The Only Piece On Lambo Cockrissian You Need To Read

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So.....

We were really gonna let this whole Lambo thing go. He lost, yet yll over the intertubes you can read and view statements of his coyness (is that word?) about his involvement in the acts of buttfuckery.

Yet, Richard at Gawker has summed up our feelings. So here it is:



You know what, Adam Lambert? Just can it with the coy shit. Everyone knows the American Idol second-placer is a big ol' homo from Fruitington Corners, but in every goddamn interview the lurching behemoth always says things like "keep speculating..." And I wish he'd just man up and step out.

Not that people should be forced to come out of the closet, but fool keeps calling himself a role model, and then won't acknowledge the fact that he's the gayest thing since Jody Watley got lost in the Tenderloin that one time. You can't really call yourself a role model, I don't think in this post-Prop 8 bullshit era of codified homophobia, while completely playing "tee heeeeee" with the press about something as fundamental and unchangeable as who you like to put your junk into. Is it anyone's business? Of course it's not. But would it be nice, just for fucking once, for a clearly gay, currently popular (and that's fleeting, Mary. Don't think it isn't. You're gonna be whistling the national anthem at state fairs come this time next year) to step up to the plate and say "You know what? Forget my own career, I'm gay. I'm well-liked (currently) and visible and I'm a proud gay American"? Yes that would be really nice. Because it would be honest and brave and true and exactly what (in some small part) the struggling gay youth of America needs. A person who everyone loved who also just happens to be gay.

So, Mr. Lambert, I know the coy shit is fun and cutesy and oohhh hoo hoo don't you chuckle to yourself between gulps, but it's all starting to come off a bit latent and scaredy-cat and lame. And the more you're teasing and "Maybe I'll come out in Rolling Stone, maybe I won't..." the more it becomes something that should be teased about, something that should be hinted and whispered. And it's not. It's a fact like any other fact. So please, either be honest and forthcoming about yourself, or just shut the hell up, make way for the real men, and stop calling yourself a role model. Because right now the only person you're a role model to is the kids who want to be what they want to be, but also don't want anyone to know about it. And that's sad.

Update! Yes, I know he's supposedly coming out on the cover of Rolling Stone next week. So, good for him! And good for Rolling Stone! How wonderfully this whole thing has been parlayed into a money-making endeavor. The gay community is so grateful to you, Adam.



Richard Lawson is our new hero.

via Gawker

It's Over

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And our Faerie King, Lambo Cockrissian, lost.

A few reax worth reading here and here.

THIS one from Jim David @ HuffBlow (of course) takes the cake:


The best singer didn't win a freaking singing contest.

When Kris Allen defeated Adam Lambert as the Season 8 "American Idol," it was, as predicted, a seismic upset. The Chicago Sun-Times said, "David slayed Goliath." Endless bloggers posted reactions like "The biggest robbery since Bush stole the election" and "The end of American Idol's last hope at relevance."

Everyone, from the judges to Google to Yahoo to the Vegas odds makers, predicted a Lambert victory. They were right, and everyone knows it. In the end homophobia won, and everyone knows it.

Yes, homophobia is alive and well, which is why Lambert lost the ultimate title. Go ahead -- give me another reason. Yes, Lambert is over the top and screams a lot and is campier than Liberace at Radio City. Sure, Kris Allen is a cutie, and has pleasant enough vocals, and he's nice. But a better singer, or performer, than Lambert? Please.


Ohhhhh just wait. It gets even more maudlin:


If the contestants had zero backstory, Lambert would have decimated the competition. Instead, Allen's Christianity, church roots and corn-fed wife were exploited, as were Lambert's musical theatre roots (i.e. his 'theatre fag' history). He didn't say a word about his sexuality, but didn't need to. For that we had the Internet, zapping anyone's private photo library to the world, so photos of Lambert swapping saliva with a guy went viral, as well as a lot of his very strange yet riveting LA cabaret performances, turning off the homophobic majority.

Yes, a majority of the country is homophobic. If it weren't, gays would have had their rights back in the 90s when the Europeans got them. We wouldn't have a majority of states with a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. We wouldn't be fighting for even rudimentary domestic partnership laws in some cities and states. We wouldn't have anti-gay imbeciles like Maggie Gallagher, Peter LaBarbera, Matt Barber or the "God Hates Fags" morons getting publicity. Yep, if American weren't homophobic, Lambert would be waving to the crowds from a convertible.

...And he made, without really trying, a great leap for gays in America. The American public learned his sexuality early on and still voted for him into the finals, even if they were too scared to give him the ultimate prize. But they obviously had their limits. Perhaps if he hadn't sung his finale "Mad World" performance in that 'Basketball Diaries' cloak, which made us fear he was a misunderstood youth about to pull out a semiautomatic and open fire on the tweens in the mosh pit, he would have won.


Jim David, shut the fuck up.

Adam Lambert was never a gay contestant. He was a contestant everyone surmised to be a sodomist based on an arsenal of evidence. He never admitted to anything. He was never a gay hero, because he never said he was gay.

EW had a post-finale interview with Lambo and the following exchange occurred:

I want to just get this question out of the way first, something that's been dangling a bit over you for the whole season: Would you like to put to rest all the speculation about your sexuality?
It's not dangling over my head. [Laughing] It may be dangling over yours, but it's not over mine. Yeah, I think speculation keeps things really interesting.

So you don't want to say anything one way or the other?
Like I said, I think speculation keeps things very, very interesting. [Laughs]


See? No homophobia involved. He's not a gay.

Atleast, not an out gay. Maybe a pansexual opportunist who used a nationwide platform to promote his career rather than promote understanding and acceptance.

But Mr. David, you can't call homophobia against a guy who denies being gay.

