Anne Hathaway Freak Out

Today's Godtube Moment

Oh noes!!! Godtube is no longer, after selling out to the secular liberal voodoo notion that taking the word "God" out of your internets site might attract a few more people.

And on this day, tangle was born:

So what's up with the new name? After much discussion, thought, prayer and your valuable feedback, we determined that having a fresh, new identity would allow us to expand our vision and reach even more people for Christ. We recognized that our new name had to represent everything we stand for and believe in, but that it would also have to reflect our new tools and functionality. We wanted our new name to be a welcoming change, something that would represent Christ and not just one religious affiliation, giving everyone the opportunity to connect, share and grow online. Most importantly, we wanted our name to represent YOU - and all that can be changed when you wrap your faith around it.


And with that, we bring you our very first Today's Tangle Moment:

Designers' Plea For Michelle's RSVP

From Pareene:

Will Michelle Obama go to fashion week? Designers certainly hope so! And she certainly won't!

...Billy Norwich, writing in hilariously named old lady site WowOwoW, says basically every designer has invited Michelle, and Michelle has not yet made her intentions known. Which is hilarious because as much as everyone likes it when she dresses up and as good as her coverage has been, showing up for a damn Fashion Show while the world burns is not good PR. Just not at all.

And the first lady also happens to mention her love for, you know, cheapish clothes that regular women can afford pretty often, repping for J. Crew, not so much Marc Jacobs.

Thinking Ahead

From Ben Smith:

Robert Gibbs said today that Obama will visit Elkhart, Indiana next week to push the stimulus package

"This is not designed to cajole any particular member of Congress," he said.

Indiana has another political significance, though: It was perhaps the reddest prize Obama picked up last November, and one into which Obama's aides put a great deal of effort.

So the symbolism of Indiana is, as much as anything else, about reminding the Congress of the breadth and power of Obama's electoral mandate, with an eye to 2010 and 2012.

We Still Don't Know If This Is A Joke

The Passion for Christ Movement (not to be confused with the Mel Gibson snuff film) has a new kind of message to spread...on T-shirts.

Stop masturbating:

Yeah we said it….Nobody talks about it, but most people have done it or are still doing it. It's seems to be a rite of passage for both girls and guys into the world of sex. Some say masturbation is not a sin, some say that it is. But is it really okay in the eyes of God?

...When God wants to take His message of deliverance across the globe, there is NO stopping Him. Check out this feature of the EX Shirts on one of the fastest growing Christian Hip Hop magazines in the US: www.DaSouth.com. Also, hit up their new article, "Masturbation" It breaks down the lies behind masturbation, explains how this is actually a sin, and how we can be freed through Christ.

And if you need even more encouragement, check out ya girl Dameco's latest blog entry, in which she fearlessly testifies to her struggle and victory over masturbation!


Well, do tell, Tampico:

Masturbation. This is the thing that many people do but don't really talk about, especially women. It's looked on as not ladylike and not pure. It's a shameful thing for many women and men alike. I struggled with masturbation for many years but this wasn't the only sexually immoral thing that I was enslaved to. I started masturbating as early as 7th or 8th grade, but overall my imprisonment to lust started as early as 4 or 5 years of age. When I was a little girl, I had a friend that I played with. Something must have happened to her because it was from playing with her that I had my first sexual experience. After this one time experience I wasn't the same and I developed homosexual tendencies as well. The seed of lust was planted and grew to maturity in my heart. I went from "humping" the floors, to sexually stimulate myself, to full on masturbation, which became my most shameful secret. The frequency to which I masturbated and the degree to which I did it was so bad that I actually ended up tearing the tissue on my clitoris. This sent me into depression for months because I thought I had mutilated myself. I had contemplated suicide because of it but I still didn't stop. The real battle began for me when I desired freedom.

...If your dealing with this, you need to confess it to God, confess everything. God is so serious about this sin . He said " if your eye—even your good eye —causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. "


Gross.

via OMG

The Boys Are Back

After being called to the office for grinding, the duo aids the administration in making an instructional video.

Catfight!!!

Ashley Judd is soooooooo gonna kick Bible Spice's ass.

Hitch Reax

Christopher Hitchens on Pope Benedict's decision to lift the excommunication of Holocaust denier Wykehamist Bishop Richard Williamson.

