Fuck You, Virginia Foxx

Seriously, eat a bag of dicks.

From Towleroad:

Some ugly things are being said in the House debate of the federal hate crimes bill (the Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act aka the Matthew Shepard Act) right now on C-SPAN. North Carolina GOP Congresswoman Virginia Foxx said that it's a "hoax" that Matthew Shepard's murder was motivated by his sexual orientation.


Since then, the cunt twat taint stain has backtracked on her remarks:

"It has come to my attention that some people have been led to believe that I think the terrible crimes that led to Matthew Shepard's death in 1998 were a hoax," she said. "The term "hoax" was a poor choice of words used in the discussion of the hate crimes bill. Mr. Shepard's death was nothing less than a tragedy and those responsible for his death certainly deserved the punishment they received.

"The larger context of my remarks is important. I was referring to a 2004 ABC 20/20 report on Mr. Shepard's death. The 20/20 report questioned the motivation of those responsible for Mr. Shepard's death. Referencing this media account may have been a mistake, but if so it was a mistake based on what I believed were reliable accounts."


On a personal note, your editor (as a gay Indy) does not really believe in Hate Crimes legislation. Tragedy is tragedy, violence is violence, and murder is murder. No one group should be singled out for special treatment.

If the gay community wants to be treated on equal footing with the rest of society, we should really avoid putting ourselves in a seperate but equal situation.

HOWEVER, Rep. Foxx's statements were detestable.

In Summary: Suck it, Virginia Foxx.

Even Meghan McCain Is Throwing Arlen Under The Bus

As reported by everyone yesterday, Pennsylvania Sen. Arlen Specter has switched from the GOP to the baby-eating gay Communist Democratic Party.

While most of the conservative wingnut reactions were expected; Meghan McCain expressed her disdain as well...albeit with a tad more tact:

Let me be clear: I have a lot of respect for Sen. Specter. But I also can't help but feel like he's let us down. I'm sure this was a long, hard decision. The polls were looking very bleak in his primary contest. His probable opponent was nearly 20 points ahead in many polls. And I understand how he’s been made to feel like an outcast by a small, vocal group. Still, this was an opportunity for Specter to hold his ground and set an example for progressive-minded Republicans trying to overcome one of their biggest obstacles: winning the party primaries.

Of course, this speaks to much larger problem in the GOP. We need to attract more centrist and progressive conservative voters at the primary level, so that level-headed candidates stand a chance. We need courageous Republicans more than ever. And this week, Sen. Specter turned his back. But he wasn’t the only one.

Shortly after the senator's announcement, Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele released the following statement:

"Some in the Republican Party are happy about this. I am not. Let’s be honest—Senator Specter didn’t leave the GOP based on principles of any kind. He left to further his personal political interests because he knew that he was going to lose a Republican primary due to his left-wing voting record. Republicans look forward to beating Sen. Specter in 2010, assuming the Democrats don’t do it first."

At its core, there is not much different about what the chairman said and what I’ve written here. Specter's decision was most likely motivated by political reasons. But that's where the similarities end. What's left is the same, tired rhetoric conservatives simply cannot seem to get past. Even someone like Mr. Steele—who was elected to be a more inclusive, open voice for Republicans—can’t escape it.


Why can't they all be like this?

Lambo Lands In Bottom 2; Internets Outraged

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Tween girls (and fancy tween boys) realeased a collective and traumatic squeal about 8:40 EST last night when our fair Lambo Cockrissian was put in the bottom 2.

Truly, the terrorists are winning.

Here's a decent summary from Idolator:

More surprising to observers, though, was the appearance of longtime frontrunner Adam Lambert in the bottom three, alongside Giraud and Kris Allen. Was this the result of shenanigans by the producers–who want people to keep watching, even despite the widespread assumption that Lambert’s going to win this thing–or was it the first piece of evidence that a wide swath of America isn’t really into the whole Scissor Sisters/Muse/Adam Lambert axis of rock, despite poor old Randy Jackson’s claims to the contrary?


