President Unicorn Delivers Eloquent Faux-SOTU Address

President Obama offered a grim portrait of America's plight in an address to a joint session of Congress last night, but he promised to lead an economic renewal that would lift the country out of its current crisis without bankrupting its future.

Striking an optimistic tone that has been absent from his speeches in recent weeks, the president said his stimulus plan, bank bailout proposal, housing programs and health-care overhaul would work in concert to turn around the nation's struggling economy. And while he bluntly described a country beset by historic economic challenges and continued threats abroad, he said the solution lies in directly confronting -- not ignoring -- those problems.

"The weight of this crisis will not determine the destiny of this nation," he said. "The answers to our problems don't lie beyond our reach. They exist in our laboratories and universities, in our fields and our factories, in the imaginations of our entrepreneurs and the pride of the hardest-working people on Earth."

In an address that largely shunned foreign policy to focus on the economy, Obama added: "Now is the time to jump-start job creation, restart lending, and invest in areas like energy, health care and education that will grow our economy, even as we make hard choices to bring our deficit down."

The 52-minute speech was greeted with sustained applause in the House chamber, which he had helped populate with more members of his party. Republican and Democratic lawmakers alike rose repeatedly to offer their approval of the president's rhetoric and his promise of recovery.

via WaPo

Bobby Jindal To Deliver SOTU Response...In Tongues

Tonight, President Unicorn will be accompanied on the airwaves by fellow Mooslim and known date rapist Piyush "Bobby" Jindal:

Jindal, the 37-year-old governor of Louisiana and the Republican party's new hope, needs to demonstrate confidence and competence - and show a little sparkle - to boost his hopes of being chosen to take on Obama in 2012.

...Being chosen by the Republicans to respond to Obama gives Jindal a significant leg-up over his rivals, offering millions of viewers their first opportunity to see Jindal, who is conservative on both social and economic policy. The high-profile slot in the past has boosted careers but also destroyed them.


So, good luck, our fair Mexican Child King. Fuck this up, and the GOP is stuck with Bible Spice.

W Not Homophobe, Just Plays One on TV

At the SOTU, President Bush passed openly gay Rep. Barney Frank and this occured:

Rep. Barney Frank was on his cell when President Bush passed by and joked, "Tell him I said hello." Later, the openly gay congressman told him it was his boyfriend on the line, reports Matthew Huisman of the Boston University-Washington News Service. "Oh, okay, I hope he appreciates how open-minded I am," Bush said.

via The Reliable Source

SOTU Make Out Party

If you're a GOP Congressman in a very close reelection year, in a moderate district, it's probably not a good idea to try and make out with W.

Bush's Last SOTU

SOTU Ice Fest

photos via AP

W's last State of the Union was last night. I didn't get to watch it live, but did watch some highlights. Apparently the best parts were before Bushie started talking about the economies and scary brown people or whatever.

Above is a picture where Hillz reaches across to shake Ted Kennedy's hand, and Barry turns his back. The horror!!!

Below is a picture where, I guess, Barry is scouting the perfect place to drive a stake in her heart.



AP reports:

Rival Democrats Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barack Obama came within a foot of one another just before President Bush's State of the Union speech Monday night and managed not to acknowledge each other.

It was quite a feat, given the packed House floor, the customary bear-hugging and jostling among other members. Then a doorkeeper sat the rivals in the same row, only an aisle and four senators between them.

Sen. Edward M. Kennedy was not caught in the middle. The Democrat from the iconic political family had taken sides earlier in the day when he endorsed Obama over Clinton. Kennedy was seated beside Obama, away from Clinton.

CNN elaborates:

When Clinton straightened up, Kennedy quickly reached across Barack Obama to shake Clinton’s hand. She took it. As they spoke, Obama turned away. Then the senators seated to Obama’s right – Ben Nelson and Ken Salazar — both shook Senator Clinton’s hand and talked to her. Instead of doing the same, Obama turned to look at the back of the room. Sen. Claire McCaskill, who has also endorsed Obama and was seated next to Kennedy, reached across the Massachusetts senator — who was still talking to Clinton — and tapped Obama (still twisted toward the back of the room) on the shoulder. McCaskill engaged Obama in conversation until the moment passed.

Another interesting part:

In other handshaking news, Bush shook Obama's hand after the speech but not Clinton's.

Maybe this is why...



via AP & CNN