Reality

He wins.

via HuffPo

Elderly WALNUTS! Endorsed by Teh Gay Governor

via CBS

BREAKING NEWS: Lawmakers Must Abide Laws!!!

Andy Dwyer had a dream. A dream of becoming a Florida lawmaker.

Florida election buzzkills officials say that's not gonna happen just because of one silly little felony:

...24-year-old Dwyer also has a federal felony conviction that prevents him from registering to vote. A candidate for office in Florida must be a registered voter.

Okaloosa County Supervisor of Elections Pat Hollarn notified Dwyer in mid-February 2007 that he was being removed from the voter registration rolls. He had pre-filed the same month with the state Division of Elections in Tallahassee to seek the District 5 seat now held by Rep. Don Brown, R-DeFuniak Springs.

What caused this atrocity against mankind?

An Aug. 16, 2005, federal indictment stated that on three occasions in 2005, Dwyer “pretended to be” a contract employee of the Federal Aviation Administration and used that status to fly free on commercial jets out of Okaloosa Regional Airport.

Well, surely the county GOP knew about this, right?

Craig Otto, chairman of Okaloosa County’s Republican Executive Committee, gave Dwyer $150 early in his campaign. He said that as a former candidate himself, he understood the difficulties of raising money.

Otto said he hasn’t gotten his money back from Dwyer yet.

“I didn’t even know he was a felon,” he said.

Fuck frequent flier miles. Vote Dwyer.

via NWF Daily News

Colbert on Clintons

via Sully

Barry on Letterman

Barry in Columbia

Rambo to Kick Ranger Walker's Ass

New WALNUTS! Ad

George Clooney's Bad Neighborhood

The Wire

Hey, remember back in 2004 when everyone was talking about W being wired at a debate?

Well at last night's GOP debate in Boca, there's a clip of Mittens where you can hear "raise taxes" whispered right before he answers the question.

Wierd.

NYFD Kinda Hates 9udy

Here's a clip from a press conference in Orlando.

Yikes:



He's also sinking in the polls down here. Glad I saw him when I could. Looks like it's back to NYC for 9udy.

via Brave New Films

John Gibson: Big Time Dbag

Fox's John Gibson on the death of Heath.

Douchebag.

Mittens, STFU

via Jezebel

Jawa Found on Mars

Above is a photo that NASA's Spirit took while doing recon on Mars.

Some say it's a rock. Others say it's Bigfoot. Others say it's Osama.

I say wait and see if the figure tries to steal and then resell the Spirit. If so, it's def a Jawa.

via The Sun

Sisterhood of the Traveling Skirts

Catching Up on Paultardery

Emo Paultard Lisps Lists Reasons for Supporting his Overlord

Fag Presidential Candidate John Edwards' Tyra Pajama Party

photo via People

Millboy sat down with Tyra and had a chit chat about their hair, boys, Wendys, and maybe a couple things that mattered:









via Yahoo

Unpresidential

Here's a clip from a heated exchange between Ametuer Gynecologist Bill Clinton and a CNN reporter:

Michelle Speaks Out

It's nice to see both Obamas standing up to Billary:

"The one thing that is clear is that when power is confronted with real change, they will say anything," she said.

...She described his decision after college to do community work instead of going to Wall Street to "make millions," then his decision after Harvard Law School to take on civil rights work and the state legislature. She said his books are the only reason they recently got out of debt.

"It would seem to me that before anyone would open their mouth to even claim to want to be president of the United States they would have to show that kind of commitment to regular folks," she said.

Get 'em.

via Greenville Online

Shocking Video of Pet Abuse

I'm no animal nut, but watching the following video turns my stomache:

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is asking shoppers to boycott PetSmart after the advocacy group released undercover video of pets to be sold there apparently being abused.

An employee took video that shows a rabbit being neutered, with a dull razor and no anesthesia. The animal kicks its legs in pain.

via kristv. story here / video here

Today's Godtube Moment

Dust on the Bible

Speaking of People Who Should Be Waterboarded in Hell

Oh Yeh, Jeebus. One More Thing...

Make sure that, if there is indeed a Hell, Fred Phelps and his inbred fucktard family are roasting in the hottest darkest part of it.

via wwtdd

W Turns Emo Over Heath

Bushie was gonna give an important speech on the dangers of prescrition drug abuse, but in light of the Heath saga, he's giving teh gayz a couple of days to sort things out:

White House press secretary Dana Perino said Bush's event had been scheduled for a while.

"We thought it would be better to postpone the event rather than run the risk of anyone thinking that we were being opportunistic in highlighting the issue," she said.

I really expected something more along the lines of this:



Huh.

via AP