Keep in mind that last year’s winner operating in the “covers of other peoples’ covers” paradigm was actually using as his touchstone a genre of music–crummy radio mook rock–that, while being objectionable for a host of completely valid reasons, does relatively well, especially when compared to the glammy and fabulous bands that Lambert has chosen to emulate on the Idol stage. Sure, his fanbase is pretty devoted to him and he normally has amazing energy on the stage (save Tuesday’s oddly inert performance), but as other contestants drop off and their former fanbases find new horses to back, that may not be enough.


As much as it pains me, go to this site and read some of the comments, of which are full of conspiracy theories.

It's just a show, folks.

Today's Godtube/tangle Moment

Just keeping it topical.

via GOD's WRATH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe You Should Consider Becoming a Muslin

Hey everybody. Some Chinese science slut says we're all gonna die.

Stock up on duct tape the windows and bottled water. Elohim is coming back to our Earths...and he's pissed:


World Health Organization director-general Dr. Margaret Chan raised the pandemic threat awareness level to 5 out of 6 on Wednesday, meaning the world is at imminent risk of a pandemic from H1N1 swine flu.

"I have decided to raise the level of influenza pandemic alert from phase 4 to phase 5," Chan told a news briefing.


via Reuters

President Unicorn Is Almost 100 Days Old; Does Not Matter To Racist Crazies

The Muslin Kraken will have been our Supreme Leader for 100 days tomorrow...and he's done some stuff.

Not everyone is celebrating, as illustrated above.

Hoorayz 4 Freedoms™!!!

via the Youtubes

Today's Paultard Video

Hobo Mittens Sells 2 Homes; Now Only Has 2 Homes

Famous Scientologist and failed presidential candidate Mitt Romney wants America to know he is a man of the people. He feels your pain and whatnot:


Newsmagazine trends come and go, but some irrefutable evidence has emerged to prove this one's for real: Renowned trendsetter Mitt Romney is doing without. According to the Belmont Citizen-Herald, he and his wife just sold their Boston home for $3.5 million—the second multimillion-dollar home they've sold in the past month. The Romneys began the year with four McMansions—in Massachusetts, Utah, California, and New Hampshire. Now they're making do with two.

...In the run-up to the 2008 primaries, Romney gave himself a conservative makeover, trading in the moderate stands he had been forced to assume to run for office in Massachusetts. This time, with his conservative credentials in order, he seems to be eyeing a different transformation—from master of the universe to man of the people.

Romney has always been the mood ring of the Republican Party, so the sell-off seems the perfect symbol of a broader movement among Republicans: They're downsizing! Demand is slack, and it's too soon to know when they'll find the bottom.

...when new owners buy a $5.25 million, 9,500-square-foot ski villa in Deer Valley, Utah, and a $3.5 million, 6,400-square-foot, 13-room home in Boston, is that a sign of the New Frugality—or proof that even in hard times, there is always New Money?

...The biggest question about Romney's downsizing, however, is more fundamental. Given his balance sheet, are the two McMansions he sold really the most urgent liabilities to shed? There's not much point bothering with one concession to political reality (that most voters can barely afford one home, let alone two or four) while continuing to deny a more important political reality: Most voters don't buy the conservative economic foundations on which Romney's political future is built.

Al Gore/Marsha Blackburn Turn Climate Hearing In To Episode Of The Hills

This past Friday, President of the Earth, Al Gore, waddled up Capitol Hill to speak about drowning polar bears or something. During the hearing, the above exchange occurred.

Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN) asked fatty about all the blood money he made off of low-energy light bulbs built by Taiwanese infants, prompting Gore to resurrect his famous sigh and to be all "Bitch, please. You don't know me!"

After all was said and done, Gore boarded a plane back home where he hit on a couple of ladies sitting next to him while sipping a Diet (yeh right) Pepsi:


But when the plane landed and was waiting for an open gate, Gore struck up a conversation with his seatmate, who planned to run a 5K Saturday, and a woman seated across the aisle, who was in town for Saturday’s Country Music ½ Marathon.

