Showing posts with label fancy pants. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fancy pants. Show all posts

Friday, May 29, 2009

The Only Piece On Lambo Cockrissian You Need To Read

adam lambert
Glitter Graphics



So.....

We were really gonna let this whole Lambo thing go. He lost, yet yll over the intertubes you can read and view statements of his coyness (is that word?) about his involvement in the acts of buttfuckery.

Yet, Richard at Gawker has summed up our feelings. So here it is:



You know what, Adam Lambert? Just can it with the coy shit. Everyone knows the American Idol second-placer is a big ol' homo from Fruitington Corners, but in every goddamn interview the lurching behemoth always says things like "keep speculating..." And I wish he'd just man up and step out.

Not that people should be forced to come out of the closet, but fool keeps calling himself a role model, and then won't acknowledge the fact that he's the gayest thing since Jody Watley got lost in the Tenderloin that one time. You can't really call yourself a role model, I don't think in this post-Prop 8 bullshit era of codified homophobia, while completely playing "tee heeeeee" with the press about something as fundamental and unchangeable as who you like to put your junk into. Is it anyone's business? Of course it's not. But would it be nice, just for fucking once, for a clearly gay, currently popular (and that's fleeting, Mary. Don't think it isn't. You're gonna be whistling the national anthem at state fairs come this time next year) to step up to the plate and say "You know what? Forget my own career, I'm gay. I'm well-liked (currently) and visible and I'm a proud gay American"? Yes that would be really nice. Because it would be honest and brave and true and exactly what (in some small part) the struggling gay youth of America needs. A person who everyone loved who also just happens to be gay.

So, Mr. Lambert, I know the coy shit is fun and cutesy and oohhh hoo hoo don't you chuckle to yourself between gulps, but it's all starting to come off a bit latent and scaredy-cat and lame. And the more you're teasing and "Maybe I'll come out in Rolling Stone, maybe I won't..." the more it becomes something that should be teased about, something that should be hinted and whispered. And it's not. It's a fact like any other fact. So please, either be honest and forthcoming about yourself, or just shut the hell up, make way for the real men, and stop calling yourself a role model. Because right now the only person you're a role model to is the kids who want to be what they want to be, but also don't want anyone to know about it. And that's sad.

Update! Yes, I know he's supposedly coming out on the cover of Rolling Stone next week. So, good for him! And good for Rolling Stone! How wonderfully this whole thing has been parlayed into a money-making endeavor. The gay community is so grateful to you, Adam.




Richard Lawson is our new hero.

via Gawker

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Today's Obligatory Lambo Cockrissian Update

There are 5 dead hookers behind this shower curtain

Where to begin....where to begin.....OH!

This terrifying Adam Lambert shower curtain that some lonely cutter is selling on eBay:

Unique! Original! Handpainted with a brush just like a piece of art! Hang it in your shower, on your wall, in a window, behind your bed as a headboard, or frame it and display it just like any art portrait in your home!


My instincts tell me this will be used as an actual shower curtain, bought by some fancy tween boy......and turned inside out. Just a guess.

Next up: Lambo went on a date...with a girl. Atleast that's what one site called it. Joe's Place is really not to be believed on anything, unless they have video of it where you can view it with your own eyes......and even then, don't believe.

The failed film and art students-turned-paparazzi at TMZ stalked Lambo on a "date" with a female and flipped out. Listen for the awkward exchange at the end when the razzi asks Lambo if he'll totally flame out and shoot glitter from his anus after he becomes the first....you know...Idol winner...that....um...




Back to last week, when the internets rages with conspiracies of Lambo's bottom (heh) 3 debut. AI's executive producer Nigel Lythgoe confirmed that, yes, the comely Dandy Prince of Angst did get that few votes:

”SET those conspiracy theories aside — “American Idol” wasn’t trying to fake you out with Wednesday night’s Bottom 3 results.

But Adam may not have been one of the Bottom 2, says the show’s former producer.

“They wouldn’t lie about it; they’re always honest with you,” says Nigel Lythgoe, previously the executive producer for the first seven seasons of “Idol” and currently the executive producer and a judge on “So You Think You Can Dance.”

That being said, it doesn’t mean the show won’t take some liberty with the order that the other two low-vote receiving contestants are told to sit down, he says.

After the votes are collected and tabulated by AT&T and the show’s survey firm, Telescope, “all we’re told at the end of the day is, ‘Here are the Bottom 3,’ ” he says. “And we make whatever we can out of that and turn it into a show.”

...Since “Idol” never specifically states who the second- and third-lowest vote getters are, any conclusions that the audience draws from the order that they’re sent to the safe stand is purely “up to the public at home.”



Atleast Lambo has one fan in high places: Pink Mafia board member Anderson Cooper...

Friday, March 14, 2008

Straight To Guantanamo. Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200

I was looking for today's Hilltard video, but came across this.

Way better.

Take a really lame gay kid that looks and talks like Quentin Tarantino, give him a webcam and too many Red Bulls, and you get this:

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Today's Hilltard Video

Thundercunt has just snagged the endorsement of the King of Fancy Pants!!!