Bible Spice Defends That Lady Bigot With The Fake Boobs

Like we didn't know this was coming:


In a strongly worded statement relased late Wednesday, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin defended Miss California Carrie Prejean and ripped into "the liberal onslaught of malicious attacks" against Prejean for her response to a question about gay marriage.

"I can relate as a liberal target myself," Palin said. "What I find so remarkable is that these politically-motivated attacks fail to show that what Carrie and I believe is also what President Obama and Secretary Clinton believe — marriage is between a man and a woman."

Prejean created a stir with her response to a question about gay marriage at last month's Miss USA pageant, questions about her work with gay marriage opponents and nearly nude photos taken of her when she was a teenager put her title in jeopardy.

"I applaud Donald Trump for standing with Carrie during this time. And I respect Carrie for standing strong and staying true to herself, and for not letting those who disagree with her deny her protection under the nation's First Amendment Rights," the former vice presidential candidate said.

"Our Constitution protects us all — not just those who agree with the far left," Palin said.

Today's Godtube/tangle Moment

Today's installment surely stands apart.

One can't help but wonder why this singing twat knows so much about animal buttfuckery.

via tangle

Glenn Beck Secretly Yearns To Blow Barney Frank

Fun. The former CNN anus blogger and current FOX assclown wished Rep. Barney Frank a very Happy Birthday by mocking his lisp and penchant for the buttfuckery.

Further video at Towleroad:

Yesterday was Barney Frank's birthday, and Glenn Beck used the occasion to slam Frank over the current economic situation while simultaneously mocking Frank's speech impediment and his sexuality ("He's 69. I just gave you time to make your own joke.")

This Was Cute

From IHT:

Pope Benedict said Monday that saving humanity from homosexual or transsexual behaviour was just as important as saving the rainforest from destruction.

The Church "should also protect man from the destruction of himself. A sort of ecology of man is needed," the pontiff said in a holiday address to the Curia, the Vatican's central administration.

"The tropical forests do deserve our protection. But man, as a creature, does not deserve any less."

The Catholic Church teaches that while homosexuality is not sinful, homosexual acts are. It opposes gay marriage and, in October, a leading Vatican official called homosexuality "a deviation, an irregularity, a wound."

Looking For A Solution To Your Financial Headaches?

Consider the art of buttfuckery:

My first phone call for this story was to Lee Badgett, the brilliant economist with the Williams Institute, an LGBT public policy think tank at the University of California, Los Angeles. Badgett has been researching gay people and poverty, and is so polite that she suppressed a groan when I told her the reason for my call, but I understood her objections: This story could confirm a stereotype of gays as more privileged than straights. It could make us seem frivolous, and it would continue to ignore the least advantaged in our community.

But then I asked Badgett to send me her preliminary data on gays and poverty. She did so -- the data appear in this story for the first time -- and the numbers show a complicated picture, which does reveal some financial advantage in being a gay man. According to census figures, gay and lesbian couples experience poverty at about the same rate as straight couples of the same race, age, and education level. But when you look at all gay men -- including singles -- they are half as likely to be living in poverty as straight men, according to numbers Badgett compiled from a 2002 survey by the National Center for Health Statistics. That survey showed that 2.1% of gay and bisexual men ages 18–44 live in poverty, compared with 4.2% of straight men in the same age group. (Straight women and lesbian/bisexual women in that age group had no statistically significant difference in poverty rates -- for each cohort, the rate was about 6%.)


However, there may be drawbacks:

Badgett also raised the possibility that in an economy as weak as America’s in late 2008, gay people might undergo discrimination at higher rates as bosses fire employees and pick among a larger applicant pool for new workers. Data from the latest Out & Equal Workplace Advocates survey -- again, presented in this story for the first time -- offer reasons to substantiate her concern. San Francisco–based Out & Equal partners with Harris Interactive and Witeck-Combs Communications every year to survey American employees on their attitudes toward LGBT coworkers. The group’s latest survey contains mostly good news: 79% of heterosexuals agree that gay people shouldn’t be judged by their sexual orientation. Only 22% say they think they would feel uncomfortable working for a boss who is lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. But here’s the worrisome part: In 2005, when the U.S. economy was vibrant (gross domestic product grew 2.9% that year), 62% of heterosexuals favored written nondiscrimination policies at their companies. In the first two quarters of this year, GDP grew only 2.1% (after shrinking 0.2% in the last quarter of 2007), and now only 46% of heterosexuals favor written antibias policies. Apparently equality seems more affordable when everyone is richer.

OMGEEZITZCLAYAIKENSINGINGTOHISBUTTBABYLOLZ!!!!!!!!

SHOCK AND AWE!!!

Clay Aiken has come out of the closet:

Following the Aug. 8 birth of his son Parker, singer Clay Aiken is following through on a promise he made to himself as a new dad: to publicly acknowledge that he's gay.

"It was the first decision I made as a father," Aiken, 29, tells the upcoming issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday. "I cannot raise a child to lie or to hide things. I wasn't raised that way, and I'm not going to raise a child to do that."

Change Sarah Palin Can Believe In

As in curbing acts of buttfuckery:

Gov. Sarah Palin's church is promoting a conference that promises to convert gays into heterosexuals through the power of prayer.

"You'll be encouraged by the power of God's love and His desire to transform the lives of those impacted by homosexuality," according to the insert in the bulletin of the Wasilla Bible Church, where Palin has prayed since she was a child.

Palin's conservative Christian views have energized that part of the GOP electorate, which was lukewarm to John McCain's candidacy before he named her as his vice presidential choice. She is staunchly anti-abortion, opposing exceptions for rape and incest, and opposes gay marriage and spousal rights for gay couples.

Focus on the Family, a national Christian fundamentalist organization, is conducting the "Love Won Out" Conference in Anchorage, about 30 miles from Wasilla.