“Longer races aren’t good for you,” he said. “I used to run those — hurt my back.”

He said he doesn’t run at all anymore. “I do other things” for exercise, he added. “Have a good race,” he said, as he struggled to pull his bags out of the overhead, apologizing to the passenger seated under the compartment.

You know who else was on this exact same flight on Friday? Gore foe, Rep. Marsha Blackburn, fresh off their aggressive back and forth on The Hill. Blackburn had no entourage and did not get priority boarding treatment. Also, the two were not seen speaking.

For No Reason

via videogum

WorldNetDaily Still Questions Mooslim Devil's Existence

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Oh, good lord Xenu deep fried on a dildo. These "birthers" need to eat shit, die, and go to hell.

WND, a Mexican snuff webpamphlet, can't resist the temptation of again raising questions about President Unicorn's eligibility to be...President Unicorn.

Take this:

...arguably Obama’s most egregious, unconstitutional “power-grab” as president may have been his very first – being elected to the highest office in the land while steadfastly refusing to offer proof he is a “natural born citizen,” as required of all presidents by the U.S. Constitution.

That explosive story is the focus of the April 2009 edition of WND’s acclaimed Whistleblower magazine. It’s called “YOUR PAPERS, PLEASE? Why dozens of lawsuits and millions of Americans want Barack Obama to prove he's constitutionally qualified to be president.”


Or this:

In the last few months, dozens of U.S. courts have dismissed legal challenges to Barack Obama's constitutional eligibility to occupy the Oval Office, and even the U.S. Supreme Court has refused to hold a hearing on the evidence – but what have the courts actually cited as reasons for dismissing the concerns of millions of Americans?

Mootness, lack of jurisdiction, lack of responsibility, lack of standing, a series of "no comments" and even the fact the issue has been "twittered."

The one subject that has been avoided to date has been whether or not the president is, in fact, eligible.


Or, better yet, this:

PETITION FOR PUBLIC RELEASE OF

BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA'S BIRTH CERTIFICATE

To: Electoral College, Congress of the United States, Federal Elections Commission, U.S. Supreme Court, President of the United States, other controlling legal authorities

Whereas, by requirement of the United States Constitution, Article 2, Section 1, no one can be sworn into office as president of the United States without being a natural born citizen;

Whereas, there is sufficient controversy within the citizenry of the United States as to whether presidential election winner Barack Obama was actually born in Hawaii as he claims;

Whereas, Barack Obama has refused repeated calls to release publicly his entire Hawaiian birth certificate, which would include the actual hospital that performed the delivery;

Whereas, lawsuits filed in several states seeking only proof of the basic minimal standard of eligibility have been rebuffed;

Whereas, Hawaii at the time of Obama's birth allowed births that took place in foreign countries to be registered in Hawaii;

Whereas, concerns that our government is not taking this constitutional question seriously will result in diminished confidence in our system of free and fair elections;

SIGN THE PETITION
We, the undersigned, assert our rights as citizens of the United States in demanding that the constitutional eligibility requirement be taken seriously and that any and all controlling legal authorities in this matter examine the complete birth certificate of Barack Obama, including the actual city and hospital of birth, and make that document available to the American people for inspection.


WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!! Barry Hussein is a secret muslin/Kraken hyrbid determined to abort our Freedoms with African communism.

Today's Paultard Video

If you can make sense of what this 9/11 truther hobbit is talking about...write us.

When will they allow waterboarding in schools?

via Middle-earth

Cheeks' Response To Ms. California

Jabba The Hag Defends Lambo's Pretend Heterosexuality

Seems eerily reminiscent of my parents' defense of Clay Aiken.

via Towleroad

Today's Godtube/tangle Moment

Today's installment surely stands apart.

