New WALNUTS! Ad

First Lady in the Making

History is happening before our eyes.



via Sully

The God Squad

Nazi Pope has ordered his bishops to set up exorcism squads to combat the rise of Satanism.

The initiative was revealed by 82-year-old Father Gabriele Amorth, the Vatican "exorcistinchief," to the online Catholic news service Petrus.
"Thanks be to God, we have a Pope who has decided to fight the Devil head-on," he said.

Herr Pope, I have three words for you: Steel. Cage. Matches.

via Daily Mail

Classic Obama

A Sad Day

Red State Update: Ron Paul

If Only

BREAKING NEWS: There are Gayz in Florida

UCLA School of Law’s Williams Institute released a report stating there are 55,000 same-sex couples living in Florida.

So that's about 110,000 residents soon to be fucked over by religious mouth breathers' Save Marriage from Teh Gayz constitutional amendment.

Stay classy Florida.

[The marriage debate] via NWF Daily News

Assassinated

photo via ABC

[Pakistan's Bhutto Killed in Attack]

New Hampshire Hates Mittens

First, the Concord Moniter gives Mitt an anti-endorsement.

Now, the Union Leader gives the scary spaceman the same treatment.

They say he lacks conviction, which is code for "Your religion is fucking nuts, you have secret handshakes, you wear magic pajamas, and ummmmm that kinda creeps us out."

UPDATE: Paultard takes Lips Away from Bong Long Enough to Rebut

Paultard responds by throwing flower necklaces.

My Hero for the Day

Eat this CNN.

12/25 Truce with Nazi Pope

photo via AP

At tonight's Xmas mass, Pope Benedict XVI said something I found profound:

Man is so preoccupied with himself, he has such urgent need of all the space and all the time for his own things, that nothing remains for others, for his neighbor, for the poor, for God

AP

I Had No Idea

What do nosebleeds, Anime, and Viagra have in common?

Read the backtracks.

via Sully

Why the U.S. is STILL Better than Our Bacon Eating, Syrup Chugging Neighbors to the North

This Canadian brainchild got silicon breast implants for his tatoo of a lady with big ta tas.

[Lady Lumps] via Jezebel

12/25 Racial Stereotypes

The lynchpin of American society. This has been in my head all month. Still as funny since the first time.

Pat Robertson Intrigued by Paultards

Aren't we all?

Ron Paul - Slavemaster

I heart Meet the Press. Tim Russert has the ability to bring out the kook in anyone.

Yesterday's episode featured Paultard Overlord Ron Paul. As usual with anything that features RuPaul, it brought the crazy. Here's his take on the Civil War, basically saying Lincoln was an idiot and should have just bought all the slaves.

Vote Ron Paul and own your own slaves! What a douche.





And this is why I heart Ann Coulter.

Elizabeth Kucinich's Hotness Brings Religions Together

If she can spare the time from helping Dennis make Grasshoppers, I so want her to read me a bedtime story or something. I lika the way she talk.

Ron Paul and Friends to Cruise in Hindenburg

Hey, remember Ron Paul's neo-nazi money?

Here's a pic from September at the Values Voters Presidential debate. Guess who's pictured?



Yup, Don Black. The nazi guy who runs Stormfront. Wierdo next to Don is Carmen Sandeigo impersonator/Don's son Derek.

Instead of making Liberty Dollars, are Paultards now going to use Reichsmark coins?

[little green footballs]

Please Waterboard this She-He

It's still not unconstitutional, right? GET TO IT! For real.

The New York Observer actually thought it would be kewl to interview the pillow biter, I suppose assuming he had something interesting to say.

Isn't it bad enough we had to watch that fucking video over and over? Then, he's getting his own show. Then gets Time's viral video of the year.

In the NYO interview, he spits out cute gems like this:

This election will be my first chance to vote, and I want to be confident in my choice. Everyone thinks it’s so controversial for Hillary to be in the running, but where are the openly gay presidential candidates? Don’t get me wrong, fag hags are great, but why have the hag when you can have the fag?

I rest my case, secret Bush Administation terrorist court people. Intern this danger to society now.

So, start with this



stir in some




a dash of this



sprinkle some of this on it



and then BAM! One steaming hot serving of my tax dollars put to good use right at my dinner table.

Good for some, good for all. Right?

Alan Keyes Will Blow Your Mind

Part-time GOP presidential candidate Alan Keyes gave a speech in Reno back in October dealing with some serious psychological shit. Follow him down the rabbit hole.

Satanists Invade Panama Shitty to Counter Pagan Insurgency in FWB

Not content with letting Pagan goat killers encroach on Panhandle territory, Satanic forces are stealing "light-up Lords" (otherwise known as Baby Jesus) from mangers all over Panama Shitty. Since this has happened on a couple of occasions this year, it's obviously an epidemic. Atleast according to S. Brady Calhoun of Florida Freedom Newspapers, who's pretty pissed that people are fucking with plastic versions of God's only son.

One of the victims, Gerard Virga, agrees with my snap judgement:

It might be a cult or something. Why would you take baby Jesus?


Why indeed, sir?

[Baby Jesus being stolen from Panama City mangers]

9udy Wishes You a Merry 12/25

Here's his other Christmas ad, lisping something about borders and taxes. There may be no Christmas this year, as it seems 9udy is holding Santy hostage to make these stupid videos.

Mitt Saves