Jesus-double-dutching-Christ: Today's Paultard Video

Dear parents of this hobbit,

Smack him.

Sneak up in his room while he's distracted, like say when he's whacking it to Alex Jones' internets show......then just smack the shit out him.

It's for his own good


Yours in Christ,

brickbat

Existence Of Ancient Paultards Confirmed!!!!!

Paultards, wish no more.

The Independent has done your geneology homework for you:

A miniature species of extinct humans, nicknamed "hobbits", possessed unusual anatomical features explained by their complete isolation from the rest of humanity for thousands of years on their remote island home in Indonesia, studies have found.

The tiny people, who grew to an adult height of no more than three feet, astounded scientists in 2004 when a skull and partial skeletons were unearthed from a cave on the island of Flores. Radiocarbon dating suggested that the species, Homo floresiensis, had lived in and around the cave for tens of thousand of years before dying out about 17,000 years ago.

The latest research into H. floresiensis has found that they were flat-footed, long-toed creatures who could walk easily on two legs but would have found it difficult to run at speed. A separate study suggests that their very small heads, which were perfectly in proportion to their bodies, were the evolutionary outcome of living on such a remote island for so long.

Two studies published in the journal Nature also cast further doubt on the idea that the hobbits were ordinary people suffering from some kind of pathological condition, such as microcephaly – when the skull fails to grow normally. Many scientists believe there is now little doubt that the hobbits were indeed a human species who had evolved as a result of island dwarfism, when larger animals gradually become smaller over the generations.


So, there's a secret Paultard Island where all these fucks could be living in Freedom™ to eat Cheetos while conjuring up conspiracies about WoW being monitored and controlled by the Freemasons?

What are we waiting for? Let's go ahead and send 'em packing.

via The Independent

Today's Paultard Video

Paultards: I Give You Your Morning Wood

Ron Paul, king of Middle-earth, has not ruled out a 2012 run.

This is fantastic fodder for the next 4 years.

Government Warns Of Paultard Terrorists

From Wired:

The American military and intelligence communities are increasingly worried that would-be bin Ladens might gather in a virtual world, to plan a real-life attack. But the spies haven't given many details, about how it might be done. Now, a Pentagon researcher has laid out how such a terror plot might unfold. The planning ground is World of Warcraft. The main target of this possibly nuclear strike: the White House.

...In a presentation late last week at the Director of National Intelligence Open Source Conference in Washington, Dr. Dwight Toavs, a professor at the Pentagon-funded National Defense University, gave a bit of a primer on virtual worlds to an audience largely ignorant about what happens in these online spaces. Then he launched into a scenario, to demonstrate how a meatspace plot might be hidden by in-game chatter.

In it, two World of Warcraft players discuss a raid on the "White Keep" inside the "Stonetalon Mountains." The major objective is to set off a "Dragon Fire spell" inside, and make off with "110 Gold and 234 Silver" in treasure. "No one will dance there for a hundred years after this spell is cast," one player, "war_monger," crows.

Except, in this case, the White Keep is at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. "Dragon Fire" is an unconventional weapon. And "110 Gold and 234 Silver" tells the plotters how to align the game's map with one of Washington, D.C.

Stupid Ron Paul Has New Stupid Idea

Here is your Dr. Congressman L. Ron Paultard giving his latest loser speech.

Since he sucks so bad at running for POTUS, he's starting a new useless online Freedom™ thing that will keep Paultards busy until The Hobbit movie comes out in 2011.

Selected Reading From Ron Paul Forum

Time once again to see what Paultards are chattering about, even though they know that Dr. Congressman L. Ron Paultard has no chance of becoming Preznit of Ameros.

This from a genius piece of work entitled Ignoring Dr. Paul:

Reality will show soon enough that Ron Paul was right when he was saying that keeping on printing money out of thin air and not taking counter messures would make the recession become worse. No other presidential candidate mentioned this unpopular message in the debates then Dr. RON PAUL. All others seem to have no idea most probebly....totaly blind deaf and dumb. Reality will come soon enough though. Wonder if this comming resession is going to help Dr. Ron Paul to get the attention he needs to get known by those who never even heared from him before...thanks to the criminal MSM.

And, of course, some replies:

They were ignoring Ron Paul when he was talking about the North American highway. Now, the MSM are all talking about it. Ron Paul is not a liar, so why do americans turn a blinds eye and a deaf ear?

I am proud to have taken the proverbial red pill and asking questions. I am no longer blind nor deaf. I am especially not afraid of terrorists. I have more fear of the IRS and dictatorships.

After talking about what happened to me back in 1993 with police officers in a small town in Ga. to a Black man, the Black man said to me, "Now you know how we feel." That was the day I woke up. Even though I didn't see it when the police officers violated my 4th. amendment, it took a non-bias Black man to wake me up. I have never been back to sleep and that has put me on a few list in Florida. I don't really care about being on a list, cause I do no wrong.

i believe anything now after what they`re doing to me.

If we go threw with the whole North American highway, whats the point in borders between US/Canada and US/Mexico.

Lemmings are absolutely terrified at the thought of being labeled as an "extremist" or a "conspiracy theorist". Ironically, the very same lemmings who instinctively ridicule all "conspiracy theories", are always the first ones to blindly swallow the most ridiculous conspiracy theories imaginable when the government and media present them!

Message to the producers of The Hobbit Movie: HURRY THE FUCK UP, MOVE THE RELEASE DATE TO THIS YEAR AND GIVE THESE RETARDS SOMETHING TO DO!!!

via Ron Paul Forum

Fucking Hippies

Yesterday, a bunch of stinky whiney hippies decided to protest the Iraq war. Wonkette was on the case:

Simple and subtle. Best of the day. Thank you for drawing this masterpiece of crayon for us, Senator David Vitter. We'll change your diaper shortly.

They also had great coverage of the D.C. clusterfuck here, here, and here.

via Wonkette

Intertubes Just Got A Little Paultardier

Did you know there is a 3-D movie in the works about L. Ron Paultard called The High Tide? Neither did I.

It looks like a video game, which should make WoW addicted Paultards squeal with glee.

So, combine The Matrix, Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, The Day After Tomorrow, and a bunch of crazy talk about gold standards and Liberty Dollars and you get this:



via Wonkette

Today's Anti-Paultard Video