One can't help but wonder why this singing twat knows so much about animal buttfuckery.

via tangle

Morning Dump

Levi Johnston to write pop-up book about his time spent with apes.

Fundies get a new mascot.

Megan McCain's resume was posted online via an incoherent twattering.

Yet another reason to get rid of this whole Twitter thing before Ashton Kutcher is installed as a puppet emporer under the control of Skynet.

Judgement Day is closer than we thought.

The first and possibly only time we will tell someone to "take a cue from George W. Bush".

The Internets Just Got Significantly Wierder

Glitter Graphics



Whoa there! This little masterpiece just took Lambo Cockrissian obsessions to the next level.

Someone on LIVEJOURNAL took the time to write an Adam Lambert/Kris Allen fantasy buttseks mini-series, which turns out to be 100 million words long or so.

As interesting as the fleeting concept may be, this is just regoddamndiculously uncomfortable (NSFW):

He tilts his head down, runs his hand up Kris' back, soothing pressure and guidance, and Kris stands up straighter, pressing against Adam, and Adam licks at his lip because can, and Kris' hand is smoothing along his cheek and neck, tentative, thumb finding the pulse point and Adam laughs against Kris' mouth.

...He kissed him, firmly, then stood to slid his own pants down. He poked at Kris' hip. "Hips, up, lover." And he knows his smile is dark.


We recommend both Lambo and Kris Allen seek a restraining order.

via Part 1 and Part 2

A Children's Treasury Of Horrible Day Of Silence Videos

This past Friday (when your editor was going on 48 hours of no sleep in a Biloxi casino) various gay youths around the world celebrated the Day of Silence, which is a holiday where young homosexuals give their teachers and fellow students a break by shutting the fuck up.

Here's a collection of the worst videos we've found so far:








And for the win: A young Maddow wannabe. See how far you can make it.

Merry 4/20 And All

COED compiled a list of the 10 most successful potheads on our Earths...a few months ago:

Ted Turner

Ted is a rare breed of billionaire — he comes off as completely absent minded, incapable of even putting on his own pants. Yet he is a mega-mogul. He single-handedly invented the 24-hour news cycle with CNN, was named Time’s Man of the Year in 1991, is the largest private land owner in America, and also owns a few other TV stations, and the Atlanta Braves. So… owning lots of stuff? Not what you’d expect from a guy who grew pot in his college dorm room. Ted is also a major funder of the Kentucky Hemp Museum, along with renowned stoner Woody Harelson, and is a well known fan of the classic stoner cartoon Scooby-Doo.

For No Reason

videogum delivers:

Lambo Takes Backseat To Kris Allen

Richard @ Gawker sums it up best:

When you gonna wise up, judges and America? Kid's the best thing on rollerskates and you all secretly know it. Sure he's not the purest most bombasto-tastic vocalist of them all, but he's so f'ing marketable. Who doesn't like a milky-faced kid with a guitar and a triangle mouth? Communists, that's who. In this weirdo truncated episode—only two judgings per singer!—Randy obviously wasn't able to feel out the sea change, so he just went with that "it was just aight" party line. Don't get him wrong, he's heard of "Falling Slowly," that song from Once, but you know, he doesn't like it for Kris. Kara is, apparently, a little more savvy, and she picked up on the fact that the performance demanded praise. But it was elusive and vague and measured only against Kris's other performances, not against his competitors'. Paula's arm agreed with Kara and we'll never know what Simon thought. I bet (I hope) he was dreaming up record deals.

...Lamb Chops sang "Born to Be Wild", from the movie Easy Rider (sort of), and... I want a check for the broken crystal ware and lightbulbs. Lamby's always been shrieky, but Gott in Himmel, last night was like Screech's balls getting caught in the door of the Max. I know, I know. He's artistic and different and slobberdy-goo-gumdrops. Buy his album after he wins. And then tell me with a straight face that you like it. He's a circus oddity, which is a fine. But a commercial pop sanger? Nay.