From Newsweek:

Ask yourself, first, why it was that the church took until 1965 to repudiate the charge of deicide against the Jews. After all, it is only in one verse of one Gospel (Matthew 27:24–25), and in the climactic scene of Mel Gibson's movie, that the Jewish Sanhedrin demands to be held responsible for the coming crucifixion for all time and through all generations. Then there is the question, even if the rabbis did make such a demand, of whether they could claim to speak for all Jews then, let alone all those who have been born since. So why did it take until 20 years after the Nuremburg trials for the church to admit the obvious?

...When excesses are committed by the religious (something which does indeed seem to happen from time to time), you often hear it argued that these are only perversions of the "true" or "real" or authentic teachings. What makes the present case so alarming is that concessions are being made to Holocaust-deniers and anti-Semites, and that this is not a departure from "original intent" Catholicism but rather part of a return to traditional and old-established preachments. For decades, it has seemed to many incurious outsiders that the Roman Catholic Church had at the very least made a good-faith attempt to acknowledge its historic responsibility for defaming the Jewish people. Suddenly, this achievement doesn't look so solid.

Thanks, Dick

If you expected Darth Cheney to slowly roll away in to the shadows of private life, think again.

The Dark Lord took a break from hunting the rarest of game to sit down for an interview with Politico. It seems that Pres. Obama's policy of spooning with terrorists just isn't spooky enough:

When we get people who are more concerned about reading the rights to an Al Qaeda terrorist than they are with protecting the United States against people who are absolutely committed to do anything they can to kill Americans, then I worry,” Cheney said.

Protecting the country’s security is “a tough, mean, dirty, nasty business,” he said. “These are evil people. And we’re not going to win this fight by turning the other cheek.”

...he said he worried that “instead of sitting down and carefully evaluating the policies,” Obama officials are unwisely following “campaign rhetoric” and preparing to release terrorism suspects or afford them legal protections granted to more conventional defendants in crime cases.

The choice, he alleged, reflects a naive mindset among the new team in Washington: “The United States needs to be not so much loved as it needs to be respected. Sometimes, that requires us to take actions that generate controversy. I’m not at all sure that that’s what the Obama administration believes.

We Shall Overcome

Commenter reax:

Anonymous said...
Hey, I'm also a student at SME, and we're having a (hopefully) big counterprotest on our side of 75th street. @Brickbat: You should come. International Baccalaureate dance party! We're calling 96.5 and other stations, so hopefully we'll get some sort of shout-out :D

Help the cause here.

Father of the Year Nominee

Dad jumps on the opportunity to fuck with his 7 yo kid after a visit to the dentist.

This seems eerily similar to my NYE ride home in the back of a taxi.

via Tabloid Prodigy

Fred Phelps To Protest Shawnee Mission East

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Back in October of 2007, the Prairie Village, KS high school annointed a sodomist homecoming overlord. Apparently the folks at Westboro Baptist Church, a renowned bathhouse in Topeka, have a harder time sounding out the printed word than we thought and are just now catching up on the news.

Fred Phelps and his army of secret homosexuals for Jesus will arrive at the school to protest February 5. Hoorayz!!!!!

Here's their Mission statement:

Shawnee Mission East High School - God Hates Fags! 7500 Mission Rd On the whole electing a fag to be your Homecoming Queen - well that is so appropriate for a filthy little goody-two-shoes-type bible belt community like Prairie Village! Here's how you hypocrites got that way: Romans 1:18 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness; 19 ¶ Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shewed it unto them. 20 For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse: 21 Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. 22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, 23 And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things. 24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves: 25 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. 26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: 27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet. 28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; 29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, 30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, 31 Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: 32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them. AMEN!


One can only hope they'll bring the kids to do some more caroling:




UPDATE: If anyone attends the event, email video and pictures to brickbatblog@gmail.com. There may be a Blingee contest on the horizon.

Meh

Thanks to dlisted, we found out that FOX is regurgitating Ab Fab.

Not impressed:

Kristen Johnston gave EW a little more information on what's going on with the new American butchery of the beloved Absolutely Fabulous. Kristen corrected the previous rumors that she's in talks to play Edie. Bitch is in the running for Patsy. Some bitch named Kathryn Hahn is in talks to play Edie. Okay, Kristen is more of a Patsy, but that still doesn't make it right.

