BREAKING NEWS: Pat Robertson Still Has A Show

Much to our shock and dismay.

So, how do you fill airtime after 43 years? Pray for people to poop!

This is a disgusting, yet necessary tool to help us through Hump Day.

via the Youtubes

Sarah Palin Can't Wait Until WALNUTS! Dies And Goes To Hell

The endangered Alaskan Snowcunt gave a speech before fellow Republicans and had this interesting byte:

"Some in the media actually participated in not so much the 'who-what-where-when-why' objective reporting on candidates and positions, those five W's that I learned when I had a journalism degree so many years ago in college, when the world of journalism was quite different than it is today," she said.

"No, things have changed," she continued. "But complaining? Or whining? Absolutely not. But I am going to call it like I see it. It doesn't do any good to whine about any of this. But I can call it like I see it. Sometimes it gets me in a lot of trouble when I speak candidly, and I speak from the heart and I do such a thing. But I am going to."

"And there was that media slant this go round," she said. "And unless things change, the GOP had really better can stand together, 'cause we got that on the battlefield also. I call it like I see it and like I lived it on the campaign trail. Not complaining, but dealing with reality."

"Those are the cards that are dealt us," she said, "and we had better learn to play that hand and do things right and do things better."

Later in the speech, she told a story about praying for strength before last October's Vice Presidential debate with Joe Biden in St. Louis.

"So I'm looking around for somebody to pray with, I just need maybe a little help, maybe a little extra," she said. "And the McCain campaign, love 'em, you know, they're a lot of people around me, but nobody I could find that I wanted to hold hands with and pray." As the crowd laughed, Palin grinned and said she meant no disrespect to the McCain campaign. She said she ultimately prayed with her daughter Piper.

Email From Crazy Racist Aunt Of The Day

Now she wants to pray the Mooslim Obama away:

Subject: prayer request

I was very dismayed when, recently, a member of my Church said to me with great resignation that she was afraid Obama will take the presidency. These words came from someone that in the past has been a great prayer warrior. What is happening was my question??? Why are we Christians settling for the loss of our Christian heritage, not issuing a battle cry and falling to our knees and taking our country back? We allow ourselves to be stripped of the right to pray at school functions and in school, we have the Ten Commandments removed from government places and are told we cannot pray publicly or proclaim Christian principles, all the while providing public prayer places for Muslims. We allow Muslim mosques to operate in America funded by Saudi Arabia, and proclaim anti-American, anti-Christian threats and terrorism.

...It is time for all Christian Americans to raise the battle cry and take our nation back! Maybe McCain on his own cannot defeat Obama, but our God can and He will if we take to our knees in prayer and raise a mighty cry to the heavens to 'Save us O Lord'. Who knows where with his message of 'change'; a change which I fear will be away from our Christian ideals, and away from Christ . We have God's promises in 2 Chronicles 7:14, 'If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, pray, seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.' We have the power to change the course of this election and to keep a man as suspect as Barak Obama from leading our country away from one nation under God to one nation under Allah.

We are great at passing stories and pictures around the internet but where are our prayers and prayer warriors praying to stop this tide of Barak Obama? God parted the Red Sea, Jesus was raised from the dead, and we can bring our country back to its Christian roots and stop the undermining of our country by Muslims. We can stop our country from being 'under Allah' but we must begin to pray, to pray as our country and our lives depended on it because they do.

We can stop all these atrocities against God's commands that have taken root in our country through something as simple as sincere prayer, a call to God to deliver us, to forgive us our sins of apathy and to protect us from the evil that is upon us.

Okay prayer warriors, here is your challenge, start those prayer chains. Get the spiritual power working on our behalf and stop Barak Obama the proper way, by calling on our God to save us from the deception that charismatic preaching is using to lead us on the wrong path. Stop those who would take God out of our country and our government. Raise up good men to lead us and protect us. George Bush is being buffeted because he has fought a holy war against the evils that attack us ... and we should not be surprised because a prophet is not honored in his own country. But we should not rest on our laurels and allow ourselves to be taken further off the path of Christianity and to have God removed from our presence in our schools, courts, government and businesses. Invite God into the fray. Ask that His power rest upon us and give us the victory. Ask him to raise up a mighty army to defend us and to protect our country as he did in days of old. Let us be victorious beginning NOW. The battle is His but we must call on Him without ceasing and unite our voices and hearts in prayer and fasting.

Please pass this around to all people of prayer that you know and maybe, just maybe, a more eloquent person of prayer will write something better and more inspiring and even the rocks will shout that Jesus is Lord and our Mighty God is with us and bringing the victory for us and ultimately for Him. AMEN!

The Pope Is Here

Beloved Nazi-Pope Benadryl the XVI has arrived in America!

Today is his birthday so, like anyone else would dream of doing, he spent it with our W.

He also gave a speech at the White House:

Pope Benedict XVI became only the second Pope to visit the White House, and he gave a speech about the purpose of his trip and the importance of democracy being informed by moral values. In attendance was, of course, Bush. The President must have been extremely impressed by the Pope's words because right after Pope Benedict concluded his remarks, Bush leaned over and said, "Thank you, your holiness. Awesome speech."

You can watch the video here.

It's Art

From the Baltimore Sun:

Someone making a statement that Baltimore is a city that needs but doesn't have a prayer? Or that you shouldn't waste time on earthly beings but try for a direct line to God? Or even commentary on Baltimore as the one-time home of the world's most famous atheist, Madalyn Murray O'Hair?

None of the above, it turns out. I noticed "Prayer Booth" only this weekend, but it's been on its site -- a grassy island just off Cathedral Street, north of the Meyerhoff -- since July, when it went up as part of the Baltimore Sculpture Project. It's one of 30 pieces of public art installed on downtown sites last year as a way of extending the spirit of the Artscape festival beyond its usual summer weekend.

via Baltimore Sun