Oh well. The whole thing is such a foregone conclusion at this point. The only reason anyone's watching anymore is to see what weirdness Lambo comes up with next, and maybe to shriek and clap like a complete 25-going-on-14-year-old when it's announced that Kris will be singing that swoony swirly indie Once song and your roommate eyes you strangely and you wheeze and drink your seltzer and oh man, Tuesdays have gotten weird.


Adam Lambert Born to be Wild HIGH QUALITY Video Top 7 Week Performance from Fernando Vivanco on Vimeo.

Cheers

From today's Meghan McCain piece at The Daily Beast:


This week, I will be speaking at the Log Cabin Republicans' national convention in support of the gay community and its role in the future of the Republican Party. Of all the causes I believe in and speak publicly about, this is one of the ones closest to my heart.

...it isn't just the GOP’s opposition to gay marriage that makes the party seem unwelcoming toward gay voters. It’s the anti-gay rhetoric they use to whip up the base. Recently, a conservative congressman was quoted saying, “If we don't save marriage, we can't remain pro-life." That's absurd. President Obama, for instance, is also against gay marriage—a dirty little secret many of my gay friends were shocked to discover during the presidential campaign. But you’d never know it because he always "sounds" so inclusive.

...I am a woman who despises labels and boxes and stereotypes. Recently, I seemed to have rocked a few individuals within my party by saying that I am a pro-life, pro-gay-marriage Republican. So if anyone is still confused, let me spell it out for you. I believe life begins at conception and I believe that people who fall in love should have the option to get married. Lest we forget, our founding document, the Declaration of Independence, grants the same rights to everyone in this country—“All men are created equal.” If you think certain rights should not apply to certain people, then you are saying those people are not equal. People may always have a difference of opinion on certain lifestyles, but championing a position that wants to treat people unequally isn't just un-Republican. At its fundamental core, it's un-American.

At the end of the day, speaking at the Log Cabin Republicans' convention isn’t just about reaching out to the gay community—although I believe doing so is vital to the future success of the party. It’s also about reaching a wider base and redefining what it means to be Republican, and leaving labels, stereotypes, and negativity by the wayside. That more and more people are discussing gay rights speaks positively for the millions of young and progressive Republicans waiting for our party to return to its roots. Personal freedoms are what makes this country the greatest country in the world. And just like the civil-rights and feminist movements before this, the movement toward gay equality and gay marriage is one I have absolute faith will triumph over prejudices. Moreover, I believe the Republican Party has, at this moment, the opportunity to come forward and play an instrumental role in securing gay rights. That's why I'm speaking at the Log Cabin convention and couldn't be prouder to be doing so. And yes, I'm still a Republican. Get used to it.

Lambo Cockrissian Lands NYT Feature

Glitter Graphics



From NY Times:

Let’s imagine, then, that among the assorted warblers and strummers and leather-lunged divas that have made up the renewable cast of hopefuls on the country’s No. 1 television show, you appear not as some talented hopeful with a shady backstory but as a theatrical creation with a message to sell beyond the usual will to prevail. You are swivel hipped and pillow lipped. You have an outsize talent and a fondness for Cher. You have blond hair dyed black and styled in an asymmetrical shag. At some long-ago moment, you gave in to your inner Maybelline girl.

You are Adam Lambert, the contestant widely tipped as a favorite to be the next winner of “American Idol.” And the only thing standing between you and riches and the chance to play arenas may be a question currently burning up the Internet: Can a gay contestant win?

Leave aside for a moment the answer to such a question, or even whether Mr. Lambert is gay. He may be. He may not. Fox, which owns “Idol,” is not saying; neither is the contestant himself.

...According to a Gawker post last week, the “applause-o-meter” had Mr. Lambert pulling way ahead. “Might we actually get a Kris/Adam finale?” read the item, referring to Kris Allen, a generic teen idol type with a waxed cowlick and a lopsided smile. “Might, also, we get a Kris/Adam somethin’ else?’ Hah, doubtful. No one sees Adam without his skinsuit on, except maybe that fetching, fey little blond character they keep cutting to and describing as Adam’s ‘friend.’ ”

...America’s heartland, he said, turns out to be politically contiguous to its notoriously liberal coasts. “Iowa is apparently infested with San Francisco values,” he said.