...Feel the pain when reading Kristen describe this future caca show, "I think they captured the exact amount of sweetie-darling. I mean, it’s a totally different element, it’s a totally different show. We don’t smoke, we are hungover all the time, we chew Nicorette, we’re trying to be more PC, but I think it really works. It’s one of those scripts that’s like my favorite kind because on paper you’re like, Oh, this is funny, but when you read it out loud with two actresses, it’s, like, the funniest shit ever."

Basically, this sounds more like a remake of that disaster High Society.


One of our fav moments here:

The Progressive Somehow Manages To Include Injuns In The Conversation

Let us save you some time: "Blah blah styrofoam blah blah tear blah blah polution oil the end".

Casinos need a bailout, too:

To accomplish the green energy goals he talked about in his inaugural address, President Obama must work with Native Americans.

...To realize these goals, Obama’s administration must collaborate with Native American tribes to realize their vast wind and solar power potential. For instance, using solar power alone, Native lands have the potential to generate about 4.5 times the amount of electricity that is produced in the entire United States. Tribal wind resources could provide a double digit percentage of the country’s electricity, as well.

SPOILER ALERT: No sources given.

Wheel Of Fierce

A homosexual appeared on an old game show my grandmother watches before she has a dementia blackout face first in to her lime jello.

This is a big deal now because he acknowledged his fiancé, which is a fake term sodomists use to refer to thier heathen partners-in-sin.

From Fey:

Yay! Gay!

Everybody (like, two people) is making a big deal about how this gay dude won on Wheel of Fortune last week, and how he thanked his male fiancee, and even got to give said fiancee a timid little on-air hug after his victory.

But seriously, is proving to flyover America that we KNOW HOW TO SPIN WHEELS and KNOW HOW TO SPELL such an acheivement?* I'd be much prouder if one of our kind won on a DIFFICULT game show, like Jeopardy, or a glacially-paced primetime show like Deal or No Deal, where the flaming gaytestant would be given an extended period of time to rub their unsettling feyness in America's Doritos-dusted eyeholes.

Danza del Gaucho Matrero

via The Youtubes

Today's Paultard Video

This Paultard made a prediction that markets would collapse on January 26 of this year.

Funny thing: today is January 31 and most of us are still not hobos who gobble cock in an alleyway for chocolate wrappers that look gold.

But, BEWARE! Youtube user january262009 warns of February 6, which is the day that Jesus comes back to Earth wearing a V for Vendetta mask astride Ron Paul to devour our dollars and economies.

via The Youtubes

Palin Church Fire Secrets Revealed

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Not only was the Great Wasilla Bible Church Fire of '08 the work of angry homosexuals. Now it has come to light that it was the work of homosexual assassins:

[Blogger Kevin] Collins said he discussed the situation with a church elder, Tom Ryan, who confirmed the case isn’t a simple arson, but an attempted murder situation.

“There were five adult women and a 17-year-old girl in the church during the arson,” Collins wrote.

He also reported the telephone wires and those controlling the fire alarm and water sprinkler were cut before the fire was set from within the building, because footprints were found inside the control room.

“Clearly the arson[ist] knew the victims were present,” he wrote.

“The facts speak clearly. This attempted murder was perpetrated by someone from outside of the Wasilla area, a hired assassin who went there to kill people because of what they believe,” Collins reported.


Jesus' General responds:

No doubt your conclusion is correct. It must have been a murder attempt carried our by hired assassins from out of state. Your logic is impeccable. As you note, the phone and alarm lines were reportedly cut--surely, no one from Wasila has the mental acuity needed to operate a tool as complex as a wire cutter.

But who are these assassins? Are they Obama-voting infidels from Seattle, Denver, Charlotte or some other piece of faux America? Or are they part of a more sinister group--perhaps one with international origins.

I strongly suspect it's the latter. More specifically, I blame Nigerian child witches. They certainly have a motive. Gov. Palin's close relationship with Nigerian witch fighter Thomas Muthee surely scares them. They are already suffering greatly from the "poison destroyers," imprisonment, and beatings to which Pastor Muthee and his fellow witch fighters are subjecting them. Add the full power of American military might Palin could muster after God makes her President, and, hey, these wicked child witches could be rendered powerless in a matter of weeks.

