday that Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice had been forced to abstain from a United Nations resolution on Gaza that she helped draft, after Mr. Olmert placed a phone call to President Bush.

“I said, ‘Get me President Bush on the phone,’ ” Mr. Olmert said in a speech in the southern Israeli city of Ashkelon, according to The Associated Press. “They said he was in the middle of giving a speech in Philadelphia. I said I didn’t care: ‘I need to talk to him now,’ ” Mr. Olmert continued. “He got off the podium and spoke to me.”

Israel opposed the resolution, which called for a halt to the fighting in Gaza, because the government said it did not provide for Israel’s security. It passed 14 to 0, with the United States abstaining.

Mr. Olmert claimed that once he made his case to Mr. Bush, the president called Ms. Rice and told her to abstain. “She was left pretty embarrassed,” Mr. Olmert said, according to The A.P.

Known Hilltard Now Controls Sodomist Hive Mind

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So there's this really rich lady bitter who owns a bunch of gay pamphlets that people apparently purchase.

Now he owns all bathhouses, BRAVO, J.D. Ordonez, the Log Cabin Republicans, and the word "fabulous":

Paul Colichman, the whiny queer version of Rupert Murdoch, has finalized his latest additions to his list of gay media holdings. The Regent Entertainment chief, who already owns Out, The Advocate, and the mostly invisible here! TV network, now has an 80 percent stake in PlanetOut Inc. in the newly branded company Here Media, giving him control of HIVPlus magazine, Alyson Books, and websites including Advocate.com, Out.com, HIVPlusMag.com, OutTraveler.com, GayWired.com, SheWired.com, PlanetOut.com, and Gay.com. Score one for gay media — or score one for yet another media conglomerate gobbling everything up in some senseless stab at synergy while the people who suffer are the consumers?

Bible Spice's Thoughts On Motherdom

Since we spent most of the holidays in a drunken stupor, plenty of good stories were missed.

The big news (besides Israel being a real grumpypants) is that there's a new addition to the Palin litter. Sarah Palin got her second FIRST grandchild from Levi and Bristol.

What does the failed flautist/VP have to say?

"We are over the moon with the arrival of this healthy, beautiful baby," Governor Palin said. "The road ahead for this young couple will not be easy, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy. Bristol and Levi are committed to accomplish what millions of other young parents have accomplished, to provide a loving and secure environment for their child. They are both hard workers, they're very strong, and have faith they've made the right decision in setting aside their own interests to make this child their highest priority."

Palin added, "When Bristol and Levi first told us the shocking news that she was pregnant, to be honest, we all at first looked at the situation with some fear and a bit of despair. Isn't it just like God to turn those circumstances into such an amazing, joyful blessing when you ask Him to help you through?"

Bristol Palin said she "obviously discourages" teen pregnancy and knows that plans she previously made for herself will now forever be changed. "Teenagers need to prevent pregnancy to begin with - this isn't ideal. But I'm fortunate to have a supportive family which is dealing with this together. Tripp is so perfectly precious; we love him with all our hearts. I can't imagine life without him now."

via HuffBlow

WTF Did Chris Matthews Just Say?

He just said this to Howard Fineman:

"We know each other, I don't know, like two guys at a bank in Florida."

Update: He's being a total d-bag to one of McCain's "my friends."

Judas Gets His 15 Mins

Jesus Christ.

Here's Droopy Joe Lieberman talking about his fuck buddy good friend. What a nice guy, taking the time to crawl out of WALNUTS!'s ass to say something about being a Democrat for McCain.........wait.........he's not a democrat.

REMEMBER THIS, DICKHOLE?

Now that this speech is out of the way, once Generalissimo John McCunt is elected, Droopy Joe will be installed President of Israel the end.