Even the White House made a point of inviting lesbian and gay families to join in an annual Easter Egg Roll.

Thus it seems plausible that a person with more than a toe peeking out of the closet might actually win the most hotly contested singing show on the planet. True, it took six years of public insinuation before Clay Aiken, the popular also-ran from Season 2, made the choice in 2008 to come out. When he did so, however, the anticipated career-stall never happened. The news was greeted with a collective yawn.

“I see us as living in the post-Neil Patrick Harris era,” said Mr. Ehrenstein, referring to the actor who in 2006 trumped online efforts to expose his sexuality by publicly declaring himself gay to People magazine. “He crossed the Rubicon. He did the ‘sudden death’ play. Supposedly you come out and your career is over. He came out and his career is in better shape than it ever was.”



Bonus Video of two old gay pervs a'pervin on Lambo:

Gay video from AfterElton.com

UPDATE:



From NYP:

I am extremely excited for "American Idol" tomorrow, especially given last week's wah-wah performances. Not only will the Top 7 tackle songs featured in films, but they will be mentored by Quentin Tarantino -- the world's most surprising "Idol" fan.

We learned of his addiction to the reality show back when he guest judged in season three, but he didn't actually help the contestants then. This time around, he'll be standing in on practices, and doling out advice. And to those of you who think he has no business critiquing music, I dare you to find another director who turns more undiscovered gems into must repeat iPod tracks!

First Muppet Arrives At White House

The moment has arrived. The Obamas finally got their dog, which is a hand-me-down from an elderly talking Lion from the Land of Massachusia:

The little guy is a 6-month-old Portuguese water dog given to the Obama girls as a gift by that Portuguese water dog-lovin' senator himself, Edward M. Kennedy of Massachusetts. The girls named it Bo -- and let it be noted that you learned that here first. Malia and Sasha chose the name, because their cousins have a cat named Bo and because first lady Michelle Obama's father was nicknamed Diddley, a source said. (Get it? Bo . . . Diddley?)


But what of the pledge to adopt a hobo AIDS dog?:


The choice of a Portie raised one complication. The Obamas have long said they wanted a rescue dog. But the carefully bred PWDs almost never end up in shelters. Bo had been living with another family, but it wasn't a good fit, so the Kennedys acquired him for the Obamas.

As for the rescue pledge, the Obamas came up with a solution intended to lend a serious symbolic note: They're going to make a donation to the D.C. Humane Society.

Mexican Child King To Set Sights On Mooslim, Not Diapered Whoremonger

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Over the weekend, there was some buzz about Bobby Jindal (a famed Republican exorcist/date rapist) running for David Vitter's Senate seat in 2010.

Not so, says someone:


No, Gov. Bobby Jindal is not going to run for a U.S. senate seat next year, the governor's office said Saturday in response to a television news report.

New York Magazine journalist John Heilemann mentions the rumor about Jindal during an appearance as a panelist this weekend on The Chris Matthews Show, according to the media industry blog TVNewser, which obtained a transcript of the recorded program in advance of the broadcast.

"I was down in New Orleans, and I heard a great rumor that Bobby Jindal, who we were just talking about as a potential presidential candidate for the Republican party, is thinking about giving up the governorship and running for Senate against David Vitter, or for Vitter's seat if Vitter doesn't run," Heilemann said, according to the blog site.

...Jindal spokeswoman Melissa Sellers said there is "no truth" to the rumor and that Jindal is running for re-election as governor in 2011.


Which means, given the fact he is writing a fancy diary about his childhood spent appearing on Indian game shows, Jindal will run for the 2012 Republican presidential candidate slot against various angry white men and one very retarded redneck slut.