I hope you'll pursue that lead, but if you do, please do so carefully.

Pilot For "The Bill Show" Airs

Ametuer Gynecologist and wife of Thundercunt, Bill Clinton, had a secret sexy meeting with Vladimir Putin at a fancy Supervillian retreat in Davos. The two men got wasted and had a 90 minute discussion, which we presume included some heavy over-the-sweater petting action:

Upon arriving here on Wednesday afternoon, he conducted a series of quiet meetings with foreign leaders that culminated in an intense late-night discussion with Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin. The two former presidents met at a Sheraton hotel where Putin held a private party, following an early evening reception at a local museum hosted by Clinton.

Putin greeted Clinton cordially as "our good friend" as they raised glasses of vodka and then listened to a pianist pound out "In the Hall of the Mountain King." When the musical entertainment concluded, they moved to a table in a separate room with access strictly controlled by Secret Service and Russian security agents. Flanked by aides and an interpreter, the two men talked for nearly 90 minutes before they rose and walked out together for a few pictures with partygoers and members of Clinton's entourage.

Neither man commented on the substance of their discussions, and there was no indication that Clinton was carrying a particular message to the Russian leader.

Further Evidence Kanye West & Friends™ Are Big Mos

Kanye and his girlfriends went to Fashion Week, Sex in the City style as pictured above, and got called horrible names like "gay" and "clown" because they dressed like gay hobo clowns from the future.

This did not sit well with Kanye's barber and image consultant, Ibn Jasper, who is a man that dresses and cuts the hair of a homosexual for a living.

Jasper lashed out, threatening the internets Michael Steele style:

...And for the record, aint NONE OF US "gay"or a "clown". What's so funny to me about it , is that we dress like grown men.

And let's not forget that we are from the streets of Chicago, aint nothing sweet over here. We aint no punks! Getting dressed up and stunting on people is all a part of the Pimp/ Player culture that we were raised in. You guys might have just seen that type of stuff in movies like "The Mack" and "Pimps Up, Hoes Down", but that is what we grew up around, lived and saw everyday. To this day, my father says that he raised all of his sons to be Pimps. I already have broken and scratched up knuckles from steeling on and smacking the sh!t out of dudes that tried to underestimate me and call me out of my name. If someone wants to be the next victim I would be more that happy to grant them that wish...


Here's our favorite part:


Activity Day from ibn jasper on Vimeo.

We pop them thangs too, don't get it twisted....

I'm not on no tough sh!t, I just know how to defend myself. I learned how to shoot guns correctly in my highschool R.O.T.C. class.

via Gawker

Denial

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From Yahoo Answers:

My 17 year old son has been very secretive with me lately, recently he has started to refuse to go to church with the family and tonight when I was going through his room I found a magazine with naked men in it. He obviously has a girlfriend that he is hiding from me that brought that magazine into my home and I am afraid they are having intercourse and I am greatly concerned that he is going to get her pregnant.

What should I do about this?

via FAIL

GOP Elects...wait...what? A Black Guy?

The RNC chair race was a really interesting thing. After being slaughtered in the last two election cycles, no one important or interesting or having a modicum of decency would get anywhere near that tar baby.

Enter a couple of black guys and a gaggle of Klansmen.

After 6 ballots, Michael Steele defeated some elderly Grand Wizard who was traumatized as a child by being forced to attend school with a bunch of "nagras".

He then instituted a new reign of black terror within the party, mugging several aged Republicans in the parking lot while shouting death threats:

"We're going to say to friend and foe alike: 'We want you to be a part of us, we want you to with be with us.' And for those who wish to obstruct, get ready to get knocked over,"

Inaugural Memories

Holy Ghost People

We never heard of this documentary until last weekend.

The film, made in 1967 by Peter Adair, chronicles the service of a Pentecostal church in West Virginia.

Scary stuff.

Here are parts 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.

Worth watching.

Then again, we were high.

Today's Godtube Moment

Words can't describe.

Here's the description from Godtube:

Sarah Palin tries to make a difference by throwing starfish that are stranded on the shore back into the sea while Obama and Biden stand by and watch.