On McCain's Foreign Policy

From Sully:

What the Obama campaign has lost sight of, I think, and what it needs to regain control of, is the essential message of his candidacy. After the last eight years, we simply cannot risk a continuation of the same reckless, belligerent, argument-losing, ideological and deceptive foreign policy of the current crew. The damage that neoconservatism has done to America, to the Middle East, to democratic norms, to Israel's security, to civilized values and fiscal sanity is immense and deep. From his knee-jerk COld War posture over Georgia to his Rovian campaign tactics, McCain is simply too close to this disastrous record to contemplate. McCain's trigger-happy temperament, shallow understanding of the complexities and passion for military force as the answer to everything is the bigger risk. He is a recipe for more, wider and far more destructive warfare.

Does The Messiah Wear A Funny Hat?

Above is video of Barack Obama visiting his homeland of Israel, where he was born in a manger. He visited some wall where you scribble something on a piece of paper and push it into a crack.

brickbat has obtained exclusive information on what Barry Hussein wrote (in Farsi):


I'm hot 'cause I'm fly, you ain't cause you not
This is why, this is why, this is why I'm hot

Joe Biden: Pretty Awesome

Here's the angry ex-candidate responding to W comparing Hopey to Nazi appeasers:

“This is bullshit, this is malarkey. This is outrageous, for the president of the United States to go to a foreign country, to sit in the Knesset ... and make this kind of ridiculous statement.”

Yikes

HuffPost's screamer entitled Does Obama Even Need The Jewish Vote? :

Does the Jewish vote really matter all that much for the Illinois Democrat? The topic, perhaps surprisingly, carries no clear consensus among some academics and analysts.

There is relative consensus on three reasons why the Jewish vote matters. Despite lacking overall numbers, Jews participate in the political process in large percentages, representing some of the more high-profile activists. They also have, historically, been major fundraisers for both political parties. And they tend to reside — for one reason or another — in some of the country’s most significant “swing states.”

For Obama, two of those three may not be major political concerns. The senator’s ability to drum up grassroots support provides him with a robust activist base, somewhat but not entirely irrespective of opinion makers. And his fundraising apparatus, which relies on more than 1.5 million donors — many of them of the low-dollar variety — means he doesn’t have to lean on major financiers. As one prominent Jewish Democratic fundraiser told The Huffington Post, “Obama doesn’t need me and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.” Indeed, Obama’s success in bringing in campaign cash, longtime political observers say, has fundamentally altered the relationship between candidate and constituency group.

LGF responds:

Wow.

And please note that the administrators at HuffPo have already closed the comments for this one, because they know exactly what will happen if they don’t: a deluge of vicious antisemitic hatred.

War With Iran Hard To Justify

Barnett thinks the Israel excuse is pretty flimsy:

Israel's 200 nuclear warheads provide all the genocidal capacity it needs to adequately defend itself. This strategic Goliath can hardly pass as David any more, meaning any American obligation to ensure survival was fulfilled long ago.

Now, with such great power comes great responsibility. There are no chosen peoples in such strategic calculations, just immeasurable risk for a species.

We are way beyond anyone's claim on "holy lands" at that point.

Great piece.

via Thomas P.M. Barnett

Israel Mourns

Eight students at a seminary in Israel were massacred at the hands of a lone gunman:

Witnesses said the gunman went into the library at the Mercaz Harav seminary in the city's Kiryat Moshe quarter and opened fire.

The assailant, who Israeli police said was a resident of East Jerusalem, was shot dead by an Israeli army officer.

...the 15-strong UN Security Council failed to agree on a resolution condemning the attack because of reservations from temporary member Libya, which sought to link it to Israeli actions in the Gaza Strip.

A previously unknown group called the "Jalil Freedom Battalions - the Martyrs of Imad Mughniyeh and Gaza" claims to have carried it out, according to Lebanese Hezbollah media.

The fact that the school is at the heart of the settler movement in the occupied West Bank may have been the reason why it was targeted, BBC Middle East editor Jeremy Bowen reports.

Hopefully, this will be a wakeup call for the two remaining Democratic presidential candidates. Rather than having a tit-for-tat over who called who a monster, pictures of people in funny hats, or who will be best suited to answer a 3am phone call, maybe we can get to atleast one real issue.

The Middle East peace process would be a good start.

The phone is already ringing. Who will answer the call?

via BBC

Pat Robertson's Turtleneck is Pretty Sure Ice Storms Caused by Messing with Israel